Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why don’t more people live close to friends?

annehelen.substack.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

201–210 of 572 posts

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#201

Post by Gigachad »

hibikir wrote: post #163
zamnos wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a bit of an unconventional POV, but I don't consider large areas of suburban sprawl to be cities but just really big towns. This covers Houston, swaths of Atlanta, lots of Southern California. There are lots of people living there compared to rural areas, to be sure, but without the density to support usable public transportation (once-an-hour buses don't count), it's really not a city at all. It's endless su…

If anything, you are being too nice to US suburbs: It's perfectly possible to have towns that are much denser than any US suburb. My Spanish home town has about 100K inhabitants: You'd not call that a city anywhere in the US. And yet, It's basically a circle with a one mile radius: Yes, just one mile. In that situation, one can walk everywhere, and public transportation is limited to the elderly, people carrying heav…

I think people don't realise how dense an area can be without needing highrises.

Even just townhouses which are still "single family" buildings on their own land are roughly 4x denser than detached houses.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#202

Post by midoridensha »

epistasis wrote: post #170
bavell wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Huh? Growing up in the burbs (90's and 00's) I had dozens of kids around my age within biking distance.

This is changing, kids are riding a lot less than in the 00s (here's one of many articles): https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2019/06/04/fewer-kids-... It may be social, in that letting kids roam on their own is not as acceptable and could get you in trouble with courts. Also, "cars" are more dangerous these days, ans they shift into more trucks and SUVs with massive blind spots and distracted drivers, and there…

>And I will likely have to leave the US to find what I want.

Yep, that's exactly what I did. I'm in Tokyo now, and it's mostly what the "NotJustBikes" crowd is asking for: great public transit, walkability, lots of bike-riding, etc. I see kids walking or riding bikes by themselves all the time. I finally realized I was never going to be able to live in this kind of society in the US, so I found a place that had the lifestyle I wanted and moved there.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#203

Post by AceJohnny2 »

electriclove wrote: post #112
AceJohnny2 wrote: post #56

I can attest to the value of living close to friends. A few of us moved into 3 apartments in the same apartment complex, and it's really great. Other close friends have a place that's 20 minutes walk away, so we frequently do things together. Of course, we live in the Bay Area where the housing market is shit , so we recognize how lucky we are to afford our situation. It was much easier for me when I lived in a small…

Are you all single, married, with kids? Preferences can change as your life changes.

Good point. >30s, some married, no kids.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#204

Post by hackernewds »

BenFranklin100 wrote: post #14

Access to friends is probably the biggest reason I prefer dense urban environments. There’s something magical about being able to step out your door and be within a 10-20 minute walk of close friends or family. It invites casual get togethers like Saturday afternoon coffee or an after work drink. Living an hour or two apart kills these opportunities. I recall walking through Vienna one weeknight evening and being ama…

> outright bans of denser types of housing makes this lifestyle all but impossible.

I'm confused by this take. Most American urban cities are unnecessarily dense - Manhattan, SF, Chicago all squeezed into high rises 1000 occupant buildings.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#205

Post by hackernewds »

throwaway22032 wrote: post #181
mikrotikker wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd far rather go for a long drive in a comfortable car with scenic views than go to a bar. My closest (in both meanings of the word) friend is three hours away through a scenic mountain pass and when we go there its for an entire weekend. This gives time to help with things like building a shed or swapping an engine in a car.

Heh. I live in a city and more and more I feel this. The whole idea behind urbanism seems to be - give up the outdoors, give up hobbies that require tools and space. Go to the bar. Or a "makerspace" where you can have controlled use of someone else's tools. Rent this, rent that, take an uber here and there. It's just so commercialised.

Why not both? Except in the city, you can meet your friend and go together in the outdoors instead of 3 hour solo commute time, where there's no real interaction with them.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#206

Post by tormeh »

throwaway22032 wrote: post #181
mikrotikker wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd far rather go for a long drive in a comfortable car with scenic views than go to a bar. My closest (in both meanings of the word) friend is three hours away through a scenic mountain pass and when we go there its for an entire weekend. This gives time to help with things like building a shed or swapping an engine in a car.

Heh. I live in a city and more and more I feel this. The whole idea behind urbanism seems to be - give up the outdoors, give up hobbies that require tools and space. Go to the bar. Or a "makerspace" where you can have controlled use of someone else's tools. Rent this, rent that, take an uber here and there. It's just so commercialised.

I get it, to a certain extent. But it’s not quite that simple. Many rural hobbies have pretty intense initial capital outlays, while urban ones tend to have higher running costs. Making tools that end up basically unused in suburban sheds is a big industry.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#207

Post by kennyloginz »

zamnos wrote: post #37
naremu wrote: post #25

I've been wondering how related these feelings of distance and isolation in the middle of society are to how the area is designed. I had always known for a long time the "why" I didn't want to go out on weekends and such, but it wasn't until I watched some of those videos from "Not Just Bikes" that it really, really struck me. I literally dread finding parking more than I enjoy finding friends. And suburban (and fran…

This is a bit of an unconventional POV, but I don't consider large areas of suburban sprawl to be cities but just really big towns. This covers Houston, swaths of Atlanta, lots of Southern California. There are lots of people living there compared to rural areas, to be sure, but without the density to support usable public transportation (once-an-hour buses don't count), it's really not a city at all. It's endless su…

This sounds really weird to me. Where I’m from, suburbs try to distinct themselves from the city by using arbitrary landmarks, like railroads. When they gain this distinction, they are able to separate even more using taxes and schooling to create a deeper division. From my point of view, including these suburbs into the city is practically better than the trend of segregation.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#209

Post by libraryatnight »

naremu wrote: post #25

I've been wondering how related these feelings of distance and isolation in the middle of society are to how the area is designed. I had always known for a long time the "why" I didn't want to go out on weekends and such, but it wasn't until I watched some of those videos from "Not Just Bikes" that it really, really struck me. I literally dread finding parking more than I enjoy finding friends. And suburban (and fran…

Cars are awful. I was fantasizing about an e-bike after reading a thread on HN, but in Phoenix, I'd die for sure. I do not feel safe around other cars in my car much less a bike. I really wish the US weren't so all in on cars. It's only getting worse with the oversized death-machine trucks saturating the roads. My in-laws are blind as bats and drive something that should require a commercial license.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#210

Post by timwaagh »

naremu wrote: post #25

I've been wondering how related these feelings of distance and isolation in the middle of society are to how the area is designed. I had always known for a long time the "why" I didn't want to go out on weekends and such, but it wasn't until I watched some of those videos from "Not Just Bikes" that it really, really struck me. I literally dread finding parking more than I enjoy finding friends. And suburban (and fran…

Not just bikes makes it feel like the solution to everything is to be like the Netherlands. In that sense it's a fraud. To some extent yes you should be more like us and offload some of that traffic onto a bike path. To the extent that works and is efficient. But... I have lived here all my life. It is not a solution to anything else. It turns out, bikes do not talk to each other very much either.
Post reply on HN