Ask HN: How is your mental health?

Suicidal. Was in the psych ward voluntarily for a few days recently. Got better, was discharged, but it’s getting worse again. Tried two different antidepressants without much success so far. Seeing a therapist for more than half a year, spent a ton of money on that. It only seems to get worse, increasingly certain that suicide is the only viable path.

Spent many years living in isolation. I thought that was what I wanted. I had so much social anxiety it was the only way to live I could imagine. But I’ve realized it was deeply unhealthy. I don’t really have any friends, although I am friendly with colleagues. Never had a romantic relationship. At this point, getting either seems insurmountable. Even just thinking about dating fills me with dread and suicidal thoughts.

I’ve heard all the advice: find a hobby, work on yourself, etc. Hearing that advice only makes my suicidal ideation more intense because I don’t see myself doing it.

I can’t live with who I am and I can’t be who I need to be to live. Seems like it’s only a matter of time before I jump in front of a train.

Much better than last year, which is what I had been hoping for. There's still a ways to go, but it seems the worst is behind me, finally. It was a long and dark period with extremely crippling anxiety. Ironically, what helped most was to stop trying so hard to get better, but not letting myself go either. A very tricky balance to achieve that mainly hinges on your ability to talk to yourself in a kind, encouraging way. As someone who has an avid aversion to advice that seems to be superficial feel-good fluff I rejected the "be kind to yourself" concept for a while. Which, I realize, was my inner bully hijacking my logical brain making me believe I was doing something "right" by being cynical and unforgiving with myself.

Pretty good. Very happy with my job - not that previous ones were terrible, there were ups and downs, but current one comes very close to the peak. Otherwise got mostly enough of everything else I need.

There is a lot of doomerism nowadays about recession, AI supremacy, etc. but I don't listen to it too much for now while doing my thing to adapt. Limiting exposure to typical news outlets does wonders.

You?

Good for like 10-15 days then I crash for like 2-5 days. The worst crash lasted almost two months.

Not sure what to do different.

The crashes are the worst because I get nothing done. Work/exercise/chores/etc. I just have zero motivation. I don’t even go outside.

Somehow that goes away and then for the next 10-15 days it’s crunch mode making up the lost time and then putting out like 5x the work I normally do. I’ll be more social my apartment will be super clean and organized. I’ll cook at home and dance even to music lmao. But then it all halts and it’s over and I’m just feeling like an earthworm who wants to burrow.

Please don't do that. You are valuable, even if you can't feel it right now.

You're very welcome to email hn@ycombinator.com if there might be anything we can do to help.