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Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
21–30 of 371 posts
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#22Go somewhere every week at the same time.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#23> "Researchers also find that when we develop groups, our friendships are more sustainable than they are with individuals. Because there's multiple touch points now, right? Someone else in the group could reach out to all of us, and then we all keep in touch." This is the most important tip in the article, in my experience. When I lived in SF, most of my friend hangs were 1-on-1 catchups over coffee or lunch. Schedul…
Would encourage still prioritizing 1:1 time with close friends. Even if that means traveling. It's a different experience, though I agree introducing friends to other friends is usually a pleasure.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#24What about those of us who have always struggled to make friends, even when we were kids? Are we uncool?
Yes, yes you are uncool. You are probably a nerd who likes to talk about topics of interest, rather than people and social matters.
Nerds are much more interesting, really. They’ve spent enough time on things they are obsessed about to have something to discuss. It’s not all “kids, schooling, housing, weather”. My favourite thing is to meet a nerd with an obsession outside of my own, as there is so much to learn.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#25> "Researchers also find that when we develop groups, our friendships are more sustainable than they are with individuals. Because there's multiple touch points now, right? Someone else in the group could reach out to all of us, and then we all keep in touch." This is the most important tip in the article, in my experience. When I lived in SF, most of my friend hangs were 1-on-1 catchups over coffee or lunch. Schedul…
I hate hanging out in groups and almost exclusively do 1:1. I have no problem talking to my friends for hours on end, it never feels like a chore and I always makes time. Your experience reads quite strangely to me. Even if there is nothing new to talk about, spending time with friends is rewarding in itself.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#26I have no friends. I moved again in the last year. I have my brother, my parents, and my wife. It’s really hard to make good quality friends. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered right now to invest that kind of time and effort. I hope that changes one day, but at this rate I’ll probably make friends among the parents of my kids friends one day. I just have other priorities now. I’m content, and I have a solid marriage.…
Go to meetup.com. Find a weekly meetup in your area that matches one of your interests (or start one). Go to that meetup every week. Within a couple months you'll be friends with the regulars. I've done this in two cities and I'm still long distance friends with the people I met in the first city. It only takes a couple hours per week and for your mental health you should be getting out for social activities anyway.…
Where do you live? I’ve always seen people rave about meetup but most of the time when I’ve downloaded it’s filled mostly with scammy crap (MLM groups and similar business schemes), “entrepreneurs” trying to “network” and hyper specific demographic groups (40+ singles hiking group or whatever)
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#27Actually, I am cool.... so cool that nobody has realized it yet
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#28> "Researchers also find that when we develop groups, our friendships are more sustainable than they are with individuals. Because there's multiple touch points now, right? Someone else in the group could reach out to all of us, and then we all keep in touch." This is the most important tip in the article, in my experience. When I lived in SF, most of my friend hangs were 1-on-1 catchups over coffee or lunch. Schedul…
Thats an interesting take. I prefer 1:1 type of events, or maybe a small group. I just find it easier to hold a conversation that way. I don’t have too many friends, so the time factor is not an issue for me.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#29> "Researchers also find that when we develop groups, our friendships are more sustainable than they are with individuals. Because there's multiple touch points now, right? Someone else in the group could reach out to all of us, and then we all keep in touch." This is the most important tip in the article, in my experience. When I lived in SF, most of my friend hangs were 1-on-1 catchups over coffee or lunch. Schedul…
I hate hanging out in groups and almost exclusively do 1:1. I have no problem talking to my friends for hours on end, it never feels like a chore and I always makes time. Your experience reads quite strangely to me. Even if there is nothing new to talk about, spending time with friends is rewarding in itself.
I don’t think they were saying that the 1:1 time itself was a chore, so much as the logistics behind them. I completely agree.
Another nice thing about group hangouts is that not everyone needs to be there so it makes scheduling a lot simpler.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#30I have no friends. I moved again in the last year. I have my brother, my parents, and my wife. It’s really hard to make good quality friends. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered right now to invest that kind of time and effort. I hope that changes one day, but at this rate I’ll probably make friends among the parents of my kids friends one day. I just have other priorities now. I’m content, and I have a solid marriage.…
Go to meetup.com. Find a weekly meetup in your area that matches one of your interests (or start one). Go to that meetup every week. Within a couple months you'll be friends with the regulars. I've done this in two cities and I'm still long distance friends with the people I met in the first city. It only takes a couple hours per week and for your mental health you should be getting out for social activities anyway.…
A while back my partner and I went out on a hike. We passed a group of people and one of them continued on with us. We were confused why she stuck with us, but tried to be friendly anyway. After a while we realized that it was a meetup group, and the lady thought we were just part of it.