I’m moderately certain I’m also uncool.
The definition of 'cool' changes dramatically as you get older. Most of the 'cool kids' from my highschool aren't what you'd call 'cool' now.
Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
11–20 of 371 posts
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#12I have no friends. I moved again in the last year. I have my brother, my parents, and my wife.
It’s really hard to make good quality friends. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered right now to invest that kind of time and effort.
I hope that changes one day, but at this rate I’ll probably make friends among the parents of my kids friends one day. I just have other priorities now. I’m content, and I have a solid marriage. It’s fine for now.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#13It really isn’t hard. Everyone is so devoid of human contact, if you’re willing to put 6 months of effort you can do it
Edit: you really only need to find one, maybe two people and be okay just pushing it by asking people to do stuff. You'd be surprised how willing people are to do anything. Just start asking. It's also hard bc we (in america) design our cities very poorly
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#14> continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability
So... become a regular at local restaurants, random coffee shops, bars, clubs, farmer's markets, parks, hiking trails, start a band, volunteer somewhere, join a gym, travel, etc.
In other words, get out more?
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#15I’m moderately certain I’m also uncool.
The definition of 'cool' changes dramatically as you get older. Most of the 'cool kids' from my highschool aren't what you'd call 'cool' now.
"I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!"
- Grandpa Simpson
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#16I have no friends. I moved again in the last year. I have my brother, my parents, and my wife. It’s really hard to make good quality friends. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered right now to invest that kind of time and effort. I hope that changes one day, but at this rate I’ll probably make friends among the parents of my kids friends one day. I just have other priorities now. I’m content, and I have a solid marriage.…
Go to meetup.com. Find a weekly meetup in your area that matches one of your interests (or start one). Go to that meetup every week. Within a couple months you'll be friends with the regulars. I've done this in two cities and I'm still long distance friends with the people I met in the first city. It only takes a couple hours per week and for your mental health you should be getting out for social activities anyway. Go do it now, you'll be happy that you did.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#17Some people are just uncool though
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#18What about those of us who have always struggled to make friends, even when we were kids? Are we uncool?
Maybe the other kids were just too below you.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#19I have no friends. I moved again in the last year. I have my brother, my parents, and my wife. It’s really hard to make good quality friends. Honestly, I couldn’t be bothered right now to invest that kind of time and effort. I hope that changes one day, but at this rate I’ll probably make friends among the parents of my kids friends one day. I just have other priorities now. I’m content, and I have a solid marriage.…
I'm happier with way fewer friends. Being an adult and not being forced to interact with people who don't share much in common with me significantly improved my life.
Re: Making friends as an adult is hard (2021)
#20[dead]