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Why don’t more people live close to friends?

annehelen.substack.com

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Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#2
A somewhat modern feeling I have is also that it’s hard to make close friends as an adult. There’s less willingness to interact with strangers or even the possible idea of having a good interaction with someone that’s a stranger.

I think that would also help alleviate the problem significantly is if we were able to meet people in safe spaces somewhat randomly without people feeling like it’s an affront or something

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#3
I have also fantasized about this recently. I also think it'd be great to live near people who are having children at the same time as I am having children. It seems pretty hard to coordinate however. I just bought a condo and my friends are still renting. That basically puts us in different zipcodes by default. As well housing is so touch (in the US) that when you find a good deal you're unlikely to move, even if you'd be closer to friends.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#5
Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going.

> Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the potential joys of a physically closer network.

My family was close friends with our neighbors, because they were neighbors. Many of my friends were close with their neighbors. I imagine it was far more true in the 50s and 60s. It certainly was based off personal anecdotes I’ve heard from the let friends and relatives.

It was a city block in a small/medium sized city. Neighborhood picnics, barbecues, kids running around. Perhaps this breaks down with more urbanization.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#6
I personally live in the same zip code as my company’s water coolers. That’s where elders (C suite) say best collaboration and creativity (TM) happen and they won’t let me go remote. All my friends are disbursed all over the country located at the zip codes their company’s water coolers are at (read: remote work is not the norm). Some lucky ones are remote and they’re able to live in places that are best for them (near family, good surf etc).

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#7

Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…

> Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this?

you don't get to choose your neighbors...

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#8

Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…

> being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this

Being friends with neighbours prioritises the home by making social interactions subservient to it. Being neighbours with your friends prioritises those people by deprecating where you live to it. There isn't a single answer. But speaking as someone with many acquaintances, including very good ones, but a handful of close friends (and maybe a dozen or two, at most, friend friends), it's easier to change where you live than whom you love.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#9

Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…

sounds like a product of both the place and time.

and most importantly, the people.

you can try to make friends with neighbors, but you can’t make neighbors be friends.

it isn’t always such a positive combination.

but sometimes it is.

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