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I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

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Re: I’ve been single all my life

#351

Post by watwut »

dekhn wrote: post #125
maxbond wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women are not baby machines or objects of beauty, they're people. Their "greatest value" is whatever they decide it to be. They should form relationships in the way that brings them the most happiness. Reducing women to objects of beauty, saying their value comes from their fertility, and implying that if they disagree with that assessment it's because they're too emotional is almost the dictionary definition of miso…

I think I understand the point you're trying to make, but this is the sort of discussion board where many people are literalists. Women literally are baby machines: from the perspective of biology, and as a critical asset in the development of the human race (especially during times of high child mortality). People get upset when you point this out, but they don't get upset because it's the truth, they get upset beca…

This is not being literalist or objective. That is having very specific ideological opinion about value and purpose of women. As in, nothing about us matters except our ability to have babies.

This would be like saying that men are nothing but insemination machines. And yet, analysis of what men want or do on this forum is way more complex, because men are actually more then that.

From the perspective of biology, all that non-baby related aspirations and wants are also part of our biology. You are ignoring them because of ideology, not because women would lack these for biological reasons.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#352

Post by karpierz »

trashface wrote: post #276
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

Introversion has drastically different effects for men and women in the dating market. An introverted woman will still get approached by men, so even if she intentionally opts out of dating, she can always opt back in pretty much on the fly if a guy she likes approaches her. So she will still get relationships, if she wants them. Introverted men, on the other hand, often just don't pursue women, especially if they ha…

Interesting, I hadn't heard about research into how introversion affects dating outcomes.

Can you post the sources you're relying on here? I want to read more on this.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#353

Post by shrimp_emoji »

vjerancrnjak wrote: post #315
amelius wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "Introversion is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from one's own mental life". If this is true, then why do we find so many introverts in online forums?

That sentence does sound weird. Obtaining gratification from one's own mental life in a significant way, that you do not desire to communicate with others, or that you only like communicating through text where you are free to imagine the personalities of the people you're chatting with, should mean one probably suffers from a personality disorder (paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal etc.). If you were to have a partner…

> should mean one probably suffers from a personality disorder (paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal etc.).

It does not.

> If you were to have a partner where you still primarily obtain gratification from your own mental life, I can't imagine how this partner could feel any love from you, if your priority is to be alone with your dreams most of the time.

Exactly ;)

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#354

Post by mcv »

fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

Introvert is not the same thing as celibate, but completely orthogonal to it. Lots of introverts are happily married, sometimes even to extraverts!

The word he's searching for could also be "asexual". It's recently been added to the increasingly cumbersome LGBTQIA abbreviation, so it's good it's getting some more attention.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#355

Post by shrimp_emoji »

joeyfranklin wrote: post #246
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

> So my advice to Rosenstock would be to seek another dedicated introvert. With respect; why? 40 years ago the future looked very different. None of you felt urgency regarding global warming, faced the same cost of living fiasco, spread of drought, fire, mass migrations, political instability, and whatever conspiracy driven idiocy social media will unleash next. There is no divine mandate humanity carry on a particul…

> faced the same cost of living fiasco

It seems like many people get into relationships for financial reasons, so this should be a motivator if anything.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#356

Post by mcv »

trashface wrote: post #276
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

Introversion has drastically different effects for men and women in the dating market. An introverted woman will still get approached by men, so even if she intentionally opts out of dating, she can always opt back in pretty much on the fly if a guy she likes approaches her. So she will still get relationships, if she wants them. Introverted men, on the other hand, often just don't pursue women, especially if they ha…

The solution is of course for women to take that first step more often. Both my wife and my mother took the first step.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#357

Post by qikInNdOutReply »

dunefox wrote: post #319
bingobongodude wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>He lives in Germany too, where it takes way more effort to turn an incidental encounter into something more. Hogwash. You are used to a different culture is all. As a German it does not take more effort to turn an encounter into "something more", you are just not used to the customs.

As a German it's definitely true. It's got nothing to do with the customs.

Germany is a labour camp, decorated as a country.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#358

Post by dublinben »

throwntoday wrote: post #316
selcuka wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Given that the divorce rate in my community is less than 1% we're probably doing something right. FYI the divorce rate worldwide is less than 1% (it's actually much lower, around 0.4%).

We live in the US, where the success of a marriage is closer to a coin toss. It's pretty abaurd to try to take the average from across the world in this case.

The simple average hides a lot of differences between demographic groups. If you’re college educated, earn a higher income, white or Asian, and get married later, then your chances of success are much higher than 50/50.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#359

Post by rchaud »

mcv wrote: post #354
fernly wrote: post #99

I think the word that Rosenstock was searching for, was "Introvert"[1]. I'm an introvert who had the good fortune to marry another introvert, and live contentedly with her for 40+ years. Following her death a few years ago I reflected on the differences between being part of a couple, and being solitary. There were many. Health maintenance was one; somebody else in this thread has already commented on married men liv…

Introvert is not the same thing as celibate, but completely orthogonal to it. Lots of introverts are happily married, sometimes even to extraverts! The word he's searching for could also be "asexual". It's recently been added to the increasingly cumbersome LGBTQIA abbreviation, so it's good it's getting some more attention.

Yes, "asexual" is the feeling I got from reading the article. He says that his blog posts almost never mention a partner. But even this post, specifically about relationships, failed to mention a single potential partner. That to me says he just may not be interested enough.
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