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I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

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Re: I’ve been single all my life

#21

Post by sva_ »

bradfitz wrote: post #4
all2 wrote: post #2

Archive link for those who are having issues getting the article to load: https://web.archive.org/web/20230410132952/https://lukasrose... --- [edit for commentary] I was like the author, except I have had a burning desire to have family and children since I was a boy. I started thinking about fatherhood when I was maybe 12. After a failed long term relationship, and three or four girlfriends I finally settled with th…

The origin webserver might also be single... threaded.

A single thread on a not-ancient system should have no problem serving the amount of requests this page is probably facing, given efficient code.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#23

Post by [deleted] »

Traubenfuchs wrote: post #15

As an unhappy single with two past relationships, lots of experience in many crazy things including most drugs, let me tell you that times where you truly love someone while knowing they truly love you back, in other words true mutual love, are probably the most beautiful times in the world one can experience: Holding someone in your arms wishing you‘d die right then and there because you know you have peaked in non-…

[deleted]

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#24

Post by ryanwaggoner »

GalenErso wrote: post #18

You're not alone (pun intended). Record numbers of Americans, men and women alike, are single. > Nearly 118 million Americans, or about 46% of those over 18 years old, are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But that percent is actually much higher for women—a record-breaking 52% of them are unmarried or separated as of 2021, according to a recent report from Wells Fargo Economics. https://fortune.com/2023/0…

Does that article use “single” to mean someone who isn’t married? Because that leaves out a lot of partnered people.

Pew reports 31% of Americans are unpartnered, and of those, half are looking and half aren’t: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profi...

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#25

Post by kube-system »

> The obvious course of action when you are unsure about something is experimentation. However, a relationship isn’t an activity (like a job, hobby, or sport) to try and quit when you don’t like it. It requires two people, and you must find a second person willing to try. Finding someone is hard, though. This brings me back to what I said a few paragraphs ago; I don’t see myself ready to invest much in something I’m not even sure I want. Also, if it doesn’t work out, I’m scared of leaving a broken heart in another person.

It doesn't have to be this way to start out. A relationship can be something that happens as a result of a friendship. It doesn't have to be an expectation from the moment you first meet someone. Take things slow, and you'll have a minimum amount of investment and a minimum risk of broken hearts. Don't think of it as "starting a relationship", think of it as "meeting new people". A relationship isn't something you choose, it's something that sometimes happens if the right circumstances align. If it is the right thing for you, the time and emotional investment will come naturally.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#26

Post by CoolioMqSo »

I felt like I had to say this

FYI This guy isn't ugly, actually average looking 30yr old white guy, isn't short, is socially active. I honestly have no idea why this guy is still a virgin, im pretty sure he could find someone on a dating app if he got in shape.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#27

Post by passion__desire »

Invictus0 wrote: post #6

People that choose to live primarily in the world of logic and reason sometimes forget to nurture their emotions and feelings, and that side of them can atrophy. I suspect this guy has hidden and suppressed his desires due to some fears about relationships.

Or maybe he doesn't see emotions just as Aphantasia people don't see images in the mind. As Temple Grandin would say, "The world needs all kinds of minds."

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#28

Post by throwbadubadu »

schizo89 wrote: post #12

There is something fundamentally wrong with this world, obviously. I'm standing the same stance for lat 8 years.

Agreed, there is a lot wrong with this world ;) But what do you mean or how relating to the article? That you are in that stance? Or expectations of others? Please explain.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#29

Post by zokier »

GalenErso wrote: post #18

You're not alone (pun intended). Record numbers of Americans, men and women alike, are single. > Nearly 118 million Americans, or about 46% of those over 18 years old, are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But that percent is actually much higher for women—a record-breaking 52% of them are unmarried or separated as of 2021, according to a recent report from Wells Fargo Economics. https://fortune.com/2023/0…

"single" and "unmarried or separated" are very different things?!

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#30

Post by amin »

gtop3 wrote: post #14

Bella DePaulo is probably the leading scholar on the social prejudice and discrimination on single individuals. The fact that the author of the article introduces the term "incel" to deal with this extremely negative stereotype in the second paragraph highlights this prejudice. If you're interested in learning more about the ways single individuals are treated unfairly in society, Dr. DePaulo has many articles and bo…

Any chance you could summarize the prejudice single people experience? I believe you, but it coul save hundreds of people from googling it individually.
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