191–200 of 249 posts
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I am a Founder / CEO / Serial Entrepreneur
Hard pass.
When I did my PhD I hated it when (most) people asked about my research. It's not because I wasn't interested, it's because I'm really interested and was (still am) bad at giving concise summaries, so I felt like people who really didn't care and wouldn't listen to the answer were asking me to embark on a long explanation that required a bunch of preamble etc, just in order to make conversation. Anyway, I feel largel…
I try play a game when i meet a new person: see how long i can go without discussing work with them. The best new connections tend to take the longest to reach work, it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter and like you said just an attempt to size up our social status.
My favorite party game is getting couples to explain what each other does for a living. Not just the title, but the actual day-to-day job. You'd be surprised how many people don't really know what their partner does all day long.
I stopped doing this when a person here in Amsterdam bluntly responded: "You Americans! That's all you ever talk about is work!" Haven't asked anybody an open-ended "So what do you do" in the five years since, and it feels refreshing.
What do they talk about instead?
If that's work for you, that's work for you. It's not for everyone.
If you're not proud of what you do for most of the time - I'm sorry. That sounds like a really horrific, genuinely awful place to be in.
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I try play a game when i meet a new person: see how long i can go without discussing work with them. The best new connections tend to take the longest to reach work, it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter and like you said just an attempt to size up our social status.
> it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter But this is fine, no? If it helps start a more enjoyable discussion afterwards. When you don't know the ones you are speaking with at all. Though I indeed avoid focusing on work when starting a conversation. I usually try to phrase the question as "What do you do in your life?", which is more general and allows answering hobbies. I'm more interested in what people…
Asking these is always intrusive, you might not think so if you are fully comfortable talking about what you do or where you're from etc, but that's not all people.
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> it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter But this is fine, no? If it helps start a more enjoyable discussion afterwards. When you don't know the ones you are speaking with at all. Though I indeed avoid focusing on work when starting a conversation. I usually try to phrase the question as "What do you do in your life?", which is more general and allows answering hobbies. I'm more interested in what people…
I don't see a point of any questions like that, and somehow I always find things to talk about in a social setting. Stuff they do, place they were born etc can always enter a conversation if relevant, or not if they don't want to talk about that. Asking these is always intrusive, you might not think so if you are fully comfortable talking about what you do or where you're from etc, but that's not all people.
it's a discussion starter. The point is to start the discussion. It often works.
> Asking these is always intrusive, you might not think so if you are fully comfortable talking about what you do or where you're from etc, but that's not all people.
Ok, that's another argument than "it's lazy". I can see it, especially when people are unemployed, they often feel ashamed.
On the other hand, isn't it a risk with any personal question? Aren't people used to handle these questions anyway?
(I otherwise agree that asking about the job is not the best thing to do anyway)
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I ruin my health and drain my soul by sitting in a chair all day for $200k a year. Not recommended.
Beats ruining your health and draining your soul by lifting heavy stuff at a construction site all day for $50k a year.
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In my (at this time very long) experience people don't know what a programmer does, unless they're programmers themselves. In fact, whatever I say about my work ("programmer", "data processing", "computer-based analysis", "(whatever)" they really have no idea anyway. It's much easier to answer "I'm a carpenter".
In my experience, anything computers related = "IT guy" or "Computer Guy" I think it's better to state the field you're in rather than your job title. For example, if you work for a bank, say "finance".
Secondly, when i tell people that i am a technologist, it almost feels like one of those groupings of jobs like "doctor", "architect", "lawyer", etc. Sure, maybe that's more for my ego, but who cares. ;-)