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A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

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Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#51

Post by sklipo »

yelsgib wrote: post #50

I guess this comment is going to be pretty unpopular, given the comments that most have left before it, but I find this post creepy in the extreme. For one thing, it's naive. Any attempt to assert that "X is entirely my fault" is naive. How can you eliminate the impact of your circumstances? For instance, you're here in 2012, working in San Francisco - one of the most exciting times/places ever. For another, it's hap…

I mostly agree with what you're saying, but I also mostly agree with what the post is saying.

The point is that you can learn to control your reactions to things, and it's a good thing. I used to be extremely stressed out by any social situation. I eventually stopped being so through lots of practice at controlling myself and telling myself "who cares what other people think of me?". And I'm all the better for it. I also have learned to ignore insults and failure (well, ignore them emotionally, though I still try to analyze them rationally), because they give negative emotions that I don't enjoy. However, I still feel nostalgia when I realize "oh shit, that happened seven years ago?!!", and I still feel a rush of excitement when I succeed at getting everything done in a limited amount of time.

Also, the fact that I'm a tiny speck in the universe is the reason I focus on myself. If nothing really matters, you get to choose what does. And I choose myself.

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#52

Post by anamax »

ilaksh wrote: post #40
paganel wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We should not expect people who have been shot to make jokes or to be happy. We should expect them to save their energy for recovering from their wounds. The trick is that there are times when getting shot at is the norm, not the exception, so "healing wounds" or however you might want to call it is not the best decision to take (not even from an utilitarian point of view). Ok, so now that I know that I suck at met…

Thanks for that perspective. You're probably right, this relative prosperity is more of an exception. I guess I would like to believe that things can improve significantly so as to make that type of pragmatic attitude adjustment towards misery less important.

> I guess I would like to believe that things can improve significantly so as to make that type of pragmatic attitude adjustment towards misery less important.

Something is always going to go relatively wrong, so being able to deal with it seems like a good idea.

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#53

Post by econnors »

ChuckMcM wrote: post #15

This is something I tried very hard to teach my kids, basically that everyone gets to choose how they are going to feel about something, and understanding what set of conditions lead up to the choice you made can help you understand yourself and the world around you. The typical kid complaint is that someone 'makes fun' of something that they are passionate about and that makes them feel 'bad' (ashamed, angry, annoye…

Ronald Reagan made similar remarks in the hospital after he was shot. It's always impressed me how he could retain control of his emotions at such a horrible time:

"...when his wife arrived in the emergency room, Reagan remarked to her, 'Honey, I forgot to duck'... While intubated, he scribbled to a nurse, "All in all, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reagan_assassination_attempt

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#54

Post by AznHisoka »

ilaksh wrote: post #13

Both the Jobs quote and the Csikszentmihalyi quote are stimulating and useful perspectives on the same general topic, but Taby seems to be thinking rather fuzzily by relating the quotes and ideas so closely. Csikszentmihalyi is saying that happiness is an inner, private cultivation that is not dependent on outside events. However, Steve Jobs, one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet (while he was alive)…

I agree on the Steve Jobs quote."Live everyday as if it was your last".. ok.. but what if I'm stuck with debt, have to work a dead end job to support my family? What if I can't? I'm doing it wrong? I have to be disgruntled about it? It's easy as heck to live everyday as if it was your last once you have the freedom.

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#55

Post by SteveJS »

yelsgib wrote: post #50

I guess this comment is going to be pretty unpopular, given the comments that most have left before it, but I find this post creepy in the extreme. For one thing, it's naive. Any attempt to assert that "X is entirely my fault" is naive. How can you eliminate the impact of your circumstances? For instance, you're here in 2012, working in San Francisco - one of the most exciting times/places ever. For another, it's hap…

There is a mature aspect to this sentiment, even if it is not expressed in this particular post.

For a counter to your argument see Viktor Frankl:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#56

Post by jneen »

mdoerneman wrote: post #18
jneen wrote: post #5

""" Spending 2 years doing something you don’t enjoy is a full 3.4% of your life. What are you getting back for that investment? Money? What are you going to do with that money that will be worth the non-refundable 3.4% of your life? An extra room in your house?""" This is beautiful. In a world where everything has to be justified by "the bottom line", it's easy to forget why we're making money. Along those lines, I…

I was inspired and agree with most of this article but when I got to these last few lines I thought, "Sure, I am getting money back for my investment, but that money is supporting my family - putting food on the table, gas in the car and a roof over our heads". That's not a bad investment. It's very hard to drop everything and seek what it is that makes you happy when you have a family depending on you.

Well said. That's why I emphasized remembering why we're making money.

If I'm bootstrapping a company, for example, I can do it because I want to make a lot of money, or I can do it because I want to support my family. It's just a difference of emphasis really, but an important one.

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#57

Post by MetaMan »

phreanix wrote: post #44
kenrik wrote: post #4

This reminds me of "Think and Grow Rich" - Best book ever written. I cant even remember how many times I have read it. If I could I would purchase a million copies and give them away for free. It's that good.

It's actually free in the itunes bookstore.

can you provide a link. I found 2 books with the same title and neither is free.

Thanks

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#58

Post by stretchwithme »

stephth wrote: post #42
ChuckMcM wrote: post #15

This is something I tried very hard to teach my kids, basically that everyone gets to choose how they are going to feel about something, and understanding what set of conditions lead up to the choice you made can help you understand yourself and the world around you. The typical kid complaint is that someone 'makes fun' of something that they are passionate about and that makes them feel 'bad' (ashamed, angry, annoye…

That being said, its never easy. Emotions never are. Emotions do seem to have a life of their own. They seem like the results of deep and unknown mechanisms that I unfortunately have no control on. The best I can do is know myself better and manage that. For example, stress is an issue, and the only way I seem to be able to decrease my stress is to avoid stressful situations (for example avoiding too much work/respon…

I would say yes. You may discover that emotions have their roots in our attachments to things.

For example, decide that a venture or relationship is going to turn out a certain way, and you are beginning to form an attachment to that outcome. And you increase the chances you may be disappointed.

But, let things develop into whatever they will develop into and you are open to and can thus recognize many good things.

And you are more likely to experience things (this is called life) instead of fixating on some future dubious outcome, which probably is the best outcome for you anyway. Because you can't imagine the best outcome.

Anyway, I'd check out The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Its a bit too religious for my taste but his insights into how this stuff works and mediation are very useful.

Re: A Moment of Clarity in the Pursuit of Happiness

#59

Post by jtaby »

yelsgib wrote: post #50

I guess this comment is going to be pretty unpopular, given the comments that most have left before it, but I find this post creepy in the extreme. For one thing, it's naive. Any attempt to assert that "X is entirely my fault" is naive. How can you eliminate the impact of your circumstances? For instance, you're here in 2012, working in San Francisco - one of the most exciting times/places ever. For another, it's hap…

Thanks a lot for your comment, disagreement males you question your assumptions and strengthens your understanding of the issue.

Is there a body of research that supports your counter-claims? I'd love to read anything you can point me to.

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