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‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

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Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#11

Post by abledon »

walterbell wrote: post #6
brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

Short (25m) wordless art film, https://nbhap.com/sounds/the-national-mike-mills-i-am-easy-t... > We are born, we live and then we all die. And in-between a lot of spectacular things can happen. Or maybe not. Sounds harsh when you put it like this, right? But there’s an undeniable and for many people uncomfortable truth in this and I Am Easy To Find is a film that transports that feeling pretty well.

well that was sad lol, need a sadhguru palette cleanser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5x_XbIkVmg

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#13

Post by carapace »

brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

It's a bit rough, maybe, but this old Buddhist story helped me:

The family had finished the new house and went to the monk to get a scroll to sanctify the hearth. The monk worked for some time, and then called the family to see the scroll he had written. It said:

    Grandfather dies
    Father dies
    Son dies
    Grandson dies
The family were taken aback, and asked the monk to try again. He called them back the next day and said, "I tried every combination of the verses, and this is the best order."

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#14

Post by dazc »

brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

You will cope with it better than you currently think you will. It could be still a long way off though, so make the most of the time that remains.

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#15

Post by chaostheory »

Since we’re on the subject of brain cancer, what’s the status of several potential cures for cancer? This is one of them

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/promising-duke-university-polio...

https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/poliovirus-therapy-sho...

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#16

Post by joshcanhelp »

brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

I had none of that anxiety when my mom had a stroke last year. She survived but lost a lot of her capacity to speak and will to live. It’s been devastating but I’ve had a chance to spend time with her and tell her things I never thought I needed to say.

If I had to give some advice, I would say the most important thing to do now is to make sure that they are prepared for the administrative side of major health events and death. Power of attorney, wills, passwords, keys, etc. Having to push through a bunch of paperwork while grieving was a really tough experience.

I would also recommend starting to think about it happening now so you can make good choices about how you spend your time. If you’re actively avoiding the subject in your head then it will be a much bigger hit when it inevitably happens.

Grief and loss is universal but also very personal. It’s very hard to go through but you grow a lot, personally, if you let it happen. I wrote about my experience with my mom’s stroke below. If it’s not too heavy, there might be something helpful in there for you.

https://www.joshcanhelp.com/stroke/

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#18

Post by A4ET8a8uTh0 »

walterbell wrote: post #6
brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

Short (25m) wordless art film, https://nbhap.com/sounds/the-national-mike-mills-i-am-easy-t... > We are born, we live and then we all die. And in-between a lot of spectacular things can happen. Or maybe not. Sounds harsh when you put it like this, right? But there’s an undeniable and for many people uncomfortable truth in this and I Am Easy To Find is a film that transports that feeling pretty well.

“There was a man and he had eight sons. Apart from that, he was nothing more than a comma on the page of History. It's sad, but that's all you can say about some people.”[1]

[1]https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/62360-sourcery

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#19

Post by q7xvh97o2pDhNrh »

A4ET8a8uTh0 wrote: post #18
walterbell wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Short (25m) wordless art film, https://nbhap.com/sounds/the-national-mike-mills-i-am-easy-t... > We are born, we live and then we all die. And in-between a lot of spectacular things can happen. Or maybe not. Sounds harsh when you put it like this, right? But there’s an undeniable and for many people uncomfortable truth in this and I Am Easy To Find is a film that transports that feeling pretty well.

“There was a man and he had eight sons. Apart from that, he was nothing more than a comma on the page of History. It's sad, but that's all you can say about some people.”[1] [1] https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/62360-sourcery

From Darwin's perspective, though, that's basically the exact opposite of "sad."

Re: ‘Preparing to die has a lot to do with having had a good life’

#20

Post by Buttons840 »

brianjking wrote: post #2

This article seems like something I should read, but I'm not sure if I want to. As someone with parents and inlaws who are in their early to mid 70s and quite worried about losing them, I'm not sure if I'm ready to read this. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the pre-loss anxiety?

I was raised in a religion and I'm considering returning to it. It gave me peace, and although I know I may be deluding myself, I like the effects. I think I can hold both views in myself, this religion serves me, but it may be wrong and I understand it doesn't serve everyone and it's okay if others choose other religions or no religion. I will also be much more hesitant to give money to my religion.

So far it has helped with death anxiety. No atheists in foxholes, none of us are getting out of this alive, etc.

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