221–230 of 267 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
And yet, there’s plenty room to improve - especially for fathers.
I find it interesting that you feel the need to say that. At probably no point in US history are fathers spending more time with their kids than today. And yet our parenting culture is so toxic that we still feel the need to tell parents they aren't doing a good enough job.
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I appreciate that you still support choice in work location, a lot of people (see amazon/twitter/apple ceo's) do not. I think that is critical here. Some people, or groups work better in person, those teams should decide that.
I wouldn't say remote work is morally superior, but it can reduce carbon emissions by truncating commutes and potentially allowing conversion of downtown office buildings into housing. But I'm sure there's caveats here enough to drive a freight train through.
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I have four kids. The oldest was born in 2014, and since late 2016 I've spent an enormous amount of time working from home as a graduate student and as a professional during COVID. But our oldest kid recently expressed that I don't spend enough time with her.
At first I thought, "Seriously? I've spent more time with my kids than literally any father I know, eating three meals per day with them, taking them for walks and to the playground or to appointments during the day, changing more than half the diapers, etc." But then I realized that from her perspective, she mostly saw me looking at my laptop and heard me saying "I'm trying to work, I can't do X right now." If I were out-of-sight, out-of-mind, when working and she only saw me for the two hours per day when I wasn't working, she might have a more positive opinion of our relationship.
And, yes, the reasons I like working from home are precisely because, as you said, it helps me cope with all the other problems related to housing and commuting.
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
Even if we fixed all of the above, changing jobs would still require uprooting your family. In an era where you worked for one company for life it made sense. Today I don't think it's feasible.
1. There can still be many companies in an area with lots of close by housing such that you’re not tied to a single job.
2. I moved cross-country several times while my kids were young and it didn’t bother them at all.
3. I’m mindful of staying settled for a while now that my kids are getting older and forming real friendships. But this is like a 10-year window of time, not an entire career.
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I’ve never really understood this “lack of separation” argument. Are your children at home all day long? If not, the only way it would seem like you’re “always working” is if you were working outside of normal business hours. Which is something that would still happen if you were at an office all day, wouldn’t it? If not, why not? Because your day ends when you leave the office? Why not just make your WFH day end at some similar cutoff point? Why does working at home make that less possible?
If your kids do stay home all day, one way to look at it is that yeah, it seems like you’re always working, but that beats “always at the office” doesn’t it?
I will offer a contrarian take, not because I think anyone else in the thread is wrong, but because I think there’s more than one opinion here, and it’s not showing in the comments. I have multiple children, and I hate (ok, strongly dislike) working remotely. I dislike the lack of separation between home and work, and how it makes my children feel like I’m “always working.” I love the high-bandwidth communication and…
I think when people say "I hate the office" they (I include myself) use that term to talk about everything the office implies (e.g., commute time). I'm 100% pro work from wherever fits you best. That being said, if the company I'm working for puts an office 5 minutes away from my home on foot, then I will definitely visit it a couple of times per week... but that's just impossible, hence, I hate the office.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Using "privilege", with its connotation of inherited wealth, and applying it to a profession that pays well above average but is open to anyone--the opposite of inherited wealth--is kind of rhetorically dishonest. Disingenuous at best. It's also out of context, which was that two tech parents were discussing having time for family. There's a strong correlation between expensive homes near tech campuses and tech jobs…
> a profession that pays well above average but is open to anyone--the opposite of inherited wealth Technically, you need to inherit the genes that allow you to do this kind of profession successfully.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc To spell the quiet part out loud here, what you're describing is an extreme privilege in a world where homes near tech campuses often go for $1M+. New fathers aren't going to have a down payment for even $600k+. Tech at this point starts as a rich persons game which is why so many tech workers intermarry with other wealthy people. It takes two or a trust fund…
this comment is posted on literally every discussion about money and work on HN. there's always That Guy who points out "won't you think of the people who aren't as x, y, z. don't you know you're privileged! how dare you talk about this!"... this vapid, reflexive concern trolling is tiring and repetitive. so someone will feel bad by reading about your very privileged existence and the fact that you have a job and you…
It sounds like you prefer a conversation to be more tailored to your experience, that is normal. In places like HN, a large portion of people live in their bubble and don't see out of it. Bringing up a more common experience is necessary to put a topic in complete context in some cases or at a minimum expands the field of view, it's not meant to make you feel guilt.
A part of being human is to point out abnormality, and many times it's done without even a thought. I'm not sure why you're having a melt down, just ignore it if it bothers you. Telling people to stop mentioning their experience isn't going to be constructive and people who WANT to guilt trip you can just fuck right off so don't let it get to you.