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Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

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Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#191

Post by danielecook »

pradn wrote: post #188
fatnoah wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, on…

Not having to take care of a home sounds great. I can't imagine the Sisyphean task of mowing a lawn every weekend. At least raking leaves can be a peaceful thing - lour mowers can't be peaceful!

I lived in North Carolina for a summer. From 7am - 9pm everyday you can hear leaf blowers. It’s absolutely ridiculous how loud those machines are.

I later bought an electric blower and lawn mower. They are super quiet. No exhaust. It helps to have a small yard.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#192

Post by vuln »

pradn wrote: post #188
fatnoah wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, on…

Not having to take care of a home sounds great. I can't imagine the Sisyphean task of mowing a lawn every weekend. At least raking leaves can be a peaceful thing - lour mowers can't be peaceful!

Not all mowers are loud and mowing can be quite therapeutic.

Perhaps try a reel mower or an electric mower?

https://www.homedepot.com/b/Outdoors-Outdoor-Power-Equipment...

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#193

Post by musha68k »

Draiken wrote: post #146
tyoma wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve worked at an open office and its nothing alike, at least with young kids. There’s screaming and crying, if your help is needed, it needs to be right now , kids wont take no for an answer, etc. When I was in an open office, people generally kept a reasonable background volume my brain could tune out. As adults, they respected my answers the first time, and certainly no one screamed at me.

My kids didn't scream at me more regularly than coworkers tapped me in the shoulder to talk about random shit or ask questions that could be answered with a single search. Of course everyone's experience will vary, which kind of invalidates the idea that all of this is because of WFH. It depends on your kids, your home/office, your work office, teammates, commute time and so on. My point is that blanket statements li…

I remember the most frustrating usually was coming in extra early so I can get some deep work done and suddenly the whole open office space fills up. People are laughing and trying to get your opinion on the latest Netflix show or worse, something actually interesting.

In-person interaction can be fun and is important for team bonding and meta work communication but it would be so much better to facilitate that explicitly, outside of the work space.

Optimally this would mean 95% remote plus cool getaways together (at minimum, actually fun evenings out).

It’s like with conferences, the most important learning usually happens outside of the premises.

Why not be smart about that fact?

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#194

Post by r2_pilot »

dahfizz wrote: post #159
_ktx2 wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc To spell the quiet part out loud here, what you're describing is an extreme privilege in a world where homes near tech campuses often go for $1M+. New fathers aren't going to have a down payment for even $600k+. Tech at this point starts as a rich persons game which is why so many tech workers intermarry with other wealthy people. It takes two or a trust fund…

The average commute in the USA is under 30 minutes. I have no idea where this idea that everyone commutes 2 hours came from, but its completely ridiculous. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/one-way-...

It's not so ridiculous. Before I had enough work experience to have a job in my local city, I commuted 45 miles/1hr one-way to the next city that actually had tech companies. That was 2 hours commuting total, for 3 years. My roommate climbs cell phone towers. His company is located about 45 minutes to an hour away. Granted, though, he usually only makes the commute once per day then is on the road traveling the rest of the week. Living in the middle of nowhere sucks.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#195

Post by musha68k »

daok wrote: post #149
Draiken wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure maybe having kids around might sometimes affect your productivity, but how is that any different than being in an open office? Phone calls, people talking around you, movement everywhere, unwanted taps on your shoulder and a lot more. Unless your job provides you with a closed office where you can actually focus on, it's pretty much the same as having kids around. When I worked in an office I remember the most p…

Kids are way more disruptive than open space. Depending of the age they are dependent for simple thing like getting a cup of water. Then the list grow fast to get snack or to go to the bathroom. Then it continues by being bored after 10 minutes. I would say that any kid under 10 years old require some supervision. Of course, some children are more independent and trustworthy. However, 8 hours of work with a child or…

Assuming there is only one parent available to look after them.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#196

Post by Nux »

jossclimb wrote: post #12

I have been remote for 11 years now and have two children 9 and 12. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm, we would have lost out on so much bonding time with their daddy being an integral part of their life. I managed to be highly productive, build a career, yet be there for bath times, tucking into bed, school plays / sports days, nursing…

This is the way.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#197

Post by RandallBrown »

ghaff wrote: post #173
teekert wrote: post #36

Damn I love wfh. At some point my manager told me to not express my positive emotions so much because many people hated it, but man I loved it. My wife was studying so she was also at home, with the kids (then 4 and 8). Suddenly I could have breakfast with them, lunch, dinner, go for a walk with the kids and the dog in the middle of the day for an hour. And now I still mostly wfh. Still loving it. Going to office 1-2…

At one point, I had about a 1.5 hr. commute each way on maybe 50% of days on average. Even though I could generally take the train for most of the commute, that just wasn't sustainable long-term. Too much time out of the day.

I moved to one of the farthest flung suburbs of NYC when my wife went to grad school. My best option for work was in Manhattan.

The commute was about 2 hours each way by train with a 5-10 minute walk on both ends. I hoped it might not be that bad, especially working from home a few days a week. Even then it was soul crushing and I only lasted a year.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#198

Post by Wohlf »

pradn wrote: post #188
fatnoah wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, on…

Not having to take care of a home sounds great. I can't imagine the Sisyphean task of mowing a lawn every weekend. At least raking leaves can be a peaceful thing - lour mowers can't be peaceful!

fwiw I'd take lawn mowing over most kitchen cleaning, bathroom cleaning and dusting are worse too but are much less frequent. Vacuuming might be slightly worse as well because I don't have to empty a lawn mower bag unless I chose to put it on. At least you get a guaranteed 3+ month vacation from yard work.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#199

Post by bluedino »

pradn wrote: post #188
fatnoah wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, on…

Not having to take care of a home sounds great. I can't imagine the Sisyphean task of mowing a lawn every weekend. At least raking leaves can be a peaceful thing - lour mowers can't be peaceful!

My kid loves joining me on the riding mower.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#200

Post by bluedino »

Draiken wrote: post #128
tyoma wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve also been working from home and very glad to have been there for my kids when they are young, but highly productive are not two words I’d use to describe the experience. I guess my time management and prioritization skill have improved by necessity, but the lack of uninterrupted quiet time is real.

Sure maybe having kids around might sometimes affect your productivity, but how is that any different than being in an open office? Phone calls, people talking around you, movement everywhere, unwanted taps on your shoulder and a lot more. Unless your job provides you with a closed office where you can actually focus on, it's pretty much the same as having kids around. When I worked in an office I remember the most p…

Depends on your workplace culture. Big companies always seem to have the social butterflies, but a lot of smaller places I've been at are almost always "put your head down and get to work".
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