11–20 of 20 posts
I’ve had the same worry as you at times, but so far I’ve been 15 years into my career as a software engineer and it hasn’t been a problem as far as I know.
> "excitable" or "jolly": This by itself is not a problem unless it is out of context with the rest of the situation. If behavior is out of sync with the situation this can easily be misinterpreted as a lack of understanding.
> seem so calm, composed, and stoic : This can easily be disengagement. So don’t put too much weight on this. Although that’s what corporate culture wants you to be: “uber rational”. Humor as you noted, can easily be construed as lack of control on emotions.
> "showing too much personality" : This can be a stumbling block based on the overall culture of the company and also your direct managers and what their attitudes are. Some won’t care, while for others this might make them insecure. “Deviant” often gets misinterpreted as “defiant”, or as asking for too much attention aka high-maintenance.
> working in/at/for an Organization is partially about "conforming" to the group and being able to fit-in : As much as organizations try to deny this, it’s very much a reality. At the end of the day companies are made up of humans and we are biased. There’s research since the mid 70s that even has a name for how people often get picked for promotions on how well they fit with the overall philosophy that goes unsaid but exists regardless - Implicit Leadership Theory. I riffed on this a bit(link below) that might useful.
https://www.leadingsapiens.com/implicit-leadership-theory-ef...
If you have troubles with self-reflection, interpreting the non-verbal communication of others, or challenged by bias those are problems you will have to learn to solve. Modifying or restricting your personality to compensate will do you harm.
The worksona is a thing. My worksona doesn’t swear or drink, doesn’t have ADHD, doesn’t have any real hobbies outside of work besides home maintenance and travel to blandly popular locations like the beach, and yes, stoically takes in the details of a client need and makes unbiased recommendations. At some jobs, my worksona has been straight, if the situation called for it. For further reading, watch Severance. My re…
Some thoughts: > "excitable" or "jolly": This by itself is not a problem unless it is out of context with the rest of the situation. If behavior is out of sync with the situation this can easily be misinterpreted as a lack of understanding. > seem so calm, composed, and stoic : This can easily be disengagement. So don’t put too much weight on this. Although that’s what corporate culture wants you to be: “uber rationa…
I don’t have an answer to your specific question, but I just want you to know you’re not alone. I’m also quite excitable and love talking not just about technical stuff, but all sorts of things. I’m quick to smile and laugh, and I probably overshare at times (that last one I had to learn to control). I’ve had the same worry as you at times, but so far I’ve been 15 years into my career as a software engineer and it ha…
In industries like tech which have a large percentage of non-neurotypical (not quite sure how to describe it - suggestions?) people, it's fairly common to have a "work" and "home" version of yourself. It's exhausting but necessary. For example, someone who might suffer from depression/anxiety/bipolar or a dozen other conditions will have to look in the mirror and put a smile on before meeting their colleagues each da…
While some people prefer to keep a separate personal and professional identity, I chose to do the opposite and refused to create separate personas. I'm 34 atm, and have been working in industry full-time since I was 20.
Here's a few observations from my own experiences here:
1. If you're willing to bring your personality to work with you, it'll help you make friends. Some of my best friends are people I've met through work while just "being myself". 2. It opens opportunities you may not be aware of. Years ago I ended up switching from being a founder/CTO-type to working in Developer Relations where I would spend ~50% of my time building software and ~50% of my time doing marketing-related work (writing articles, giving presentations, etc.). I fully attribute this shift to my personality, and it's been a great fit. I really enjoy the work I do and feel like I can be my authentic self at work. 3. I've also been in situations (similar to what you describe) where I don't fit in with the corporate culture. For example, I worked at Okta for ~4.5 years or so and didn't blend in with the corporate culture AT ALL. I still feel like I enjoyed myself and made a large impact, but I certainly wasn't expecting to become a VP there or anything like that.
My advice: just be yourself and optimize your work so it's something you can fully enjoy without putting on an act.
In industries like tech which have a large percentage of non-neurotypical (not quite sure how to describe it - suggestions?) people, it's fairly common to have a "work" and "home" version of yourself. It's exhausting but necessary. For example, someone who might suffer from depression/anxiety/bipolar or a dozen other conditions will have to look in the mirror and put a smile on before meeting their colleagues each da…
The word you are looking for is neurodivergent. And yes, I absolutely agree. There are things that I would just never say/do as a tech worker.
It's important to fit in, but people also like people that are authentic, passionate and stand out in some way.
Fitting in and conforming to the group will stop you from being below average and an outsider, but will also stop you from excelling and being a leader.
It's kind of like dressing or fashion - it's better to wear a smart suit and tie to blend in than wearing something scruffy that sticks out as bad, but it's even better if you can own a look that sticks out as unique, like Steve Jobs with the black turtlenecks.