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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#61

Post by watwut »

itake wrote: post #14
watwut wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I haven't seen that, really. I have seen people interpreting such age gap as a sign of guys immaturity or a general red flag for "that dude is looking to take advantage of you". I have never seen the "I would date that guy but he dates younger girls" thing. Having younger partner is status symbol for a men to show off to other men. It does not make him look like good potential partner to adult women tho.

A recent example is Leonardo DiCaprio and his new partner have upset a few women on Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/10w8fv2/th...

They claim the relationship is predatory which is exactly what I wrote.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#64

Post by TheLoafOfBread »

nicky0 wrote: post #59
oytis wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

According to the article, women are good though? > The study found that among men under 30 years old, over 60 percent are single, almost double that of women in the same age bracket. Meaning women are happily in relationships with men over 30 probably?

Yeah, the math on that is interesting. Either a huge proportion of women under 30 are in relationships with men over 30, or a lot of women under 30 are in relationships with men under 30 who are in simultaneous relationships with other women.

Or women under 30 are lying about being in relationship to not appear like losers.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#65

Post by [deleted] »

itake wrote: post #10

A therapist is recommending therapy to improve men’s relationship skills and to stop watch porn. But the author says the “problem” (for lack of a better term) is women are less interested in dating (focusing on careers and education) and are overwhelmed with their number of choices. This seems like a supply side problem. I’m not seeing how therapy will fix top of the funnel issues.

[deleted]

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#66

Post by thiago_fm »

nicky0 wrote: post #55
thiago_fm wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Found someone who hasn't actually listened to Jordan Peterson. If you did you would find he agrees with you.

I doubt he does, the little I've listened to him, he sounded like a christian, that shoves old beliefs of what women should be and men should behave.

Not all women want to have kids, some of them, want to be very powerful and drive big changes. Not a psychologist here, but a lot of men seem to have the expectation that their wife are like their mothers, submissive, taking care of the house and kids.

And because of that, they struggle to understand the change in power dynamics and how to be a great partner despite of this.

In nature, if you can't adapt, natural selection will happen and you'll be out.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#67

Post by oytis »

nicky0 wrote: post #59
oytis wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

According to the article, women are good though? > The study found that among men under 30 years old, over 60 percent are single, almost double that of women in the same age bracket. Meaning women are happily in relationships with men over 30 probably?

Yeah, the math on that is interesting. Either a huge proportion of women under 30 are in relationships with men over 30, or a lot of women under 30 are in relationships with men under 30 who are in simultaneous relationships with other women.

It's such a weird snapshot of data honestly. Can mean a lot of things

- large number of women staying celibate until their late 20s then starting dating with men in their early 30s.

- men dating multiple women.

- women dating other women.

- couples where women consider themselves in relationships and men consider themselves single.

- people just lying.

- a bad poll.

etc.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#68

Post by luckylion »

AltruisticGapHN wrote: post #32
wiseowise wrote: post #12

> Faced with the choice between an energy-intensive, highly competitive dating environment and the low-effort rewards of porn, young men appear to be taking the path of least resistance. Why would they? And for thousandth time: porn addiction is a symptom, not a cause.

We have to be careful and not fall in reductivism with the "is a symptom not a cause" line of thinking. It could hold you back your whole life. I think it is more helpful to think of it as A and B are linked somehow. Otherwise you're holding up an abstract, imaginary, "true cause¨ that someday/maybe we will find. And of course no such thing exists. If we know anything about the body is that it is a complex ORGANISM w…

Drug addiction is an illness, but it's not like you randomly get the drug-addiction-virus because you didn't wash your hands after touching something in the super market. Drug addiction usually follows drug abuse, and drug abuse often has a reason. That reason is what leads to drug addiction, in other words: drug addiction is a symptom. You can get people into rehab, but unless the reason for their drug abuse is fixed, they'll have a hard time getting & staying clean.

If someone limps because their leg is broken, you'll try to fix their leg, not teach them to walk differently so the limp isn't as visible.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#69

Post by luckylion »

geysersam wrote: post #41
zztop44 wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not if women are dating older men, or if there is a gendered difference in the way people interpret the question (ie: what the definition of single is). Probably some combination.

Then older single women should be more common than older single men. Damn, it's so tough for the older women out there in the cutthroat dating world. Why don't young single men start dating older women?

Most women are looking for a partner of equal or higher standing, and sex isn't a primary concern. A 20yo man has little to offer to a 40yo woman besides being close to his peak fitness, which she cares little for.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#70

Post by geysersam »

kingstoned wrote: post #11

“It's a fact...that in societies like ours sex truly represents a second system of differentiation, completely independent of money; and as a system of differentiation it functions just as mercilessly. The effects of these two systems are, furthermore, strictly equivalent. Just like unrestrained economic liberalism, and for similar reasons, sexual liberalism produces phenomena of absolute pauperization . Some men mak…

Good writing, but bad argument. Some things that make those "systems" different:

1. The market domain is much "wider" than sex. Money influences every aspect of your life.

2. The exact same argument could be made about many other "systems of differentiation". Such as skill or physical and mental health.

It's a cheap argument to make it seem like socialist arguments against economic inequality also applies to some kind of "sexual inequality". Sounds like an argument that eventually leads to Handmaidens tale, but I could just be imagining things.

Fact is that socialism isn't about removing all differences or all unfairness in the world at all cost.

It's about constructing a system that limits the negative side effects of the market economy. One aspect of that is to avoid the commercialization of non-economic aspects of life. What Houllebecq describes is the opposite. Love as a commodity.

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