Earlier quoted context omitted.
Humans do not act on biological impulses and instincts alone, that's why your train of thought is not much aligned with reality. Women rationally know that contraception pills exist and are effective, meaning the choice of getting pregnant is in their hands; (promiscuous) sex apparently has no consequences. This informs their actions.
That might be true. But at least what you describe is not my experience. All women I know want serious relationships, not one-night stands (Belgium). Maybe in your part of the world or generation that is different.
Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
151–160 of 165 posts
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#152Earlier quoted context omitted.
Humans do not act on biological impulses and instincts alone, that's why your train of thought is not much aligned with reality. Women rationally know that contraception pills exist and are effective, meaning the choice of getting pregnant is in their hands; (promiscuous) sex apparently has no consequences. This informs their actions.
That might be true. But at least what you describe is not my experience. All women I know want serious relationships, not one-night stands (Belgium). Maybe in your part of the world or generation that is different.
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#153Earlier quoted context omitted.
I thought I was a fairly attractive guy. I’ve had interest from attractive women in the past. On dating apps though? Crickets. I’ve had several friends vet my profile (who were quite brutal with their feedback, too) but I still only average around 1 match per week. If I’m supposed to be a somewhat attractive guy, I can imagine the vast majority of men must be getting no interest at all.
How tall are you?
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#154Earlier quoted context omitted.
That sounds plausible, but almost everywhere in the world, wealth and fertility seem to be negatively correlated. Poor people have kids early and have more, while rich people delay and have few or none.
I'm wondering if these statistics adjust for age. Wealthier people are usually older and therefore less fertile. Also, there may be selection bias at play here since whoever is more wealthy is more likely to prioritize their career over family & children.
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#155Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…
>Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care if that guy is dating other women. Highly relevant: /u/avocados44 recalls the college sex life of Jimmy Garoppolo, current 49ers QB https://np.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/dpz1mh/highlight_jimmy_... >
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#156Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you think the situation is any better for young women, you're in for a shock. From where I'm sitting, the propaganda targeting women is far, far more pervasive and destructive. Everything about their relationships - the why, when, who and how - is undermined in an alarming majority of our institutions. Date many and often with no inhibitions, "have fun", don't get "tied down", delay marriage and family or abstain…
I have to agree with this now as a parent of a little girl myself and as non-liberal as it sounds. Human values seem to have completely gone down the drain. Bravery, courage, chivalry and respect of elders. That marriage is a commitment and not to be taken lightly, and not to abandon your wife and kids. Almost every day a new Twitter video comes out of dysfunctional children beating up on an elder for taking their to…
So things were better when brave men were happy to march into battle because their feudal lord ordered them to, and they fought to the death with other peasants over some pointless dispute between two warlords?
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#157I want to hear the female side on this topic as well. It's definitely not easy to find a long term partner for both sides.
Good luck with that in places like this...
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#158As an asian man who has traveled to LATAM and the US, I am not surprised. American women are super entitled, hard to approach and borderline delusional when selecting men. It is never enough for them. They are hard to approach, judgy and sincerely just a pain in the ass. Women in LATAM for example are a thousand times sweeter, more feminine and approachable.
I think this will come down to personal preference. For me these sweet feminine woman are annoying as hell and they have expectations that you'll take care of things. I'll take the independent American or west European woman any time of the day.
These "sweet feminine woman" you speak of really don't take any shit either. I think the US has a picture of submissives under the patriarchy when they look at Eastern woman, for example. Let me tell you, that can not be further from the truth.
I've dated, middle Eastern and Asian woman, and they had more _actual_ independence than any European woman I've seen -- and good on them!
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#159Earlier quoted context omitted.
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Why is the thought of other people finding happiness in a way different from you “gut-wrenching”? Such a strong emotional reaction to a lifestyle that has no direct impact on you doesn’t seem healthy.
You are probably right that there is no direct impact, but there is an indirect society-wide impact, the video under discussion touches on that.
Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined
#160Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is it wrong to want women to be happy? The causes enumerated by GP and touched upon in the video under discussion are real and destructive, therefore I would like you to be substantial in your criticism, not simply state a contrarian opinion.
Not being a contrarian, the comment I replied to not so implicitly deprives women of agency over their lives, because so gullible and sheepish that they are driven by some force to act in a certain way. I think let women act outside the norm if they want to,and don't be scared by a woman that steers from motherhood.
You have a few misconceptions on this topic. I will argue on user JesusLovesEwe's behalf because to me it is apparent that he and I concur and want to steer into the same direction, just for a (on the surface level) different motivation.¹ I hope he does not mind and I hope his and my courses of thought are as similar in reality as I assume they are.
You say we are "scared" by a non-traditional woman. That's wrong, the correct word is concerned. We indulge in our protector instinct and simply want women not come to harm.
You say we think women are "gullible and sheepish". That's wrong, the correct word is uninformed. What is happening in reality is that women simply do not know how destructive to themselves and society at large their behaviour is because they were never told what the real consequences are. They hence cannot learn from the bad example and avoid making the mistakes that damage themselves and others. A cultural narrative was created that even portrays the destructive behaviour in good light, I wish you were not complicit in propagating this.
You say we think of depriving women of agency. That's wrong, we want to educate, lay out the conclusions, and let them modify their behaviour by themselves. Persuasion, not force. An adult's agency must be informed by accurate information, so the cultural narrative of falsehoods mentioned before must be countered first, and I think that science is a great tool in that fight. If women knew what they will do their future selves, most of them would refrain from living out the destructive behaviour.
As an aside, the vast majority of people are not educated in psychology, and thus do not know why they behave the way they behave. The "some force" when it comes to intersexual dynamics is actually mostly instinct, a good deal of learned behaviour, and a little bit of rational thought. IMO the basics of this should be taught to everyone in school.
¹ With a username like that, I must assume he argues from a religiously informed moral angle, which in a sense I see as a shortcut of thought. If we go back in time and see how that doctrine was established, we would find society experimenting, recording, comparing and eventually propagating what works best (or perhaps a local maximum), optimising for stability/overall happiness. I, too, want people to be happy, or at least not fall into the trap of easily avoidable suffering.