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Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

jonathanhaidt.substack.com

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Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#681

Post by alexpetralia »

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #219
warner25 wrote: post #2

I'm still reading it, but this is great so far. As a father to four little girls, though, it makes me feel really defeated. I can already see that social media has eroded my wife's mental health. I just don't know what to do in the next few years when our girls approach the age when everyone else will get an iPhone and have an Instagram account. I want to say no, but that leads to many other issues, including what th…

I had my 12 year old daughter read the article and after she argued a while I said: Ok, write up your rejoinder and I will post it and see what others think. For context we severely restrict access to social media in our house, but of course they find ways around this as expected (I don't pi-hole because I want them to learn to be hackers) ----------------------------------- *Why I think it’s reasonable for me to hav…

This is an excellent free response. I wish my colleagues could write this well (I am being serious).

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#682

Post by Reptur »

Social media merely a communication system, the information that transmitted is the problem. Much like money isn't the cause of corruption, like some people in high places would want you to think about certain digital coins. The social hierarchies, the bullying, has all existed previous to social media. The only thing social media has done is be a magnifying glass on those things and put you in an addictive loop exposing you to them. Ridding or reducing social media to solve the problem is akin to the logic you get in therapy, just think about something else, notice your bad thoughts and think about something else in its place. Or what I like to call, ignoring the root problems, which is the toxic social hierarchies and bullying.

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#683

Post by golergka »

kortilla wrote: post #675
andrei_says_ wrote: post #492

Earlier quoted context omitted.

iOS has excellent parental control tools, down to time allowance on per app level. Of course a decision to use restriction would ideally be one made together with the child so that they can truly consent.

>that they can truly consent. This is bullshit. They are not consenting. They are succumbing to coercion due to power dynamics at best or are straight up being overridden by what you want. Parenting is not negotiating with an adult, especially if they are preteen/early teenage years. They are humans with terrible executive functions that would be wards of the state without you. You can certainly explain why you’re ma…

You're right that kids can't make decisions yet. However, they should be taught to, and in order to learn something, you should be able to attempt it, even if you fail.

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#684

Post by haydar_ai »

timst4 wrote: post #123
warner25 wrote: post #2

I'm still reading it, but this is great so far. As a father to four little girls, though, it makes me feel really defeated. I can already see that social media has eroded my wife's mental health. I just don't know what to do in the next few years when our girls approach the age when everyone else will get an iPhone and have an Instagram account. I want to say no, but that leads to many other issues, including what th…

Middle School educator here. I can assure you that your daughters will not be alone when it comes to a moratorium on social media. However, the girls they may very well want to be friends with may be very much into social media and group chats. My advice is to be firm but also take steps to create social opportunities for your daughters. I have a 12yo and I host board game nights with amazing snack trays. I help her…

Is it correct for me to assume that you have your daughter without a smartphone right? How is she communicating day-to-day with her peers in school then?

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#686

Post by Slava_Propanei »

warner25 wrote: post #2

I'm still reading it, but this is great so far. As a father to four little girls, though, it makes me feel really defeated. I can already see that social media has eroded my wife's mental health. I just don't know what to do in the next few years when our girls approach the age when everyone else will get an iPhone and have an Instagram account. I want to say no, but that leads to many other issues, including what th…

[dead]

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#687

Post by [deleted] »

maegul wrote: post #455
timst4 wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Middle School educator here. I can assure you that your daughters will not be alone when it comes to a moratorium on social media. However, the girls they may very well want to be friends with may be very much into social media and group chats. My advice is to be firm but also take steps to create social opportunities for your daughters. I have a 12yo and I host board game nights with amazing snack trays. I help her…

Sounds like some form of collective action could go a long way here to the point of being imperative. Get like minded parents and teachers and administrators together on this and work together to preview and encourage alternatives. Tangentially, I’m curious if smoking went through a phase similar to this, where all the parents were doing it but there was still some recognition that children/teens shouldn’t and some p…

[deleted]

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#688

Post by AndrewKemendo »

idopmstuff wrote: post #321
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had my 12 year old daughter read the article and after she argued a while I said: Ok, write up your rejoinder and I will post it and see what others think. For context we severely restrict access to social media in our house, but of course they find ways around this as expected (I don't pi-hole because I want them to learn to be hackers) ----------------------------------- *Why I think it’s reasonable for me to hav…

Just wanted to chime in and say that my wife is due to give birth to our first child imminently, and if at 12 he can reason and communicate in this fashion, I will consider myself to have totally crushed it as a parent. Keep up the good work.

Thank you for the kind words

Re: Social media is a cause, not a correlate, of mental illness in teen girls

#689

Post by Shocka1 »

e40 wrote: post #308
NaN1352 wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Video games and social media are two entirely different things. Some of my best times with my friends is LAN parties as well as going together at demo parties, traveling, coding together. Frankly, a ban on videogames is stupid as hell. Even today on discord and over the network, it?s stil entirely unlike social media. /smh

I agree they are different, but they definitely share some things. Moderation with video games is hard for young people. Same for social media. That's why I mentioned it. And, I wasn't suggesting a ban on video games.

I have a four year old boy who absolutely loves games, just like I did at a young age. Any and all advice is welcome in handling this, so I appreciate your comments.

My current strategy has been steering him towards games that require a bit of thinking - like Kerbel Space Program, flight simulators, Kings Quest, etc. He gets to play a little Roblox as well, but only in very small doses. I have to help him a lot with them right now, but once he starts reading I'm hoping he'll choose these types of games on his own. In the warmer months this is easier to manage because he loves playing outside, but it can sometimes be challenging in winter.

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