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The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

theatlantic.com

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81–90 of 194 posts

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#81

Post by yencabulator »

xyzelement wrote: post #35

I think this is just the aftermath (and also, ongoing) of boomer culture. Before that generation, you generally had kids in your late 20s and grandkids in your 50s. If you were 80, you were a great grandparent. All these titles conveyed an age. By the time you were those ages, you acted that age. Boomers I think invented the 40 is the new 30 and 70 is the new 50 nonsense, so of course they are confused about what age…

Just so you know, "haven't taken on the appropriate responsibility" really sounds like you are judging people whose life choices differ from yours. Nobody has a responsibility to procreate.

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#82

Post by nativeit »

rudasn wrote: post #63
crdrost wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Jukebox the Ghost in 2012, In my lungs I still feel young But my body won't play along I'm thinking this must not be where we Belong. Alan Kay was talking somewhere, but I don't have the link, about how a lot of his success in his youth had to do with the research community around him, and I think he was asked a question about how that sort of thing changes as you grow older... He replied that the combination of grow…

> [...] he had to stop looking for validation at the "quality of my results" and instead had to feel pride at the "quality of my effort." Something I have kept in mind. Along the same lines, is the realisation that we tend to judge (?) others by the outcome of their efforts, but we judge ourselves by the outcome of our thoughts. I've read that somewhere, certainly more eloquently put, but it also stuck - esp. afrer h…

Unless it’s some other creative variation on the same theme, that sentiment is referring to what I learned in my college psych classes as the “Fundamental Attribution Error”. Simply put, the fundamental attribution error says that part of our nature leads us to attribute more of our own behavior to being the result of a nuanced blend of circumstances and external influences, while the behavior of others gets more associated with who they are and the internal choices they made with little or no consideration to forces beyond their control.

It intuitively makes sense that this is the case, and for some reason it really stuck with me (it’s been 16-years since that class). Committing to working against this nearly universal implicit bias led me to being a more empathetic person over time.

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#84

Post by uonpopular_th »

Sai_ wrote: post #80
thunderbong wrote: post #18

"The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is still young" - Oscar Wilde

Someone should invent an Oscar Wilde quote generator like they did for Deepak Chopra. I’ve been guilty of using OW’s quotes but does the format have to be so predictable? “The with/of is not that it but that ”. 1. The surprising thing about rain is not that it falls during your parade but that it never does when you have to attend someone else’s. 2. Some people read books to educate themselves, others to subjugate ot…

1 and 2 are great, 3 isn't.

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#85

Post by uonpopular_th »

dehrmann wrote: post #61
jacquesm wrote: post #13

"Inside every old person is a young person that wonders what the fuck happened".

When we're young, the world is full of opportunities. As we get older, the doors to those opportunities close, and fewer things seem possible.

Not really. There's just as many opportunities in every age, it's just that you've been burned enough times to realize that the majority of opportunities are nothing of the sort.

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#87

Post by lisper »

JALTU wrote: post #68

I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.

Yep. I'm going through the exact same thing with the exact same results.

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#88

Post by nerdface »

incanus77 wrote: post #73
JALTU wrote: post #68

I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.

Feels so for me. I'm nearing 46, and all through my 30s I felt (and was told) that I seemed younger. My wife passed from cancer when I was 39 and I feel like all that time caught up to me in the next year or so. Now I feel (and I think, look) age-appropriate, have begun to definitely feel the aging. However, I've also made more serious efforts towards good nutrition and exercise and am feeling much healthier than oth…

Sorry for your loss

Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are

#89

Post by oh_sigh »

slowhadoken wrote: post #71

It’s not uncommon for me to be in a conversation with someone in their 30’s or 40’s and they think I’m younger than them. I still get hit on by 18, 19, and 20 year olds. I’m not interested but it’s flattering. Perspective and attitude go a long way.

Same here. I think it's negatively affected my career prospects too, not that I care too much about that.

Never thought it would be advantageous to be a schlubby balding guy, but I saw someone start the same day as me get way more respect immediately despite me being pretty clearly more technically competent than him. Maybe he was schmoozing behind the scenes, I don't know.

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