It’s not uncommon for me to be in a conversation with someone in their 30’s or 40’s and they think I’m younger than them. I still get hit on by 18, 19, and 20 year olds. I’m not interested but it’s flattering. Perspective and attitude go a long way.
The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
71–80 of 194 posts
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#72I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.
I feel that after kid was born. Chronic sleep deprivation and depression are the reasons. Not sure when will nd hopefully not too long.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#73I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.
Feels so for me. I'm nearing 46, and all through my 30s I felt (and was told) that I seemed younger. My wife passed from cancer when I was 39 and I feel like all that time caught up to me in the next year or so. Now I feel (and I think, look) age-appropriate, have begun to definitely feel the aging. However, I've also made more serious efforts towards good nutrition and exercise and am feeling much healthier than other periods of my life. But mentally, I'm incredibly presently aware of every day and how uncertain any future days with anyone, let alone myself, actually are.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#74Curious how old other formerly closeted queer folks feel (particularly those who came out as adults). I have felt 30 since I hit puberty. I imagine it's from being hyper vigilant about policing my own behavior and body language.
As someone who came out at 18 (technically an adult), both:
- younger—I had a vastly accelerated "social puberty" bc I started so much later than most folks.
- older—for the reason you mentioned.
- but now younger again—I don't feel the same pressure to have biokids, and thus not beholden to the "biological clock" that forces birthing parents to start families in their 30s. I'm 32 and just went back to school, because why not! Plus, the pressure of the white gay dating scene forces me to take better care of myself (sleep, diet, exercise), which also make me feel younger.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#75Earlier quoted context omitted.
Jukebox the Ghost in 2012, In my lungs I still feel young But my body won't play along I'm thinking this must not be where we Belong. Alan Kay was talking somewhere, but I don't have the link, about how a lot of his success in his youth had to do with the research community around him, and I think he was asked a question about how that sort of thing changes as you grow older... He replied that the combination of grow…
In general (nothing against Kotlin) I think it probably has to do with the prospect of having to fiddle about and work late with new tech for the same outcome as what you would have gotten with the tried and true tech. At the end of the day, I want to spend my time with my friends and family and not burning the midnight hours on work tasks that could have been avoided.
This resonates but also essentially agrees w/the parent, the youth want to do what you just described for various reasons that benefit the youth, the older peeps didn’t, because of similar motivations.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#76I wonder how much this schism exists in people who were near death in a “younger” age. I’ve had a couple of reminders of my mortality from my 20s to early 30s now and it’s firmly grounded a “now or never” mindset to getting things done, because nothing is guaranteed. In the same vein, I’m very continually aware of my age and am mindful of the statistically likely years I have left. Memento Mori.
Interestingly, I’ve experienced exactly the same thing, but the outcome is that I care very little about what people think would be an “age appropriate” approach to life and just optimise for maximum fulfilment right now, whatever form that takes.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#77I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.
Yes, absolutely. I've felt 22-ish for most of my adult life, until midlife happened. That was a couple years ago, and I'm in the tail end of my midlife "crisis". Right now, at 47, I feel my age. Also, I'm totally okay with it.
Midlife crisis definitely happened for me, and might actually have been my internal age adjusting to my external one.
Makes me wonder if I'll feel 47 for the rest of my life...
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#78I wonder if others here found their mental age aging more rapidly after certain life events? The wake of aging parents transitioning (death, stroke/care home) has without doubt accelerated my mental age, which in turn has changed what I'd call my horizon. When younger and prior to said events, the horizon was far away; time enough for everything/anything. Not so much anymore, much greater sense of uncertainty.
I agree. I felt like a "kid" throughout college and the first few years after, but then I moved away from my college friends and felt like a 20-something.
I felt like a 20-something until my late 30s when I had children. When my third kid came, I felt like I skipped my 30s and turned 40... right before my 40th birthday.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#79Curious how old other formerly closeted queer folks feel (particularly those who came out as adults). I have felt 30 since I hit puberty. I imagine it's from being hyper vigilant about policing my own behavior and body language.
Think I've generally been 19 since the age of 19. Mostly to do with energy and uncertainty about life direction that has nothing to do with sexuality, but most friends my age have kids...
In my earlier teens I might have been able to sound like a young adult talking about something like politics, but if anything I was all the more early teenager in terms of uncertainty over sexuality and how people would react.
Re: The gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
#80"The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is still young" - Oscar Wilde
Someone should invent an Oscar Wilde quote generator like they did for Deepak Chopra. I’ve been guilty of using OW’s quotes but does the format have to be so predictable?
“The with/of is not that it but that ”.
1. The surprising thing about rain is not that it falls during your parade but that it never does when you have to attend someone else’s.
2. Some people read books to educate themselves, others to subjugate others.
3. I have nothing to declare but I’m too much of a genius to just “No” when asked.
How did I do?