141–150 of 165 posts
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That's an another angle I haven't thought about. Thank you for sharing.
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> single parenthood is completely normalised How? Would the government pay for surrogates for single men? Unless by "single parenthood" you actually just mean "single motherhood", which hardly seems like the way to run a gender equal society.
Forget gender equal society, question now is about having some next generation at all. This Tinder-inequality thing means another deep reduction in birth rate. We need to get birthrate fixed before thinking of equality etc. issues
It's already harder to raise kids with a nuclear family than the extended families of the past, atomizing further into single parents seems like another step backwards.
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So basically not adhering to your standard of what a woman should do is wrong?
Is it wrong to want women to be happy? The causes enumerated by GP and touched upon in the video under discussion are real and destructive, therefore I would like you to be substantial in your criticism, not simply state a contrarian opinion.
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Simultaneously, it takes some balls (sic) to claim that sex work in all countries is definitely the result of human trafficking (etc). How about: "In some countries, sex work seems to be illegal and problematic. But in other countries, it's regulated and successful.".
Wait I thought “ It's only controversial in the US”. Now, it is “some countries”?
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Simultaneously, it takes some balls (sic) to claim that sex work in all countries is definitely the result of human trafficking (etc). How about: "In some countries, sex work seems to be illegal and problematic. But in other countries, it's regulated and successful.".
I didn't claim sex work in all countries is a result of human trafficking. I said forced prostitution is fuelled by human trafficking. >"In some countries, sex work seems to be illegal and problematic. But in other countries, it's regulated and successful." My take is similar to yours, I'm just communicating to the original commentor that the societies where sex work is legitimate, regulated and safe is a minority co…
Thinking about it, that's a good point. "Unforced" (eg voluntary or better term) prostitution seems like it wouldn't have anything to do with "human trafficking", as they'd be kind of anathema to each other.
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Is it wrong to want women to be happy? The causes enumerated by GP and touched upon in the video under discussion are real and destructive, therefore I would like you to be substantial in your criticism, not simply state a contrarian opinion.
Not being a contrarian, the comment I replied to not so implicitly deprives women of agency over their lives, because so gullible and sheepish that they are driven by some force to act in a certain way. I think let women act outside the norm if they want to,and don't be scared by a woman that steers from motherhood.
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Find someone to marry and settle down. Then you won’t be part of the society ruining.
My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.
I'm pretty much where you are... as I've gotten older and more successful I've become a more attractive package, but I've learned more and more that women aren't into 'me' at all... just what I have. Over time this has hurt me and I now have major trust issues with women.
I recently took several years off from dating. Told myself I'd meet people organically in and around town. I wasn't looking to date, wasn't looking for hookups, just looking to get to know someone and do activities with them and see if we could act as friends. Asking myself: can I even be friends with a women? I should add I live on a lake, so there's a lot of "lake life" around here, lots of people to meet and have fun with, especially in the summer.
I've pretty much learned that just being friends with women and not sleeping with them doesn't change much of the equation. Women can still "smell" the success on me, and stick close largely because they are either 1) using me to have fun with my money/toys or 2) biding their time looking for an eventual in, or some combination of the two.
Overall I don't feel the majority of these women were good friends, or treated 'me' particularly well. I was a means to an end for them.
You think point #2 above (biding time) would be ok, but the reality is that these women got jealous etc even though there was no relationship between us (no sex, no affection etc). They acted as if they deserved some sort of claim on me, which of course was ridiculous as I wasn't taking anything from them other than their time. In some ways I think "just friends" messes with a woman's mind.
Long story short, because I wasn't seeking sex or anything it left me strangely feeling more used overall, as there was nothing I was taking in return for giving them access to my life/money/etc. I was giving the same, but getting less. They were still playing the game and trying to get things out of me, everything but getting to know or invest in the real 'me'.
I've come to the conclusion that men and women really can't be friends at all (at least, not when you're trying to find and build a real relationship).
Since that experiment, I started dating again, and can honestly say the gold diggers have gotten more numerous and more brazen. So what I do now to protect myself
- make a quick decision as to whether or not I see any long term potential in the person, the sooner the better. Drop them the moment your gut says no long term here. I don't want my time wasted, or theirs.
- I'm no longer sleeping with women until I've made a decision that there might be potential in the relationship (some ability to build trust). Easier to gauge long term potential without sex in the way (sex seemingly fast-forwards intimacy, but in a fake way).
I can say it's been successful. I met a woman who comes from a similar place in life (successful, but with trust issues) and so neither of us needs anything from each other except the ability to build a trusting relationship.
The word caliber comes to mind. If you're successful, you need to find women that match your caliber. Some form of success (doesn't have to be career or monetary) indicating they can meet you where you are.
Lastly, I miss the ability to trust. I often miss the love I had for my unhealthy first wife, because even though she was terrible for me, she loved me when I didn't have two cents to rub together. I never doubted she loved 'me' as a person, not what I had. Hoping to get this back someday.
Good luck to you
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My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.
I call this the Tiger Woods problem... why throw it all away for flings with pornstars? Basically no one loves 'him', just his image and brand. I'm no Tiger Woods, but here's my 2 cents in case it helps you at all. I'm pretty much where you are... as I've gotten older and more successful I've become a more attractive package, but I've learned more and more that women aren't into 'me' at all... just what I have. Over…
Lol, I think #1 is universal to all sexes.
You have a "value"/status, and it's there whether it can be tapped for tangible benefits or not, and male friends do price it in to "how much do I value my friendship with this guy?"
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I used to get laid a lot from Tinder because I figured out how to game the system. But at some point I realized I didn't actually like the people I was scoring with; yeah maybe they were attractive and we had some basic things in common. But I didn't really want to hang out with them or talk to them. Eventually I realized I was just trying to get laid, or seem appealing/attractive. When I looked at what I was doing,…
I’m picky too mate. I studied psychology just to crack dating. There’s a method to my madness. My point: put 500 dedicated hours to it (coached) and you’ll be able to find a good match. At least, that’s my experience. My biggest tip: read up on assorted mating theory and ask yourself what your biggest personality traits are. Communicate those traits. In my case: imagination and curiosity. I communicate my imagination…
I got tons of matches on Tinder, quite a lot of dates and hook ups, and relationships. I'm passably attractive but nothing much, just above average. I wrote something a little funny in my bio, put up pictures that aren't: in the gym, fishing, driving a car, smiling while standing at some random place, hiking. What I had was pictures of me having fun, not "expected fun" but where I really enjoyed myself, some extremely silly. And a portrait so people could know exactly what I looked like.
I found two long-time partners and a lot of very fun and interesting dates.
I think it worked because I was just genuine and honestly meeting people who I had a conversation that clicked. Don't think I could ever overthink this that much...
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No, men aren’t looking for dates cause online dating has made it really brutal for them and allowed women to be more choosy It’s not by choice
Nah, it's by choice for many of us. I have no problem getting sex or charming women, and throughout my 20s had a bunch of fun with many women. I just don't care to do it anymore. I would rather spend my time learning and building than socializing, stressing, and dressing. Mostly I put this down to getting older, but a big part is just coming to terms with myself and how that differs from societal expectations. I've b…