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The End of Love

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Re: The End of Love

#91

Post by Omshinwa »

Johanx64 wrote: post #61
sneak wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, it could also be that she is just fantastically bad at prescreening. It's easy to find a hundred garbage single people - that's why they're single, remember?

Her case is really clear cut, dry and simple. Aging single mother of 3, yet with very high expectations that don't match her fading looks, nor personality. The vast amount of choices and nearly unlimited supply that hookup apps have on offer messes with her head This is a common recurring theme with single aging middle aged woman with kids types.

[dead]

Re: The End of Love

#92

Post by mettamage »

spadros wrote: post #85
mettamage wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see where you’re coming from. Not sure if it’s pure entitlement. I just think she is in her own way without realizing it. She jas certain schemas that she runs on autopilot without realizing it. Then again, I am not good with English emotional words, I know what they mean but I don’t feel much when they’re said, second language

Maybe. I’d say this: If you think one guy is an asshole, he’s probably an asshole. If you think everyone is an asshole… It’s time to do some hard introspection.

Good point, I should use this way of thinking more

Re: The End of Love

#94

Post by bombolo »

spadros wrote: post #82
8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The whole time I was reading the article I was thinking of the hundreds of thousands of men on these apps who are not 6ft and above, who don't have PhDs, who do not drink 3rd wave coffee and are lucky to maybe get a couple of matches on the apps in a month. This woman is suffocating in choice, while the armies of men who are not good enough for her would be happy to get 1/100th of the activity she's seeing. We really…

Yes me too. I’d guess that the average man on OLD sees more rejection in a month than the average woman will in her lifetime. It’s a tough dating world for the average straight man. It makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe a potential remedy is for straight men to move back to predominantly hitting on people in real life in the hopes of finding a woman not on OLD. OLD is only making the straight women on their platforms…

When I used to be single I used both online dating and hitting on women.

It was so much easier in person because there would be no other person trying to do the same. Online I was competing with thousands of people.

Re: The End of Love

#95

Post by HKH2 »

gverrilla wrote: post #45

Go to South America, or Africa. America and Europe are great about building things and organizing society, but when it comes to enjoying life there's a lot to learn from the South, actually. Good luck :)

How easy is it for a woman to accept a partner that makes less money than them?

Re: The End of Love

#96

Post by gverrilla »

HKH2 wrote: post #95
gverrilla wrote: post #45

Go to South America, or Africa. America and Europe are great about building things and organizing society, but when it comes to enjoying life there's a lot to learn from the South, actually. Good luck :)

How easy is it for a woman to accept a partner that makes less money than them?

Accepting a partner is not a single-point decision, but a process. You have to know each other, build trust, build joy, etc. I don't think that's the main driver for most women. Smart people will care about who you are, not what you have. Good luck

Re: The End of Love

#97

Post by snapplebobapple »

spadros wrote: post #57

Articles like this make me incredibly depressed. It seems common place now to see blog posts written by women saying “woe is me, I’ve dated a crapton of men and get so much attention, but I can’t find the one ”. If women become this entitled and vain from online dating, the dating pool is only going to stagnate more. If the author could practice some tolerance, empathy, gratitude, and non-judgement, I’m sure many of…

It is just the reckoning happening man. Socially we taught at least gen x forward untruths about the life cycle of relationships. Turns out the religious monogamy for life guys got it more right for more people than the consumerist sex without consequence for all time crew over the whole life cycle, even though the consumerist is better for young women and better for successful men of most ages.

Re: The End of Love

#98

Post by DougN7 »

snapplebobapple wrote: post #97
spadros wrote: post #57

Articles like this make me incredibly depressed. It seems common place now to see blog posts written by women saying “woe is me, I’ve dated a crapton of men and get so much attention, but I can’t find the one ”. If women become this entitled and vain from online dating, the dating pool is only going to stagnate more. If the author could practice some tolerance, empathy, gratitude, and non-judgement, I’m sure many of…

It is just the reckoning happening man. Socially we taught at least gen x forward untruths about the life cycle of relationships. Turns out the religious monogamy for life guys got it more right for more people than the consumerist sex without consequence for all time crew over the whole life cycle, even though the consumerist is better for young women and better for successful men of most ages.

I really hate this quote: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”. Having said that, sex is a huge bonding element for those who won’t have sex outside of marriage. Everyone else misses out on that element, and are paying for it.

Re: The End of Love

#99

Post by snapplebobapple »

DougN7 wrote: post #98
snapplebobapple wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is just the reckoning happening man. Socially we taught at least gen x forward untruths about the life cycle of relationships. Turns out the religious monogamy for life guys got it more right for more people than the consumerist sex without consequence for all time crew over the whole life cycle, even though the consumerist is better for young women and better for successful men of most ages.

I really hate this quote: “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”. Having said that, sex is a huge bonding element for those who won’t have sex outside of marriage. Everyone else misses out on that element, and are paying for it.

Yah, that quote is problematic because it's primarily reflecting the successful man's position when the problem is more broad. Unless you really screw up your choice and marry someone you fundamentally can't get along with once the smoldering sex burns down to embers and you are stuck coasting on talking to each other, the occasional bang, and potentially shared commitments to raising children, marriage almost certainly far outperforms consumerist sex without consequences across any individual's life cycle for the majority of individuals (at least from what I can see from my personal experience and the experience of the people in my peer group). I know so many young women that had a blast through their early 30's and now sound exactly like the writer of this article and I know a lot of men who are still struggling because they were average or slightly less than average levels of successful professionally as well as a minority of men who had it rough in their 20's but are having a blast in the 30's and 40's because they stayed single and did well professionally and now basically have their pick of the dating apps. I am an atheist but I can see the superiority of the outcome for most people of the religious monogamy with social consequences setup for most people from my dataset.

Re: The End of Love

#100

Post by ChildOfChaos »

skissane wrote: post #32
georgeecollins wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that is the problem with modern dating. There is too much information and too many choices available so that it is easy to reject someone for something that is obviously trivial. In the olden days you would sometimes fall for someone as you got to know them better, even if they had a few flaws that made them seem imperfect. There is a great Russian movie "Moscow does not believe in tears" where the heroine sa…

> I think that is the problem with modern dating. There is too much information and too many choices available so that it is easy to reject someone for something that is obviously trivial. You can go looking for the perfect person and never find them - or you can choose to be with someone and say “I’m flawed and you are flawed but we are going to try our hardest to make it work in spite of our flaws”.

I watched a video on YouTube recently that was actually on decision making, but it talked about arranged marriages.

With arranged marriages, the decision is made, so they have to make it work, for the rest of us, we think it’s the decision that matters more than anything else, so we place too much value on making the decision, as if a perfect one exists and place less value on making that decision work.

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