641–650 of 689 posts
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She sees them at school every day?
Not every day of the week. And plans/things change all the time. Luckily we can message everyone in a group saying we'll be late/can't go/let's do this new activity instead. Everyone was doing everything on imessage. People don't call other's home phones anymore to make plans. Do you even own a landline?
Yes.
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By talking and physical proximity. It's not easier, but it's also not exactly hard if you go to the same school.
School only covers part of the day. You don't always see all your friends (some share different class schedules). This doesn't cover the weekend. And it doesn't cover changing plans or adhoc after school plans. I just don't see how someone can be shocked that their daughter couldn't make plans after they took away the prominent communication device everyone uses. It isn't like when we grew up and you'd call the landl…
Except for the fact that 3 out of 4 of our kids are willing to do that.
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I had my 12 year old daughter read the article and after she argued a while I said: Ok, write up your rejoinder and I will post it and see what others think. For context we severely restrict access to social media in our house, but of course they find ways around this as expected (I don't pi-hole because I want them to learn to be hackers) ----------------------------------- *Why I think it’s reasonable for me to hav…
My opinion is: Give her anonymous social media (& general internet safety tips), i.e. reddit or maybe some special-interest discords. Sounds like interacting with strangers on the internet is a lot better than your friends. Help her decide what to subscribe to based on her interests. I was about that age when I started posting on anonymous boards, and I wrote terrible group fanfictions, talked about how great the Lor…
I'm just struggling with the idea because it runs counter to a couple other ideas: First, that social networking with people you actually know is the good part while broadcasting to the world through social media to collect likes and followers is the bad part. Second, that anonymity and pseudonymity bring out the most toxic behavior in people, so things like "real name" policies are better.
2. Suppose legislation limits Meta's freedom in attempt to advert mental health issues.
How difficult will it be for Meta to maneuver or adapt to survive in this environment?
3. Meta's market cap is 442 billion usd. What do you guess Meta's market cap to be in 2033 (ie, the average of your expectations)?
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It is a very interesting aspect of all this kind of discussion that when any problem exist for girls and women, the problem is described as being caused by an external force. When ever a problem exist for boys and men, the problem is described as an internal force within the boys and men themselves. As long I have seen those topics on HN it never fails to display this cultural view about men and women. Men not gradua…
And it’s extremely patronizing to women and girls. It takes away their agency and centers their choices back onto men and society. By contrast, if a man spends too much time playing video games, he’s seen as lacking discipline (something within his control), not as a victim of society or corporations (something outside of his control).
The obvious reading is that GP simply meant any cultural pressure for women to (over)value appearance (or conversely the lack of cultural immunity to such pressures), regardless of whether it comes from men or women, because it has always come from both (historically, and today).
So I fail to see how they are taking away agency from women and attributing it to men.
(2) If you live in the English-speaking parts of the West, our cultural awareness absolutely has an equivalent of this for men and boys. It’s sometimes called “toxic masculinity” (we can debate whether it’s the appropriate choice of words, but the awareness exists).
If a boy or a man man spends too much time playing video games, because he is repressing his emotions, some would certainly ask whether it’s because society has never taught him to process emotions and display vulnerability. (I had a roommate like this.)
And conversely, if a girl or woman spends too much time on social media (but stripped away from context), you’d bet “poor self-discipline” is on the list of hypotheses too in people’s minds, rightly or wrongly.
I think this is trying too hard to conjure bias _ex nihilio_, or at least lumping GP’s reasoning with what you’ve seen elsewhere.
(3) Part of what people do is influenced, or inspired, or sometimes constrained by culture. Admitting this does not take away agency from people.
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No, it would mean not attributing innate value to maleness or femaleness, so to speak,, but to the relevant metrics. One can still compute a mean afterward and potentially find that it differs, but that is no judgment of inherent value / not a causative factor for the value judgment being made. And even then, there might sometimes be benefit to treating people more equally than they are on some metrics. Maximizing ef…
Given that there is clearly a difference in relative value produced across a non-trivial number of (often incomparable!) contexts, men and women cannot be equal, and the fiction that they are would not survive an afternoon spent watching the Olympics, or a brief visit to a maternity ward. In my opinion, the only thing we should do with that information is accept that (1) men and women are different, (2) disparity of…
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People aren't abstract mathematical concepts. No two people are identical, and the range of difference between the two most extreme men almost certainly exceeds the range of difference between the most woman-like men and the most man-like women. Given the obvious differences between humans, nobody expects that every single person will contribute identical value, or should be valued identically. However, there is a ve…
Cherry-picked examples. I could easily do the same and claim that men are undervalued. They are sacrificed in wars, make up the main portion of the homeless and they do the hardest and dirtiest work to provide the modern infrastructure of the world. They have no support structure, can't fail and are constantly pissed on in culture and media. Neither of us is telling the whole story.
My point was to focus on the center of the venn diagram, where men and women do the same or similar jobs, especially jobs in which the balance has shifted over time, so that we can see that even in the midst of a general undervaluing of humans, separate from the extreme undervaluing that happens at the edges, women are undervalued even more than usual.
For some reason, many people find it hard to understand this.
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I think it's important to remember that high school is a critical time where a lot of people shift focus to their friend groups and their own reputation therein. Social Media changes the terrain, but the game is not that different. I remember back to my own high school experience and how my range of activities narrowed dramatically and there was a lot more focus on who's dating whom and what the cool kids are up to.…
I also remember my high school times, it was at the bridge between the analog and the digital and it's a completely different playing field. I understand where you are coming from, but I am very close to my sister and what they are experiencing does not compare to what traditional high school coming of age scenarios had. You mention who is dating whom and what the cool kids are up to. Imagine what the global reach an…
Now it's perfectly normal for flirtation to happen city-wide via social media. That means the competition for top choices is now city wide. To be top in a 100k teenager city you;d have to be 1:100000, being 1:1000 could simply mean you're viewed as "average" because highlight reel nature of social media means the average people are essentially invisible.
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Anecdotal, but dating apps sure helped crush the self-esteem of my sister. She still gets on them occasionally, because there's no alternative now. Guys in the post-#metoo era just won't approach a girl at a bar the way they used to.
Guys also just don't want to go to bars. Even in my 20s, "going out" always felt like a chore that I had to do to find a partner. Approaching girls in public has high social consequences. I've read enough reddit [0][1][2] or seen enough news articles about people banned from businesses because a guy was seen as creepy. Men need to learn what is ok and not ok when communicating with women. This is already an challenge…
For the most part girls will not do this. Any woman who has ever dated men eventually learns that if a man is interested he'll make it known and if you have to chase him he's not interested. For that reason most eventually give up on making the first move because those situations never go anywhere, whereas when men make the first move they do. It's not necessarily fair but it's the typical dynamic so waiting around for girls to make the first move is very unlikely to work out in your favor. Also, the thing about men being creepy for approaching is very overblown online. In real life as long as you're pleasant and polite and willing to take no for an answer most women will be happy and gracious if you approach them. Go for it!