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Most young men are single. Most young women are not

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Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#91

Post by bluetomcat »

wollyhood wrote: post #43

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

> They would regularly initiate conversations, share personal details of their life

As a non-American, what strikes me about young American females in particular is how talkative and expressive they are. I've never talked with them in person, but I've observed young tourist groups in Europe. They can be talking trivialities about their experiences in a self-assertive way non-stop, constantly littered with "I was like", "it was like", "he was like".

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#92

Post by runsWphotons »

runsWphotons wrote: post #77
metaphor wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The average age of first child for women is now over 30 in the us i think. Less handwaving, more cites[1]. [1] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/b.htm#agefb

yes thank you, i mixed up some things. the average age of giving birth is now 30 ( https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna27827 ) which is (i think) the number being measured in the paper as 23 historically. So the increase is large. Also I am somewhat confused because other sources like the NYT from 2018 say the first birth number is 26...i wonder if the statistics you provided are skewed by younger motherhood for the…

it would also be interesting to see recent statistics on foreign born mothers vs us born mothers...here is another source supporting that first motherhood is now 26+, not 23 as in cdc numbers:https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/06/28/u-s-women-a...

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#94

Post by b800h »

v8xi wrote: post #39
nebukadnet wrote: post #22

I find this very surprising. The first sentence of the article states that about 60% of men are single, and only about 30% of women. There's about equal men and women, so that would mean that 30% of women are dating each other, or are in relationships with multiple men? That's discounting men dating men. I find that surprising.

The article states 60/30% of young people, so the correct interpretation is that older men are "taking" a large share of the young, single women / young women prefer dating older men.

Entirely possible that older men are going into second long-term relationships with younger women after already having had a child or two.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#96

Post by b800h »

tppiotrowski wrote: post #29
nebukadnet wrote: post #22

I find this very surprising. The first sentence of the article states that about 60% of men are single, and only about 30% of women. There's about equal men and women, so that would mean that 30% of women are dating each other, or are in relationships with multiple men? That's discounting men dating men. I find that surprising.

The article explains this. They are either dating each other or dating older men.

They didn't mention the fact that successful younger males are dating multiple women at once. That's another factor.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#97

Post by cmsj »

epolanski wrote: post #79

I think that the biggest difference from the past is that mental health of young adults is deteriorating and that it is impacting men more than women. This is largely driven by the isolation brought by modern technologies but also changes in society, as women became more empowered they also rose their standards which once were to merely be able to provide for the family. Among the complains of my female friends menta…

As a male man chap fellow, I have no clue what "masculinity" means, and I have essentially no interest in trying to define it. We're just individuals. Try to be the best kind of individual you can - learn empathy, show interest in others and help them. Maybe you'll meet someone to partner with, maybe you won't, but chasing some societal ideal of "masculinity" is almost certainly not the best way to be the best version of yourself, or to attract long-term partners.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#98

Post by lytefm »

throwaway22032 wrote: post #3

Is this surprising? My intuition, backed by approximately 0 data, is that there's a 5 to 10 year age gap preference, such that men prefer to be with slightly younger women and women with slightly older men. As a result, young men don't really have a dating pool. Once they hit 30, as long as they're not total wasters, women will take more interest.

It is not surprising at all if we consider evolutionary psychology and how dating actually works due to the differences between men and women. David Buss did a lot of research in that field, this [1] is a nice intro.

Women and men have completely different attractiveness trajectories and „what's at risk” when having sex.

The article correctly argues that societal changes made it a lot more difficult for young men to find a romantic partner:

- No pressure to marry early in your twenties as a woman. Instead, it's even expected to „have some fun“ and marry later.

- Dating apps and a more individualistic society make it easy for women to find a mate outside of their social cirle.

Unless they've been doing exceptionally well (e.g. are physically fit, have a good status in their peer group, a well-rounded personality and make some money), men in their early twenties don't have a lot to offer to women of their age. On the other hand, women are usually in their peak attractiveness in early/mid twenties and can easily select an older partner.

Anecdotal experience also confirms that. I'm in my late 20s, my GF in her early twenties. She had no serious interest in anyone from her school year. We met on a dating app. Quite a few of my similar-aged friends who had very litte luck with women found a romantic partner once they've finished their degree and earned some money.

[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu4Uki8VyLc

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#99

Post by francisofascii »

wollyhood wrote: post #43

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

If only young women actually wanted all those desirable qualities. Maybe they do when they hit 40. I am hugely generalizing, but in America, young women want mercurial, adventurous, emotionally distant, confident sounding, tough guys. So so solve this problem, you have to either find women who desire your qualities, or build in some of these other qualities (confidence, adventurous, toughness) without turning into a jerk.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#100

Post by [deleted] »

wollyhood wrote: post #43

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

[deleted]
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