Most young men are single. Most young women are not • Hacker News Board

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#11

Post by GalenErso » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:04 PM UTC

A man who is financially autonomous, practices basic hygiene and grooming, wears tasteful clothing, and approaches women with respect and manners has nothing to worry about. You don't need to make 6 figures, to be 6 feet tall, to have the body of The Rock or 2004 Brad Pitt's face. Having one interesting hobby is also a huge plus, even if it's as simple as hiking or jogging. You just need to be minimally interesting.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for those among us who fit in the above, many men fail on one or more of these points. The trueoffmychest and TwoXChromosomes subreddits are full of horror stories about unkempt or disrespectful men.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#12

Post by acidtakes1 » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:04 PM UTC

eimrine wrote: post #2

We need to produce less children, so that trend is perfectly good, isn't it? And the younger the woman the better, isn't that an obvious? What about friendship between men, this is your personal choice. I have more than one really close friend and I can not see myself without that kind of relationship.

We do not need to produce less people.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#13

Post by runsWphotons » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:04 PM UTC

version_five wrote: post #5

throwaway22032 wrote: post #3

Is this surprising? My intuition, backed by approximately 0 data, is that there's a 5 to 10 year age gap preference, such that men prefer to be with slightly younger women and women with slightly older men. As a result, young men don't really have a dating pool. Once they hit 30, as long as they're not total wasters, women will take more interest.

See the chart linked below (third image, after two of the PIs) https://news.iu.edu/live/news/28109-study-reveals-average-ag... the average age that humans had children throughout the past 250,000 years is 26.9. Furthermore, fathers were consistently older, at 30.7 years on average, than mothers, at 23.2 years on average, but the age gap has shrunk in the past 5,000 years, with the study’s most recent estimates of mat…

And doesnt this say that the average maternal age was 23/patenal 30--not the "average age of first child" which would be lower. The average age of first child for women is now over 30 in the us i think. So the difference is huge.

(edit: corrected below)

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#14

Post by HarHarVeryFunny » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:05 PM UTC

throwaway22032 wrote: post #3

Is this surprising? My intuition, backed by approximately 0 data, is that there's a 5 to 10 year age gap preference, such that men prefer to be with slightly younger women and women with slightly older men. As a result, young men don't really have a dating pool. Once they hit 30, as long as they're not total wasters, women will take more interest.

I'd agree - this is hardly news.

What's the next headline ? "Tide comes in twice a day" ?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#15

Post by tokai » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:06 PM UTC

physicist1337 wrote: post #6

throwaway22032 wrote: post #3

Is this surprising? My intuition, backed by approximately 0 data, is that there's a 5 to 10 year age gap preference, such that men prefer to be with slightly younger women and women with slightly older men. As a result, young men don't really have a dating pool. Once they hit 30, as long as they're not total wasters, women will take more interest.

My intuition tells me that it's probably a result of how young people meet these days. A lot of relationships start from dating apps, where it's kind of expected that men will make a first move and then women can filter through them. It's been shown long ago that most men rate most women as above average (in attractiveness), whereas most women rate most men as below average.

>It's been shown long ago that most men rate most women as above average (in attractiveness), whereas most women rate most men as below average.

Is that's from the OkCupid data? While interesting you definitely can't claim that 'it has been shown' if that data is the foundation.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#16

Post by dfxm12 » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:06 PM UTC

Young men "are watching a lot of social media..."

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#17

Post by 4gotunameagain » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:08 PM UTC

Boys addicted to computer games and porn, girls addicted to social media which allow and facilitate sexism (only one way), an increasingly bleak future, economic and geopolitical uncertainty, "intelligence" organisations running rampant trying to control citizen's minds.. Yeah I wonder why our societies are going down the shitter.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#18

Post by runsWphotons » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:08 PM UTC

runsWphotons wrote: post #9

throwaway22032 wrote: post #3

Is this surprising? My intuition, backed by approximately 0 data, is that there's a 5 to 10 year age gap preference, such that men prefer to be with slightly younger women and women with slightly older men. As a result, young men don't really have a dating pool. Once they hit 30, as long as they're not total wasters, women will take more interest.

it is definitely surprising...a big change in last 5-10 years. Women actually dont prefer a v large age gap--less than men and on the order of 2-3 years. Age def explains some of this statistic but isnt enough to explain it all. This is probably also result of slight harem effect and of people categorising relationships differently (man thinks he is single, woman thinks its monogamous etc).

https://twitter.com/datepsych/status/1624071030154096640

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#19

Post by Dalewyn » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:09 PM UTC

The article poses the situation as a problem, and I say "screw that noise" (pun intended) with my anecdote:

I'm a man now in my mid-30s, and I cannot god damn wait until I'm old enough to be out of the "marriage market" so everyone stops fucking pestering me about marriage.

I find absolutely no appeal in the concept. The legal and social risks of associating with women beyond friendships are simply not worth it. I also consider the idea of affecting and being affected by someone to such a deep extent to be a violation of individual freedoms.

Last but not least: I consider it a cardinal sin to create kids and then tell them with a straight face that life is, on average, fucking horrible. You know what it's like to see your parents pass away? To witness their finals days? It's shit. Absolute shit. I refuse to make any kids, my hypothetical kids, suffer that. I'm not even getting into the other nasty aspects of life. Fuck all that.

So marriage can pound sand.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#20

Post by attemptone » Wed, Feb 22, 2023, 2:09 PM UTC

eimrine wrote: post #2

We need to produce less children, so that trend is perfectly good, isn't it? And the younger the woman the better, isn't that an obvious? What about friendship between men, this is your personal choice. I have more than one really close friend and I can not see myself without that kind of relationship.

Poes Law and all, I'll take your comment at face value.

Where does your percieved need to produce less children come from?

One could also argue that older people who are more settled in life make better parents.

The article also points out a decline in male friendships. Having a relationship doesnt automatically exclude friendships and vice versa.

Personally I think that choice has a similar influence on both. Approaching people you meet only as potential and exchangeable players for your DnD setting or as partners for your bedroom will turn them away the same way.