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Dancing is stupid

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Re: Dancing is stupid

#111

Post by Gualdrapo »

When was a little kid I was picked on a lot, even bullied by my dance "teacher" - she was in what in the US is high school but somehow was "teaching" kids.

I was really bad a it, but to make things worse, she yelled at me in my own ears for being bad at it. Mocked me in front of the other kids and such. I ended not only still being bad at dancing, but hating everything related to it.

As dancing was part of the curriculum, I had to endure the trauma for 6 more years. I never did it anymore, nor tried to learn it whatsoever. For a tropical country like this it could sound like nuts, but despite some people looking you down for not doing it, I haven't had much trouble for that in my adult life.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#113

Post by bradlys »

pizza234 wrote: post #110
Darkstryder wrote: post #11

> I’ve never heard of a family being divided because its members dance different styles, but I am in one divided by political and religious opinions. Being a dancer (lindy hop) with a large number of dancers in my social circle, dancing is actually a frequent source of tension among many couples around me. Couples splitting up because one is heavily more invested in dancing than the other is a common occurence. And d…

> And don’t get me started on lindy hop vs west coast swing. I'm puzzled where this comes from, since they're entirely different scenes. On a social dance night, or say, a festival, one may find Blue/Balboa/Lindy Hop (and possibly Shag), but hardly Lindy Hop and West Coast Swing, since the music is different. Edit: Actually, the message that the article sends is exactly what happens - dancers try other dances, then t…

I’d add also that this is really only an issue for some women. Most men I’ve met end up leaving the dance scene once they have a partner - if said partner doesn’t dance.

It’s reflected by polling the crowd. There are way more women in relationships out dancing than there are men out dancing in relationships. Single men dominate the numbers when it comes to dancing.

This is why I don’t really recommend it to most men as a way to meet women. It’s lopsided numbers and it’s hard to stand out in a good way as a beginner - in most dance scenes anyway. That said, if you have a lot of time to kill and are big on learning new skills… it can pan out but it’s a multi-year endeavor that often doesn’t go anywhere.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#114

Post by serverholic »

throw_pm23 wrote: post #73
serverholic wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever someone has done that I end up pretending it’s fine until it’s socially acceptable to stop.

Stop caring so much about what others think..

Just so you know, if I ever met you at a party I probably secretly resent you and I'm guessing I'm not alone.

I DONT LIKE DANCING. I DONT LIKE THE THING THAT YOU LIKE.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#115

Post by martindbp »

darkerside wrote: post #91
martindbp wrote: post #62

I don't look down on dancing, but like with everything really people are just different, there's no Tabula Rasa. No amount of trying will make me enjoy dance (believe me I've tried), just as my wife who is a dancer will never consider an afternoon spent reading a sci-fi novel to be the epitome of happiness. Unfortunately dance is something that pops up at parties and other occasions, and it's implied that you're weir…

You can't change anybody, you can only influence them to change. You can't learn anything from a book that you didn't already know. I don't know how to say it exactly, but I've seen enough people change, and how that happens, to know that you and your wife's tastes may change over time. You don't have to be open to the possibility of you don't want to be, but it does remind me of another phrase: I'm not a math person…

I think we discover more than change. You may think that you don't like dancing but then realize that you actually do. But if you've tried several times and don't like it you're unlikely to change. Twin studies show that twins separated at birth end up with the same interests and very similar lives. In one example twins both ended up leading the local volunteer firefighter departments in their respective towns. That's just an anecdote but the statistics show this as well, it's quite remarkable.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#116

Post by throw_pm23 »

serverholic wrote: post #114
throw_pm23 wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stop caring so much about what others think..

Just so you know, if I ever met you at a party I probably secretly resent you and I'm guessing I'm not alone. I DONT LIKE DANCING. I DONT LIKE THE THING THAT YOU LIKE.

This is fine, I completely get it. My comment was more on the fact that you seem to care enough about what others think that you pretend you like it. Why not just tell people the same thing that you wrote in all caps, possibly adding "fuck off" if they still don't get it.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#117

Post by throw_pm23 »

serverholic wrote: post #34
Trasmatta wrote: post #19

There's something about dancing that people get really weird about if you don't want to participate. As if it's their god given duty to convince you that, no, you really DO like dancing, and you'll have a great time if you just loosen up and have fun. I wish people would just respect "no thank you" and stop trying to push people to do something they clearly don't want. As is, I have to avoid events with dancing. And…

Yeah I just don’t find dancing fun. That’s it, end of story. Wherever there’s dancing at a wedding or something I just think of it as something I have to get through so I don’t appear rude.

As written in another thread, why don't you just tell people to leave you alone if that's what you want. Avoiding to be rude at all costs is a silly goal.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#118

Post by serverholic »

throw_pm23 wrote: post #116
serverholic wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just so you know, if I ever met you at a party I probably secretly resent you and I'm guessing I'm not alone. I DONT LIKE DANCING. I DONT LIKE THE THING THAT YOU LIKE.

This is fine, I completely get it. My comment was more on the fact that you seem to care enough about what others think that you pretend you like it. Why not just tell people the same thing that you wrote in all caps, possibly adding "fuck off" if they still don't get it.

Because then my choices are:

1) give in and pretend to go along with it.

2) look like an asshole at a wedding.

Sorry if I don’t want to ruin someone’s wedding lol.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#119

Post by [deleted] »

frodetb wrote: post #80

I've been surprised to find myself making multiple similar pivots over the years. A lot of what I dismissed in my younger years as lacking of intellectual merit, I have come around to value much more highly than I ever would have guessed. It's funny, but dancing in particular has been my greatest fear for as long as I can remember, so I've always done my best to avoid situations where I'd be forced to do it. Not only…

[deleted]

Re: Dancing is stupid

#120

Post by giardini »

dav_Oz wrote: post #25

Incidentally a helpful dichotomy in this regard is laid out in Nietzsche's first major work: The Birth of Tragedy Out of the Spirit of Music (he was a superb classical philologist by trade and one of the youngest tenured "Classics" professors at the age of 24): Apollonian/Dionysian [0] > Dancing forces you to be here and now—connecting you with your and your partner’s body. Dancing is a means of irrational communicat…

>"...laid out in Nietzsche's first major work..."

Now that you bring it up, does it help? That is, does dancing help you get laid?

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