My brother passed down my grandma's advice on college, which was to believe that you will pick up the things you need to know one way or another so take the opportunity to learn things you will probably never encounter again. It definitely still resonates with me when I think about what skills I want to develop outside of work
Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
171–180 of 281 posts
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#172Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#173Earlier quoted context omitted.
The last sentence sounds like a reward. Moreover, if I were to follow your advice, it would create an expectation of an exceptional discovery, that would cause me suffering, if not met.
That's a very valid point but I believe you touched upon the answer yourself, follow the advice but not because you want the exceptional discovery. Simply because.
Sure, I get it. BTW initially, when I read your post, I thought to myself - that's how my Roomba lives its live. It does things not for a reward, but out of inevitability. It was just constructed to be that way. Surely it's not on its way to enlightenment. But then I was reminded of the plot of a short film Zima Blue. If you ever find yourself with a Netflix subscription, you should watch it.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#174If taking a nap is both practical and sounds like a good idea, do it. Being well rested just makes every single thing you do easier and better.
Conversely, and this may just apply to me personally, whatever it is, I'm not going to get up earlier in the morning to do it, unless there are serious consequences for not doing it.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#175Earlier quoted context omitted.
I disagree but I am curious, what makes you think it’s a myth?
First, thank you for asking, I already appreciate your constructive approach. Now I would like to be more precise: I assert that, at the very least, male-female-friendship is a deviation from the rule . I.e., it is not expected to work, but it can in some instances. Why? Because male and female are by default and by nature sexually attracted to each other, and if not then that is simply unexpected . In fact, there ar…
Not romantically or sexually attracted to my sister, my auntie, anyone too old for me, anyone too young for me, anyone who smokes, anyone who belittles waitstaff, peopke who overindulge (fillers, etc), people with hairy armpits, people who have strong masculine traits, people who do not wash to my standard etc;etc;etc;
There's limitless numbers of people I am genuinely not attracted to, are you saying they can't be my friends either?
Even the study you cite says “some” of the people started catching feelings.
I much more readily believe that you are either attracted or you're not, and while thats subject to change with appearance changes and so on, it is basically normal to have people you’re not (and are extremely unlikely to be) attracted to.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#176Earlier quoted context omitted.
First, thank you for asking, I already appreciate your constructive approach. Now I would like to be more precise: I assert that, at the very least, male-female-friendship is a deviation from the rule . I.e., it is not expected to work, but it can in some instances. Why? Because male and female are by default and by nature sexually attracted to each other, and if not then that is simply unexpected . In fact, there ar…
Not romantically or sexually attracted to my sister, my auntie, anyone too old for me, anyone too young for me, anyone who smokes, anyone who belittles waitstaff, peopke who overindulge (fillers, etc), people with hairy armpits, people who have strong masculine traits, people who do not wash to my standard etc;etc;etc; There's limitless numbers of people I am genuinely not attracted to, are you saying they can't be m…
Obviously excluding family, since I'm appealing to nature. You're not naturally sexually attracted to your immediate family members, i.e. it would be a deviation form the norm if that occurred.
But I can't believe that's your best retort to my argument, when it should be quite obvious that's not what I'm referring to.
And yes you may not be attracted to them, but that doesn't mean some of them aren't to you.
Also it's important to understand I'm not saying you're immediately attracted to any female. That is not my argument. So it's pointless to point out you're not attracted to some random girl who smokes.
I'm simply saying that given a male and female forming a friendship, there is every reason to expect that OVER TIME, at least one of the two's affection will reach sexual levels.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#177Earlier quoted context omitted.
I disagree but I am curious, what makes you think it’s a myth?
First, thank you for asking, I already appreciate your constructive approach. Now I would like to be more precise: I assert that, at the very least, male-female-friendship is a deviation from the rule . I.e., it is not expected to work, but it can in some instances. Why? Because male and female are by default and by nature sexually attracted to each other, and if not then that is simply unexpected . In fact, there ar…
Oh, thank you for mentioning that. That’s why HN is the only place where I interact with other users, civil disagreement is appreciated. :)
Ok, I kind of agree with what you are saying. But I come to a different conclusion. I hope my text below isn’t a long unintelligible rambling.
Maybe it boils down to how one defines friendship and if friendly affection and sexual affection can coexist. I sorta see a Wenn diagram for this.
Say that I have sexual fantasies about a friend but my friend doesn’t share those fantasies. There is nothing from letting these feelings coexist inside me.
Is it easy? Not necessarily, but I believe it is it possible. One might even have to go see a therapist, so what?
I could even be so honest towards my friend and say: “Look, we are friends, but I also have romantic feelings towards you and it’s hard since you don’t feel that way. Which is totally ok! So I need a couple of weeks where we don’t hang out and it will pass”.
In that scenario, are we still friends? I believe we are. I am making an effort to make the friendship work. But I also need my friend to respect me and my boundaries.
And once those feelings has passed, because my experience is that they do, then we can continue being friends. If I wasn’t able to let those feelings coexist inside me while hanging out with that person.
One last thing. I cherish friendships, it gives me so much joy. And true friendship, that affection you mention, is also rare. So it’s not the best route to automatically exclude half of the population from being friends with you. So there is a lot to be gained from framing these different feelings of affection in a way so that they coexist. Then we get to reap the rewards of many great friendships.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#178Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not romantically or sexually attracted to my sister, my auntie, anyone too old for me, anyone too young for me, anyone who smokes, anyone who belittles waitstaff, peopke who overindulge (fillers, etc), people with hairy armpits, people who have strong masculine traits, people who do not wash to my standard etc;etc;etc; There's limitless numbers of people I am genuinely not attracted to, are you saying they can't be m…
Obviously excluding family, since I'm appealing to nature. You're not naturally sexually attracted to your immediate family members, i.e. it would be a deviation form the norm if that occurred. But I can't believe that's your best retort to my argument, when it should be quite obvious that's not what I'm referring to. And yes you may not be attracted to them, but that doesn't mean some of them aren't to you. Also it'…
My point was that there are plenty of people I’m not attracted to, not just family, whole entire categories of people.
I am also not exactly attractive. So I see no reason to believe they are attracted to me.
You just assume too much here for me to take it seriously.
If you are saying, sincerely, that every woman I am friends with is secretly attracted to me then I’m going to have some really awkward conversations.
I have plenty of friends who are women, it feels so ordinary that I can’t even imagine a world where this is not normal.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#179Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#180Listening is the most underrated skill.