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Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

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Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#161

Post by logicalmonster »

Somebody a little topical. I don't know if Andy Reid is a perfect man in his personal life, but other than sometimes being indescribably confusing at clock-management, he's a hell of a football coach and exemplifies a lot of great leadership qualities that are worth observing.

From following his career very early on, he had a few great things that stuck with me.

> Preparation. He got the coveted job as an NFL head coach even though he was just a QB Coach and not even at the offensive coordinator level because he prepared a thick-ass notebook filled with his ideas of how he'd manage the team, scouting reports of players and coaches, lists of plays, and other things he'd do as head coach. This level of preparation and attention to detail greatly impressed the team's ownership.

> Consistency. He always had his way for preparing for a game or building a team and never deviated from it. Despite successes and failures, he'd always stick with pre-scripting the first 15 plays of the game to set a particular tone in the offense, as an example.

> Stoicism. When things were going well, he'd never gloat and get people too overconfident. When things were going bad, he'd never panic. He'd always be a rock out there that would keep people focused and level-headed.

> Egoless. He was willing to take the blame for something in public that wasn't his fault, and then deal with the players behind closed doors. He'd be willing to make self-deprecating jokes to diffuse a tough situation, putting the mission above his ego.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#162

Post by madduci »

ted_bunny wrote: post #154
glenngillen wrote: post #48

Work and career progression: “always take the interview”. I reported direct to the CEO at a startup and I told him our largest customer had headhunted me, and I assumed I wasn’t special and they’re probably targeting many of us. He asked me what the process was like and what the offer was, and when I told him I didn’t take the initial call hand he shook his head. “You always take the interview. Absolute worst case is…

"Never stop dating"

Even if you are married?

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#163

Post by Syntonicles »

bosky101 wrote: post #134

- to get what you have never got, be prepared to do what you have never done - do not allow your inbox to manage your time - Manage, or be managed - people overpay to have you keep doing what you were already doing before. - win:wins - most people do not experience pmf that then warps their thinking into plateaus of mediocrity - it is mighty difficult to create wealth being an employee. Most mansions, large homes in…

Pmf?

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#164

Post by borroka »

modernerd wrote: post #75
bloqs wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work. This fundamentally works, for a small subset of people that are predisposed via their personality to extremely high levels of dilligence and conscientiousness who need to be told to stop working. If you are the opposite, this advice basically says "stop sacrificing the short term for the long term, and stop working towards difficult but ultimately w…

It's not a rallying cry for hedonism, short-termism or defeatism. It's a suggestion to correct course; to be self-aware; to get over your fears; to ensure you're pursuing things you find worthwhile and believe in; to accept that even for those things you will have days when you don't love them, but to consider a change if that feeling persists. He goes on to say, “…all external expectations, all pride, all fear of em…

I don't like the appeals to mortality (at all), the "things just fall away in the face of death" argument. It is like "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" all over again.

The "regrets" sound good, are honey for our eyes and ears. But of course, we reason, they should have—it's always them, not us—thought more about family and less about work, picked up the phone and called their friend, written a note to the family members who had invited them to their wedding anniversary.

In the end, we don't call our friend because we don't feel like it, maybe we tell ourselves that if we weren't so lazy and busy we would do it, as if laziness were an unappealable sentence instead of a choice. We don't change jobs not because we are afraid, but because we make some calculations about trade-offs.

We prefer to spend time at work rather than with the family maybe because the wife or husband has put on forty pounds since the wedding, and children surely are the greatest joy, but if we were to go back in time maybe we wouldn't make them. Plus, if we hadn't worked all those hours, who would have thrown money around the house? How can we be on social media instead of talking to our family members, friends, kids, spouse, some may ask. Maybe we are not just a victim of the times, it is just that we have talked to our friends 1500 times and in our pocket there is a world that engages us, interest us. We would have loved to be more adventurous in expressing our feelings, of course, but we were well aware that those we wanted would never come with us.

We live life now and, apart from some unfortunate fellows, we are not likely to die tomorrow or in one week or in one year. Embarrassment will maybe go away when we are dying, but what about the 10/20/30 years or more between now and then?

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#165

Post by jdthedisciple »

thfuran wrote: post #127
jdthedisciple wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say do that, but with men. Men of good character, morals, aspirations and goals. Platonic friendship between men and women is a myth. (Exceptions exists, but only confirm the rule)

That's not how confirmation works.

I mean you're right, but what I really meant is that exceptions don't disprove the rule which is based on sound reasoning (see my answer to the guy that actually asked)

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#166

Post by jdthedisciple »

dijit wrote: post #110
jdthedisciple wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say do that, but with men. Men of good character, morals, aspirations and goals. Platonic friendship between men and women is a myth. (Exceptions exists, but only confirm the rule)

> Platonic friendship between men and women is a myth. I must tell my friends about this, they will be distressed.

I bet at least some of them will actually agree with me.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#167

Post by jdthedisciple »

_zzaw wrote: post #156
jdthedisciple wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd say do that, but with men. Men of good character, morals, aspirations and goals. Platonic friendship between men and women is a myth. (Exceptions exists, but only confirm the rule)

Don't mistake your own failings for universal ones.

Cmon, what are you - a jellyfish?

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#168

Post by foobazzy »

- "if you're counting the days since you last had it, you truly haven't given it up"

It's about baggage and addiction. If you can't remember the last time you had it, then you've truly mastered the 'letting go' part

- "try everything, don't get addicted to anything"

My father said that to me when I was going to college. It took me a few years to understand what it meant.

- "accept reality as it is, not as you believe it to be, nor as you wish it was...then, adapt"

Paraphrasing from memory. I read it in a book about Jack Welch and GE when I was a teenager. Internalising this has helped me stay calm and analytical during tough situations.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#169

Post by borroka »

I had planned a 3-day trip with a person (a date, let's say) whom I had met for the first time a few weeks earlier for a couple of days. I was not familiar with either the place or my date.

A few days before the trip, I saw a friend of mine, the same age as my parents. During the conversation, I asked him what to do with my date during those 3 days. He replied, "Come up with something."

Isn't that brilliant advice? When we are stuck, we have the option of coming up with something.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#170

Post by evanmoran »

Pinegulf wrote: post #50
65 wrote: post #19

"Listen to no one" - Eric Andre

I don't get this. Is there some context that's missing?

I think it is meant to be true and also funny. First, you can start by agreeing with the advice, imagining how listening to other’s advice can be overrated. Then you realize that by listening to Andre you are actually breaking Andre’s advice (to listen to no one, including him!). So the advice is impossible to follow and quite clever.
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