That's the nice thing about having multiple kids. The second kid situation is only 4 times harder than the single kid situation.
A second kid is nice in theory. In practice it sounds like a nightmare.
In the long run assuming the age gap is only a year or two it's actually beneficial. First couple years are very hard but after that they are friends and entertain each other. Sure they fight but when they are getting along and helping each other out it's peace on earth.
Schedule can get challenging. Kids are all pretty much great by the time they hit 8 years old. It's a bear to get there though.
Plus they are paired up at boxing so they get most of their resentment out there :)
If INTPenis hears anything I hope it's that not having kids isn't the root of this problem. I have kids and it's wonderful, but I too feel all the same lethargy and lack of purpose interspersed with bouts of helping kids with their homework and relentlessly getting their grumpy asses to school at ungodly hours every day and generally trying hard not to fuck them up. If you're already in a shitty situation, having kid…
This. Kids don't help with burnout. I drive my kids to school each morning at 7:20. This is preceded by 35 minutes of insanity asking them 100 times to get out of bed, eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, etc. This morning on the drive in, I got in an argument with my kid over the stupidest thing that is probably my fault but the result was he got out of the car upset and I drove back home irritated,…
To me the problem here, is an unreasonable attitude by the employer. Many employees are parents. We cannot work at quite the same breakneck pace. Its abusive to the whole family to expect that. Employers need to understand and make allowances, and they themselves will benefit if they treat people reasonably. You could always go work for public sector though, perhaps the government, and/or ask to work 4 days a week. The salary hit is more than worth it, even if that requires some real frugality or change in lifestyle. Time spent with kids is precious. More chilled out parents make for more chilled and better behaved (though far from perfect ;) kids. I think the garbage truck guys have to get up early so that might not be compatible ;). Might be in a union though, so salary hit might be less than expected ;)
This only happened once to me as a kid, and only for a few hours. I can still remember being in tears, inconsolable, trying to explain to my father that “the train” was missing an important part, and that if I didn’t find the part, the train wouldn’t be able to go. I don’t remember what the part was supposed to do. I only remember that it was shaped like a cube. I looked through my bedroom for it, convinced that it w…
Interesting, this actually sounds a lot like one of those typical dreams where you have to do something specific, and a lot depends on it, and for various reasons, it can't happen or goes haywire..
Back in 1980 I moved into a shared house in Sydney and one night I was woken up by commotion in the adjoining back yard. A man was sitting naked on top of the Hills Hoist hosing himself with cold water in the middle of winter and shouting "You're all as plastic as my little red guitar". Police and ambulance arrived and he was carted off. Neighbours told me that he was a computer programmer. Somehow I wiped this memor…
“Plastic as my little red guitar” is a savage burn though. :) I hope he got to a better place too.
A second kid is nice in theory. In practice it sounds like a nightmare.
In the long run assuming the age gap is only a year or two it's actually beneficial. First couple years are very hard but after that they are friends and entertain each other. Sure they fight but when they are getting along and helping each other out it's peace on earth. Schedule can get challenging. Kids are all pretty much great by the time they hit 8 years old. It's a bear to get there though. Plus they are paired…
> Kids are all pretty much great by the time they hit 8 years old.
Having a rather tricky 10 year old, I think this magic number is a bit off.
Yes sure, but I don't categorise these episodes as losing the plot. Per my perception I've gone "missing in action" for some months or even a few years during my life. Did not check any inboxes or report to anyone. For me, these episodes have been valuable, but yes, I am guilty of neglecting my family and friends during these periods. Summa summarum I think in some situations it is the only rational option. As Bertra…
In the long run assuming the age gap is only a year or two it's actually beneficial. First couple years are very hard but after that they are friends and entertain each other. Sure they fight but when they are getting along and helping each other out it's peace on earth. Schedule can get challenging. Kids are all pretty much great by the time they hit 8 years old. It's a bear to get there though. Plus they are paired…
> Kids are all pretty much great by the time they hit 8 years old. Having a rather tricky 10 year old, I think this magic number is a bit off.
*results may vary. Not a guarantee of actual performance
This. Kids don't help with burnout. I drive my kids to school each morning at 7:20. This is preceded by 35 minutes of insanity asking them 100 times to get out of bed, eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, etc. This morning on the drive in, I got in an argument with my kid over the stupidest thing that is probably my fault but the result was he got out of the car upset and I drove back home irritated,…
To me the problem here, is an unreasonable attitude by the employer. Many employees are parents. We cannot work at quite the same breakneck pace. Its abusive to the whole family to expect that. Employers need to understand and make allowances, and they themselves will benefit if they treat people reasonably. You could always go work for public sector though, perhaps the government, and/or ask to work 4 days a week. T…
You are not wrong.
9 meetings so far today. All booked over my blocked work time.
I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…
> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…
> I constantly find myself in a state of paralysis where I know what to do, I know how to do it, I even know how to do it quickly so it can be over and done, but I still just don't want to START anything.
I'm stuck in the same position you described, except that I want to, but pretty much everyone around me is actively preventing me to work on anything.
This. Kids don't help with burnout. I drive my kids to school each morning at 7:20. This is preceded by 35 minutes of insanity asking them 100 times to get out of bed, eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, etc. This morning on the drive in, I got in an argument with my kid over the stupidest thing that is probably my fault but the result was he got out of the car upset and I drove back home irritated,…
I feel this. I am having a really hard time coping with parenting. I am logical person but my toddler is not. I like reading books and just silence which allows me to think. That is completely gone in our house now. It is mostly crying, screaming, followed by more crying. There are some beautiful moments that I will cherish, but I really have a hard time. Other times, we are asking to brush teeth, get ready for bed,…
It takes a village to raise a kid so find your village.