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Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

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Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#281

Post by heleninboodler »

avgDev wrote: post #274
wonderwonder wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. Kids don't help with burnout. I drive my kids to school each morning at 7:20. This is preceded by 35 minutes of insanity asking them 100 times to get out of bed, eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush their teeth, etc. This morning on the drive in, I got in an argument with my kid over the stupidest thing that is probably my fault but the result was he got out of the car upset and I drove back home irritated,…

I feel this. I am having a really hard time coping with parenting. I am logical person but my toddler is not. I like reading books and just silence which allows me to think. That is completely gone in our house now. It is mostly crying, screaming, followed by more crying. There are some beautiful moments that I will cherish, but I really have a hard time. Other times, we are asking to brush teeth, get ready for bed,…

I think the answer is that they're not all equally challenging. My first kid is easy as pie. Still a lot of work, but generally does what's asked of her, has rarely thrown fits, is quiet, etc. The second kid is a constant battle.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#282

Post by wonderwonder »

heleninboodler wrote: post #281
avgDev wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel this. I am having a really hard time coping with parenting. I am logical person but my toddler is not. I like reading books and just silence which allows me to think. That is completely gone in our house now. It is mostly crying, screaming, followed by more crying. There are some beautiful moments that I will cherish, but I really have a hard time. Other times, we are asking to brush teeth, get ready for bed,…

I think the answer is that they're not all equally challenging. My first kid is easy as pie. Still a lot of work, but generally does what's asked of her, has rarely thrown fits, is quiet, etc. The second kid is a constant battle.

That's the nice thing about having multiple kids. The second kid situation is only 4 times harder than the single kid situation.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#283

Post by jurassic »

luxuryballs wrote: post #190
jurassic wrote: post #43

I think it is worth probably talking with a mental health professional about your experience. Even if you feel normal, you may not be the best person to judge whether you are actually behaving normally now or not. It is good to arm yourself with facts and opinions from experts, even if you choose not to act on the information now. And it can be useful to share the professional diagnosis with trusted friends or family…

I’ve always wondered how suicide becomes a viable option in the human mind, like at some point in life did we learn about it or is it a more natural mental progression? Like I wonder if someone raised in isolation would ever come up with the idea of killing yourself on their own or if it has to come from some outside influence. To be clear I’ve had thoughts like that too but I just can’t recall if I came up with it o…

People choose suicide when their pain exceeds their resources for coping with pain. I think if I lived my entire existence on a desert island, I’d still have no trouble coming up with the idea to suicide if I was sufficiently miserable.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#284

Post by cloverich »

raffraffraff wrote: post #54
tetsuhamu wrote: post #46

Yes, I have. No, it's not normal. Yes, it "just happens" to some people, where "some people" are the set of people with pre-existing undiagnosed problems. I got treatment for it. It means you've had an underlying issue. It probably wasn't entirely caused by the work-related stress. After it happens, you know somethin's up, or could be up at any unpredictable time. My goal in therapy and with medication is to manage t…

While what you are saying may be 100% true, I think that basically everybody is capable of being driven over the edge by chronic stress. Everybody has a tipping point. That's normal. Perhaps the difference is what occurs after that point.

Yes and no. OP is drawing out a very important point that despite everyone having a tipping point, psychiatric illness is very real and very different from what most people's tipping point looks like, both in trigger and outcome. It's less like a linear scale and more like an on/off switch when it hits. Having an understanding of what it looks like, how to help manage it, and what can / cannot be controlled, can be the difference in having a good (recoverable) outcome vs a really bad one.

It's not to disparage stress and its impact on all of us, but what happens to folks w/ psychiatric illness is a whole other level of devastating.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#285

Post by rshaban »

Hi, if you want to chat, please send me a dm or email. I dn't think you're an outlier but rather perhaps an activated human who hasn't received the kind of support they might need to make use of their "abilities" and is perhaps an overwhelmed "empath" to use a modern jargon. If you've interest in sharing what your internal experience was – outside of the judgment/shame filter that "I'm not like everybody else" then I'd be happy to hear it – with love,

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#287

Post by giantg2 »

INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

Kids will not help this. Now that I have a kid, I have less time to focus on work and more distractions at home. There's a lot more pressure to provide and multiple family medical issues add even more pressure due to bills. Handling those issues also seems to have caused or accelerated burnout.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#288

Post by giantg2 »

wonderwonder wrote: post #282
heleninboodler wrote: post #281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the answer is that they're not all equally challenging. My first kid is easy as pie. Still a lot of work, but generally does what's asked of her, has rarely thrown fits, is quiet, etc. The second kid is a constant battle.

That's the nice thing about having multiple kids. The second kid situation is only 4 times harder than the single kid situation.

A second kid is nice in theory. In practice it sounds like a nightmare.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#289

Post by mayormcmatt »

INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

Man, this describes me to a T (just that I'm a touch older). Recently I've begun therapy to try and drill to the center of the issue; in the meantime, I'm attempting to pivot my career away from e-commerce web development into something more "useful," like working for a utility, or something along those lines.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#290

Post by throoowwawaayy »

luxuryballs wrote: post #190
jurassic wrote: post #43

I think it is worth probably talking with a mental health professional about your experience. Even if you feel normal, you may not be the best person to judge whether you are actually behaving normally now or not. It is good to arm yourself with facts and opinions from experts, even if you choose not to act on the information now. And it can be useful to share the professional diagnosis with trusted friends or family…

I’ve always wondered how suicide becomes a viable option in the human mind, like at some point in life did we learn about it or is it a more natural mental progression? Like I wonder if someone raised in isolation would ever come up with the idea of killing yourself on their own or if it has to come from some outside influence. To be clear I’ve had thoughts like that too but I just can’t recall if I came up with it o…

I personally felt like I was self-culling from the herd, like some kind of evolutionary group damage-control program was activated. A switch flipped and I wanted to be as far away from everyone as possible. I don’t know if that’s a real thing though.
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