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Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
71–80 of 122 posts
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#72Babywise is a good overview book, but the most useful thing for us was the companion PDF since there's no fluff. They have it freely available here: http://babywise.life/audiobook
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#73Another comment mentioned her, but check out Emily Oster’s books. Data-driven, no bullshit.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#74So much good advice here I will just add one extremely practical tip: open and prepare the new diaper and pull out 5 wipes before you actually start changing them, doing it midflight is next to impossible.
And take good pictures and video and write down the funny things they say, I still enjoy looking back at them after all these years.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#75Even though it's something that's not much talked about in public the first thing I would recommend doing, and I absolutely hope it won't happen to you, is not to get too attached yet. You're still very early, 10 weeks probably, and the chances of having a miscarriage are far from zero. For me, I wasn't prepared at all, it was the saddest I've remembered ever feeling. After that, having done some looking things up, i…
This good and uncommon advice. We had a miscarriage a day after the ?th week, when it's widely viewed as safe to "go public" and also a day after when my wife posted pics of the ultrasounds and stuff on social and went public. It's hard enough living it in private, the public part was the worst part because long after you got over it you still have people asking you "when are you due?" and having to reexplain it and…
> still have people asking you "when are you due?"
This seems like a topic where it's good to assume that if they haven't told you, you shouldn't ask. People who are expecting or trying for a child will be excited enough to want to talk about it and if they haven't brought it up, there's a possibly sore reason for that.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#76As others have said, the "what to expect" books were my go-to's. Helped get through pregnancy and into the toddler years. I'd recommend those books to any parent-to-be.
I suppose I should have added more to this for a new soon-to-be dad:
* It's not as hard as you think. Babies are resilient!
* You don't need nearly as much clothes/equipment as the baby industry wants to sell you.
* Yeah, it may (or may not) take a few weeks for your baby to sleep through the night. Even so they tend to only get up once.
* Changing diapers is no big deal, especially for a baby.
* Enjoy it! It really is all over as fast as it began. My oldest flew the coup a few years back and it really does seem like yesterday when they were born. Your kid will be in college before you know it.
* Finally, lots of things in life will start to make sense. Raising children gives you a certain perspective on things, and no, watching someone else's kids from time-to-time isn't even remotely close to the 24x7, no days off responsibility of raising kids.
* If I could change anything I would have liked to have had more kids, but I already had 3. There's a lot of logistics pushing back on you to cap it at 3. TBH, there's a lot of logistics pushing back on you to cap it at 2. But we had 3 anyway! Bwhahahahahahaha!
Like I said, get your "what to expect" books, take it as guidance and not gospel, remember every kid is different.
Oh, and before I go - this is a bit darker issue - don't try to live vicariously through your kids, don't impose your hopes and dreams onto them. They're different people, they'll have different hopes and dreams. Your job is to help them figure out who they are and help them take the steps they need to realize their hopes and dreams. Just always remember they're their own people, not xerox copies.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#77Keep 'em clean, keep 'em fed, keep 'em near you (they can wander father as they age), do your best. That pretty much sums up all the advice, I think. Good luck, kids are fun. edit: You have time to get a puppy, now; and learn to deal with all the shit on easy mode. When the baby happens the puppy will be the perfect age to be an actual help watching the baby, and help raise the kid.
> Keep 'em clean, keep 'em fed, keep 'em near you (they can wander father as they age), do your best. > That pretty much sums up all the advice, I think. Good luck, kids are fun. Agreed. > edit: You have time to get a puppy, now; and learn to deal with all the shit on easy mode. When the baby happens the puppy will be the perfect age to be an actual help watching the baby, and help raise the kid. What is this insanit…
We'll have to agree to disagree on the dog question. Our catahoula was very attentive to our daughter, but she was the youngest of an established pack, and as such "puppy duty" fell to her anyway. In addition she was an especially mothering example of the breed.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#78Earlier quoted context omitted.
I agree with commenter that there's a good reason general advice doesn't exist. I have some tips for the first couple of months that I collected in an iOS note after the second kid, but they're all little practical things that are pretty personal and make me sound like a crazy person, which to me proves the point. Baby tips - have some of the next size diaper around so you can try it earlier instead of making the kid…
> - changing table in your bedroom Unless you want the child in their own room as soon as possible. If you can hear your child from your own bedroom having a room dedicated to the child is a good way to keep a little bit of space to yourself and your partner (and stop your bedroom from smelling like baby poop and wet wipes). Some people are into what's known as 'attachment parenting' where you keep the baby in a cot…
Can you elaborate on why you think that people who sleep in the same bed as the baby are "idiots"?
In most non-western cultures, the mother sleeping in close proximity to the baby is the norm and anything else is considered quite unusual.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#79Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you link to some of these studies? This medical advice you are dispensing online disagrees with what I've been told by doctors and nurses. Also not sure if you have a kid but I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that making a sick infant comfortable is not worthwhile.
Here: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/127/3/e20103... "It should be emphasized that fever is not an illness but is, in fact, a physiologic mechanism that has beneficial effects in fighting infection" "and limited data have revealed that fever actually helps the body recover more quickly from viral infections, although the fever may result in discomfort in children." "There is no evidence that children…
In my experience, sick babies do not want to sleep in their crib. Nor in the car. They would be frightened and uncomfortable and want to be held.
Tylenol is not for treating the illness. Maybe the parents you're referring to don't know what it does. It is meant for decreasing the intensity of the symptoms. One of those symptoms could be a fever and potentially the body aches that come with that. But then you have to define the word "fever".
Giving the baby Tylenol as you're describing is probably not a good idea. Using it as the tool it is meant to be I would say is.
Re: Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?
#80The vast majority of parenting advice out there is sanctimonious BS pushed by people who are either following a fad, using it as a way to establish themselves as some sort of in-group, or with some commercial motivation. For example, breastfeeding and sleep training are a minefield of guilt-tripping and unsubstantiated strongly held opinions. (If your partner does end up breastfeeding - which is by no means necessary…
No kidding. The mismatch between common recommendations in North America, and what people do all the world over is huge. Co-sleeping in particular is this bizarre thing where all the professionals warn against it as if you're playing Russian roulette, while half the people I know do it themselves (and are afraid to talk about it). Nevermind that essentially the rest of the world does it, and we did it before 5 minute…
Australia here. It's the same as you described. If you don't go with option X then you clearly should not be trusted with the safety of your own children. Even though option X changes depending on where you are and who you talk to and cultures and mindsets and as time progresses. "Do as I say or you're an idiot".