Ask HN: Concise, pragmatic baby manual for first-time dad?

They are a few weeks long, e.g. an evening a week. They cover the basics you mentioned, including practical stuff for the parents and the baby around pregnancy, birth and infancy. Being part of a cohort was valuable for discussing and socialising the ideas, and it was far more valuable to me than e.g. reading from a book. They were also a great support group in those early days.

Having a baby is like stepping onto a speeding escalator with no end in sight. It's amazing but incredibly draining. You can't be prepared for that, but getting habituated to the idea is useful, I think.

And if there was something you wanted to do or experience (movie, holiday, etc), do it before the baby comes.

And finally, you can't cuddle a baby too much. Give it as much love and attention as you can possibly spare.

[0] https://www.nct.org.uk/courses-workshops/nct-antenatal-cours...

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin - a handbook for all things labor and delivery, wonderful reference, and very cheap to get secondhand

Cribsheet by Emily Oster - data driven early childhood decisions. Super helpful from one month to 18 months.

Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman - skip the book and read the 100 point appendix for max bang for least time invested (though I found it an enjoyable read)

Things no book told me:

* infants have no circadian rhythms for the first month or two, so you and your partner are largely in survival mode. Do what you can to help your partner get some sleep. We’ve found shift sleeping to be very helpful.

* Consider cooking and freezing a bunch of food a few weeks before your due date. Being able to heat up some pasta sauce or a burrito when you’re insane from sleep dep is a godsend.

Good luck. Everyone will want to tell you about the hard parts. No one can tell you about the rewards, and they are fabulous. I love being a dad and I hope you do too.

Edit: if it’s within your means, and you’re at all antsy about labor and delivery, a doula is a wonderful resource for you during delivery. Helps get the laboring partner through, and a good support for the other partner.

- Make sure they have filled out (this list of required legal documents before you can start work)

- Make sure you have an onboarding plan. Here's what an example onboarding plan might look like.

- Have 1:1s with your manager. Here are some topics you might want to cover in your first week, first month, first quarter, and first year.

For a baby-related illustration - I know, for example, that I'll need to change diapers & make sure the baby is clean. I've never changed a baby's diaper before, so I'll probably watch a bunch of youtube videos and also ask if a friend with a baby will give me a tutorial beforehand. But that's a known unknown for me. I would like to know all of the other basic knowledge that every parent is going to need to have, in order to be successful. So I'm not looking for "advice," I truly am looking for the most fundamental, universal guidance. A great example from my wife's doctor was a 1-page list of things she should stop eating and a 1-page list of medications she can safely take while pregnant.

I became a dad 17 months ago. I would do both 1 & 2 if possible, and 3 if you feel like it. Total time cost is less than a weekend.

1. The Birth Partner - https://www.pennysimkin.com/shop/the-birth-partner-5th-editi...

You can get by just skipping to the yellow-highlighted pages. They're 1-2 page How To's or summaries. Like a checklist of the stuff to put in your Go Bag.

2. Talk to different types of people about parenting and make notes about what's most important to you.

Don't leave out older people. Despite the mass amount of new literature about how to raise kids, being a parent hasn't changed that much in 2 generations.

3. Expecting Better - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/310896/expecting-be...

Easy to skip to just the chapters you want to learn about. E.g. if you end up needing/wanting genetic testing, you could read that chapter and nothing else.