Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

Covid isolation, lack of separation between remote work and personal life and a having a 2-year at home at all times without family help led me to two consecutive visits to a mental hospital. I had never experienced any signs of mental illness other than some mild depression and anxiety. I was well into my 30s. However, with my mental break, I was fully gone for about a month and half.

It wasn't fossils for me, At various points, I believed that:

- I was dead

- Water is the only thing needed to sustain human life and we're all being poisoned

- My daughter was dead

- I was in hell

- I was abducted by aliens

- I was in a real life version of the Simpsons (where I was Bart Simpson and the other mental hospital patients were other characters)

- I had perfect pitch and could harmonize better than Brian Wilson

- I was a genius

- My mom and dad were trying to kill me

- I was the spiritual successor to Daniel Johnston

- I could travel through time

I had to go through 14+ ECT procedures to come back to reality and the transition back reality was the most difficult experience of my life as I felt broken was deeply, deeply depressed and suicidal and that I was failure to my family. It was and has been very isolating to not have an outlet to talk about this experience with anyone. This is a throwaway account, but I have an email if in my profile if you (or anyone else) wants to discuss mental health issues honestly and not feel so alone or judged.

1. Its burnout

2. Its depression

3. Its midlife crisis

None of these are defined or have a 'cure' . So whats the point of these diagnosis.

As a parent, I'm not so sure. I think every person is different, and some people (myself) respond really well to having kids. They give you a purpose in life and make everything seem more meaningful.

Other people absolutely do not get as much out of having kids, and it feels like a grind to them.

People are just different, nothing wrong with that at all. IMO problems may arise when your reality is misaligned with the kind of person you are.

Or it could be something else entirely.

I lost my job because the company closed, then my relationship fell apart after 10 years, I somehow managed to find another job but then this company _also_ shutdown, then immediately after COVID hit and during that extreme period of anxiety and loneliness I found out my dad is gravely ill..

I eventually manage to dig myself out but it required a lot of hard work and mental discipline.

There was a Church near my house which remained opened during COVID due to it being empty 90% of the time. One day I was driving and passed by it and for some reason decided to go in (I always considered myself a rational Atheist) and just sitting there looking at the Altar gave me peace. After a while of doing this, I noticed a shift in my mentality.

I started reading and researching things I had never interest in: religious texts, philosophy, history and art. This helped me expand my mind, I realized that instead of licking my wounds, I could focus on my neighbors and those in need and that people in history had gone though harsher times and survived for me to be here, so I owe it to them to keep going.

I finally I made a decision to start exercising, eating healthy, sleeping, setting a routine and slowly recover.

As a side note, I eventually ended up converting to Catholicism but that is unrelated to above, in fact my conversion didn't even start until a year after and it took a lot of effort and convincing.

If you are reading this and are struggling, know that you are not alone. My heart beats for you as a stranger and if anything, I need you to keep going because our survival depends on each other.