Not like that, but I worked at a startup that was on its fifth (or so) pivot. Worked many 12 hour days, heaps of crunch.
I’m still on the BP medicine because it stressed me out so much.
Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
141–150 of 361 posts
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're burnt out. We've all been there. Focus on yourself to get better. As far as work, break tasks down AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. Do a portion and pat yourself on the back. You'll be able to build up from there. Part of burnout is seeing a wall of work and your body/mind having an adverse reaction to it. You need smaller portions to get back on the horse.
"as far as work IS CONCERNED" sorry, pet peeve of mine. usually I have a bit of a controlled inner "aaarrgh" moment and then move past it, but I'm in a foul mood today (hence clicking on this thread) so it couldn't be helped. I'm sorry I'm sorry.
As far as your mood, internet arguments aren't likely to improve it :P
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#143Nothing like this happened to me, but I did have to deal with depression. This taught me to treat mental health like physical health: something to be taken care of, dealt with and also talked about without stigma.
Mental health is important, we all have to take care of ourselves, and nobody should ever be stigmatized for being sick.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#144I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…
This is not quite the same as a full breakdown, it sounds more like a burnout. Which is still important and a lot of people will relate with, including myself. Part of it (i.e. as long as it doesn't affect your life experience in a disproportionate way) is also very normal -- we all wander what's the meaning of our life.
Searching around for burnout, including on this website, might give you some relatable stuff to read. It's possible that solving it might require you taking a long break (if you can), or reevaluate your life and change careers. These are things that take courage however, and a lot of people just keep going because they hate it, but it's still their comfort zone. Give yourself time to mature a decision, might be a few years, even.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#145Earlier quoted context omitted.
oh yeah, keep feeding the grinder, never stop feeding the grinder or else.
We all need to be able to make a living, whether it's software engineering, wood working, or day dreaming (if you can get paid for that). In general life is about getting big things done. Whether it's raising a kid, bagging 20 tons of groceries, wiring a house, or shipping 2M lines of code. The point being made is how to do that sustainably. Don't be a curmudgeon.
"The point being made is how to do that sustainably."
This is something I've battled with my whole life. By default, I have two switch positions -- on and off. When I flip a switch to the on position, it'll eventually flip back to the off position.
In my experience, balance is key. Make consistent progress and maintain interest without becoming obsessed or otherwise overly invested. This is easier said than done.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#146I’ve had two breakdowns. The first was out of the blue and had no real immediate cause. It left me with a perennial feeling of anxiety, paranoia and depression that lasted almost 8 years. It was only fixed with medication - a 3 month course of SSRIs that miraculously brought my back to my old self almost immediately. The second breakdown was precipitated by medication - withdrawals from Gabapentin, a medication presc…
When you understand how our chemistry, our diet & our environment influences our conscious self including past experiences you may have forgotten, you'll probably have a better understanding of why things occur. If you look at the Tryptophan pathway, SSRI's can be viewed like some sort of (SQL, XSS, Code) injection attack, influencing your chemistry and your emotions in other ways which may have given you a short ter…
> If you look at the Tryptophan pathway, SSRI's can be viewed like some sort of (SQL, XSS, Code) injection attack, influencing your chemistry and your emotions in other ways which may have given you a short term boost, but may not have addressed the underlying cause.
They can actually address the underlying cause. Studies have shown that there may be an overdensity of post-synaptic 5-HT2A receptors in people with depression, and SSRIs causes a downregulation of those receptors.
There are similar systems in the body that can be targeted in this way - adding a GnRH agonist causes the body to downregulate GnRH receptors, making it paradoxically a good hormone blocker.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#147I'm not going to add more 'noise' with my story but I would like to share some insights that I've come across intentionally and unintentionally. A lot of this isn't good advice. But if you're feeling incredibly overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure then the advice is good enough. The goal is to immediately remove yourself from any stressful or negative situations and to prevent you from saying or doing something harmful.
1. If you're okay with burning bridges with your coworkers. It's fine to just ghost them for a few weeks to a month. This immediately removes you from the source of stress and can give you the time to decompress. You'll either be fired or you'll have to quit (don't give a notice) after you feel a bit better. In either case reach out to your manager on your personal email or text. Apologize and give a short message that you are dealing with personal issues.
2. It's okay to withdraw from personal responsibilities. Obviously you can't ignore your friends and family like you can your coworkers but cancelling events or withdrawing from things you used to do is a perfectly valid strategy.
3. Engaging in escapism is a perfectly valid way to handle these negative emotions. Anything is fine as long as it takes your mind of off this issue.
4. Avoid mentally strenuous activities. You want to do things that are passive and low effort. If it's easy and it can give you a self esteem boost then it's worth it.
5. Find an easy job with laid back coworkers and a good work life balance. There's nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond. Find fulfillment outside of work.
6. Try your best to avoid coping with drugs or alcohol but if it helps in the short term then go ahead. Indulge yourself. Just make sure that you avoid getting addicted. Set rules for yourself no matter how arbitrary and stick with them.
Obviously try asking for help, therapy, medication, medical leave, meditating, getting new hobbies and other perfectly reasonable things first. It's harder to do but it also gives the most benefits. However, if like me, you felt truly trapped. If the thought of talking to someone (therapist, manager, family, friends, acquaintances) is incredibly daunting and makes you sick to your stomach. If the thought of leaving it all behind sounds appealing, try the advice posted above. Then, once you're ready, you can take the actually good advice and build yourself up.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#148I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…
This sounds like burnout.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#149Yes in my case it was caused by ideas from a shitty self help book that i was trying out whilst a politcal battle was going on at work. Need to trace the origins which can only be done by talking to trusted people, ie family and probably not friends (which i got burnt by). Getting proffessional help was also not useful at all as they cared more about managing symptoms with meds rather than tracing the root cause.
But don't overly focus on a root cause to the detriment of getting help. Some people respond really well to the therapy of determining where they went wrong, how they were hurt, etc. Other people respond well to a day-to-day plan of being aware of your thoughts, challenging intrusive thoughts, etc. And medication works wonders for some, and is not great or sometimes detrimental to others.
Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?
#150Yes - I think I'm currently going through it.
Throughout my career I've constantly felt like I've failed upwards. I'm now 1 rung down from CTO and frankly if it wasn't for my anxiety I could probably fill that role, but lately i've found myself saying repeatedly to my wife "I just want to be a small cog again".
I left enterprise IT 5 years ago for reasons I can no longer quite remember - I think most of it was because I felt like I had nowhere to go and I couldn't engage with the work I was doing. In retrospect, maybe I didn't try hard enough to find fulfilling work within that company? I loved my colleagues and it turns out the corporate structure actually worked for me - I like the relative safety of 25 levels of beaurocracy and middle management as long as I get left to do some problem-solving.
Now I work in startups, It feels like I'm constantly about to collapse from the anxiety of the unknown. As a grown-ass adult, I've had awful experiences of people shouting in my face because some unimportant task has not been completed, which is not something I should have to tolerate.
I keep telling myself that "they need you, you don't need them" and looking for ways out, but my anxiety around stability for my family means I can't just bin it off and go for something else in this current job market.
I've done CBT but it doesn't really work for me. I need to engage direct therapy at this point I think. I also try to find hobbies that are completely detached from what I do for a day job.