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Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

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Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#101

Post by loa_in_ »

throoowwawaayy wrote: post #31
BxGyw2 wrote: post #13

Stress induced psychosis maybe? Were you using any chemicals? Feel like I understand the need to escape to the woods but not so sure about the fossils thing. Hope you are doing better now mate

Thank you, and yes, I was taking dexedrine for ADHD, and I’m sure that was a factor here, or at least it didn’t help!

ADHD even without medication can make you hyperfixate on something for so long (usually if it's encouraged by environment) that you end up literally having not to think of it for a time if you want to recover your skill. Autism, excessive routines, isolation, lack of play and chaos helps make this happen too.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#102

Post by user_named »

INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

Sounds like burnout. But also, tried Vitamin B Complex. I was in a similar state, helped instantly.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#103

Post by leftbit »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

Sounds familiar, especially the stuttering. Not really sure what's going on with me, but I found that sitting down for about 10 minutes and drinking one or two glasses of water alleviates the symptoms. Might be I just need the break, might be I'm stuttering because I've been dehydrated.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#104

Post by manmal »

throoowwawaayy wrote: post #31
BxGyw2 wrote: post #13

Stress induced psychosis maybe? Were you using any chemicals? Feel like I understand the need to escape to the woods but not so sure about the fossils thing. Hope you are doing better now mate

Thank you, and yes, I was taking dexedrine for ADHD, and I’m sure that was a factor here, or at least it didn’t help!

I‘d actually suspect the Dexedrine as the root cause of the psychosis.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#105

Post by suranyami »

ggm wrote: post #56

Normalising talking about it, is good. This needs to be something people can say, water cooler or no. I had two episodes like this 40+ years ago. I sought mental health advice and have never regretted it. In my own situation CBT worked fine so I have a strong bias toward it, as does my continuing mental health professional. Non-CBT therapy especially, but really any mental health treatment should be something you dis…

> Normalising talking about it, is good

100% agree with this. This was, I think, the number 1 thing I did NOT want to do when I was in the midst of suicidal depression (i.e. talk about it) and the biggest reason why it got worse and worse and spiralled out of control.

If I had advice for past-me, it would be:

* It's okay to say "I'm a frikkin' mess. Please help me". To anyone. If they're no help, fine. If they can help, excellent.

* Other people are NOT waiting to use any weakness you tell them about against you to fire you, leave you, disown you, or anything else. They are MOST likely to have empathy and want to help. When you're depressed, that's hard to believe, but it's true. But if they DO, then maybe they're the part of the problem?

* You don't have to have some "justifiable reason" for being in the state you are. The constant self-talk in my head was "I have no excuse to be depressed because my life is relatively easy and other people have it way worse than me". No: you experience what you experience and you want/need to fix it.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#106

Post by ArthurDent451 »

Back in 1980 I moved into a shared house in Sydney and one night I was woken up by commotion in the adjoining back yard. A man was sitting naked on top of the Hills Hoist hosing himself with cold water in the middle of winter and shouting "You're all as plastic as my little red guitar". Police and ambulance arrived and he was carted off. Neighbours told me that he was a computer programmer. Somehow I wiped this memory from my mind and took up a career as a coder. Fast forward 20 years and I was seeking medical advice for symptoms of "burn out". Thankfully not as severe as that poor chap in 1980.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#107

Post by throoowwawaayy »

SeanAnderson wrote: post #28

Sorry that happened to you. It sounds scary, but you sound like you're doing much better. I hope you are. In the interest of openly sharing, I've had inklings of psychosis in the past while also being an absolute top performer at work. It's damaged my relationships, but never to the point of a psychotic break. A combination of getting way too focused on work for months/years, burning out, stopping exercising to try a…

What a coincidence, I am also somehow special and think I can beat the system. So that is encouraging to hear, thank you.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#108

Post by timellis-smith »

INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

As an allegory.

I've on occasion been in very cold water (cutting ropes from propellors of boats and stand-up paddle boarding).

While my core body temperature is still below normal, I've found myself incapable of going back into the cold water, like my body physically refuses.

The mind works to protect itself, and perhaps that's what its doing with regards to work - trying to protect you from further damaging yourself due to burn-out.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#109

Post by heleninboodler »

suranyami wrote: post #100
INTPenis wrote: post #67

I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…

> It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids As a parent: nope, it's definitely not that. Yes, having children is a rich and beautiful experience. It's also a ruthless grind. So, if you think you're feeling lethargic and it's all a bit futile, imagine doing everything you do now, but also arguing with a smaller, more annoying version of yourself for a couple of decades while sleep deprived, and with 1/4 of…

If INTPenis hears anything I hope it's that not having kids isn't the root of this problem. I have kids and it's wonderful, but I too feel all the same lethargy and lack of purpose interspersed with bouts of helping kids with their homework and relentlessly getting their grumpy asses to school at ungodly hours every day and generally trying hard not to fuck them up. If you're already in a shitty situation, having kids definitely does not fix it.

If you find it inexplicably hard to make it to your 9am standup, try making it your responsibility to get two other humans out of bed and ready for school at 6:35 every day and then make it to your 9am standup.

Re: Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?

#110

Post by rjbwork »

Yes, though long ago, before graduating college. Put a big damper on my life. Went from attending a Top 5 CS school to graduating 3 years late from a state school. I thought the government was going to assassinate me, that people everywhere I went knew who I was and were whispering about me, etc. Just severe psychosis.

You do not need to forgive yourself. You should be thankful that you (presumably) have a loving and caring family that helped you through it and that you were eventually able to regain a measure of mental health and sanity. I certainly am immensely grateful for those things.

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