1. Fault tolerance is almost all hardware driven. Capital market participants spent billions of dollar building reliable private networks.
2. Distributed in trading doesn't mean what FAANG are doing. Trading systems for example usually run 2 hot-warm systems with real-time replication commits, that's about it. They don't run horizontally scaled systems because network time would kill their performance.
In my experience, I haven't heard anyone asking for hot swap code and high availability (outside of trading hours).
Are there shops out there that run Erlang? Sure, but most companies don't care about Erlang simply because its value isn't better than Java/C/C++.