I work with primarily academic types, and I’m careful to always use soft and work-neutral language as well as a few tricks I have learned to kinda “hack” out of their typical work mode and into their regular personality.
I’m notorious for chitchat, and one of my favorite ones is “What have you been doing for fun lately?” because of how useful it is for starting pleasant conversations. I’ve learned that a lot of graduates here (DC) like video gaming, hiking, and traveling.
I never say “we need to get X done by Y” with young people. I say “Ok, the next milestone task for us is X. How are we feeling about getting that done around or even before Y?” And with time, people learn that I want the honest answer, not the sugar coat. You can’t BS a BSer, as it goes.
Anyhow, my main thing is: when someone starts being weird or evasive when I’m asking about leisure, I assume that there’s a stressor in their life and often I’ll tell them exactly that. Sometimes they come clean, and say they feel the imposter syndrome (always the Ivy Leaguers) or that they don’t feel connected to the work and significance of it, or sometimes it’s just personal business and not for me to get involved with. I think it’s just a learned behavior with the young generations to always stay at a high velocity rather than taking time to just BE worried about their family or health or whatever it is, and let it happen and move on. Instead, they just kinda put it on a plate in their mind and keep scurrying forward to the things they think they’re supposed to be doing.
A lot of employers/managers don’t think like I do, but I think: if you’re so stressed out that your hands are shaking, I don’t want you poring over medical/financial/industrial data. You’re a huge liability, and you should be getting rested and relaxed to do this stuff. The culture has failed them in teaching them NOT to address these things as crucially important in their lives, or has robbed them of the financial stability to consider doing sk in the first place.
Anyhow. Let’s clock out early, lol.