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I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

lonelyworld.info

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Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#51

Post by mLuby »

low_tech_love wrote: post #3
bubblic wrote: post #2

The idea is that knowing there are lonely people out there can help you cope with loneliness a little. This is a minimum "viral" product for my upcoming project that allows meaningful connections between anonymous people using audio. With such fantastic response, I think I got a form of validation that there is a market demand for connecting the lonely souls.

One thing that always bothered me is how much wasted potential there is in tools like Omegle or chatRoulette. On paper they sound amazing, and a few years ago back when they started and not everyone was aware, I remember having two or three amazing (and entirely SFW) interactions with some random people from around the world. It was genuinely exciting in a super legit way. And then, yeah. It turned into what it is to…

Using Call of Duty (a military game) with voice chat was oddly similar experience. You can match with two other teammates, then you chat as you help each other succeed in the game, naturally building rapport. Then the game round ends and… that's it, you'll never talk to those people again. It's very abrupt and makes the whole interaction feel weirdly transactional.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#52

Post by senectus1 »

bubblic wrote: post #39
senectus1 wrote: post #28

Is loneliness really such an issue? Maybe i dont have an issue with it because I'm an introvert?

oh yes, it is a huge issue! This article from 2013 already described that 50% of adults were suffering from loneliness. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-24522691 And it definitely got way worse during/after pandemic. I would suggest you check out some Reddit forums if you are curious to know the other half of the population. r/ForeverAlone, r/lonely, r/loneliness, r/alone, r/LonersEmpire

yikes.

while I may not win in the office for being and introvert it sounds like i win outside the office :-P

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#53

Post by ThinkBeat »

Loneliness is increasing rapidly, and it is becoming a major issue.

Studies show that it can lead to or increase the risk of increased obesity, substance use disorder, risk of depression, cardiovascular disease, risk of high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

It is also something people feel great shame over.

I remember when i started my loneliness group on Facebook. I then posted it existence in a large group for immigrants.

One admin messaged me to say how pathetic and dumb it was and recommended shutting down the group right away.

"Just go out and meet people. it is not hard"

He was an extreme extravert who spent most of his time networking with new people he meets or perhaps he knows. He cannot imagine the it being a problem.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#54

Post by creshal »

ThinkBeat wrote: post #53

Loneliness is increasing rapidly, and it is becoming a major issue. Studies show that it can lead to or increase the risk of increased obesity, substance use disorder, risk of depression, cardiovascular disease, risk of high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. It is also something people feel great shame over. I remember when i started my loneliness group on Facebook. I then posted it existence in a large group for…

[flagged]

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#55

Post by RamblingCTO »

What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say what you mean"). I am quite good at connecting with people nowadays and don't feel lonely anymore because I learned how to tune in to my needs, how to communicate with other people and get my needs met. Took a lot of reading, practicing, failing and therapy, but imho that's a viable way to solve that on an individual basis. The modern society is way too disconnected because of false beliefs and easy traps to fall in to (apps "solving" your problem being the problem).

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#56

Post by idiocrat »

The Hedgehog's dilemma is relevant for loneliness.

From Wikipedia:

"The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs seek to move close to one another to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur, for reasons they cannot avoid.

Arthur Schopenhauer conceived this metaphor to describe what he considers to be the state of the individual in relation to others in society. The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. With the hedgehog's dilemma, one is recommended to use moderation in affairs with others both because of self-interest, as well as out of consideration for others. The hedgehog's dilemma is used to explain self-imposed isolation."

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#57

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

RamblingCTO wrote: post #55

What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say…

Were you an only child by chance?

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#58

Post by codingminds »

bubblic wrote: post #34
geuis wrote: post #29

After I pinch and zoom to my location and tap on a circle the map seems to jump to a random place in the world. Also the slider is really difficult to drag on iPad os. Like the concept.

It jumps to random places because a new person just logged their location! I wanted to make the whole experience dynamic and real. It worked well when there weren't so many people logging their location all at the same time haha I will need to add features to: make toggle more user friendly; and have option to make the map jump around or not. Thank you for feedback!

I suggest to disable the map jump by default or make that information very prominent in the map. This way it felt very broken and frustrating.

But a nice idea :)

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#59

Post by bubblic »

RamblingCTO wrote: post #55

What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say…

What if I framed it as “helping people with what I can offer”? I am one person with one set of experiences. I would not claim to know what causes loneliness for everyone, and the helping hand that I offer might be of no help to many. But I try my best, based on my personal experience of loneliness and what I had wished to be there when I was lonely, maybe I can build something for that other person who may be going through something similar and they would cope with it faster and better that I had.

That is all. I am no messiah claiming to have a panacea for loneliness, but just a human being offering help to other human beings.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#60

Post by CalRobert »

noobermin wrote: post #23

I was very lonely for my college years because I lived in a religious uni that was far away from any city, partly because the mission school I went to (went to school outside of America) offered tuition scholarships to go there. Within the first year of leaving to an actual city, I lost my virginity, had my first successful relationship, and generally found my place in the world. People underestimate how much mundane…

Moved to the countryside because it was cheap but my life now is just waiting to die. Can't wait to get back to the city.
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