Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service • Hacker News Board

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#301

Post by buu700 » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:19 AM UTC

blobbers wrote: post #212

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #13

I still have clear recollection of the 50:1 men-to-women ratio in my CS2xx classes and higher. Your odds weren't good if you were hoping to meet Mrs. Right. I imagine things have gotten better since. Still, seems like a fairly high effort low outcome place to meet someone who is likely not even receptive to advances in that context. Do colleges not offer many other opportunities for people to meet outside of class in…

I met Mrs. Right in one of those classes! But like time she eventually slipped away and I never saw her again...

Similarly, I met Mrs. Wright in high school CS. She was a fantastic teacher who helped cultivate a lifelong passion for the subject.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#302

Post by fragmede » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:19 AM UTC

joe-collins wrote: post #278

murrkat wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there not a chance one of the young men offering open labs or tutoring might, in fact, be intelligent, enthusiastic about the sciences and decent ?

If they're so intelligent and decent, why are they relying on such disturbing tactics to meet women in the first place?

Because they are, in fact, decent, and find going to frat parties to engage with a drunk girl who can't properly consent, or hiring a prostitute, to be reprehensible. Online dating doesn't work unless you're in the top X% of attractiveness, so what's a college student to do? They're not generally rich enough to garner the attention of women that way, and they're competing against a larg pool of older men who are.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#303

Post by 8note » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:21 AM UTC

Based on my engineering school, it's literally a joke on bad stereotypes assumed of engineers, and they actually are just there to help teach

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#304

Post by troupe » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:21 AM UTC

shadowfacts wrote: post #259

troupe wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. Really? I know people who specifically chose their entire major based on the ratio of women in that major.

... Yes, choosing ones major based on dating prospects is definitely weird.

I guess I kind of expect people to choose to go to a coed college instead of all female or all male based on (at least partially) dating prospects. Does it seem weird for a female interested in both business and nursing to choose business because nursing would be mostly other females and business would be more balanced and more opportunities to develop friendships with the opposite sex?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#305

Post by rayiner » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:21 AM UTC

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #13

I still have clear recollection of the 50:1 men-to-women ratio in my CS2xx classes and higher. Your odds weren't good if you were hoping to meet Mrs. Right. I imagine things have gotten better since. Still, seems like a fairly high effort low outcome place to meet someone who is likely not even receptive to advances in that context. Do colleges not offer many other opportunities for people to meet outside of class in…

> It's interesting that one of the highest-voted responses suggests bringing in the ten ton hammer of legal governmental involvement against a bunch of kids trying to score a date

College students aren’t “kids” and it’s extremely disturbing that our society continues to infantilize teenagers and grownups and push the boundary of adulthood later and later. In the Jewish tradition the coming of age ritual for young men happens at 13. Clearly we don’t need to coddle these little degenerates into their 20s.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#306

Post by atyppo » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:22 AM UTC

Larrikin wrote: post #228

Der_Einzige wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Things have not gotten better. I had several 3 and 4 hundred level CS classes with literally zero women in them. This was at a large, major public school with several hundred in our CS program.

My upper level CS classes in college had one woman back in early 2010s. I entered grad school some years later. My graduate level CS courses that over lapped the data science classes were usually around fifty percent. The courses that didn't were more male but nothing close to undergraduate. It really wasn't something I noticed like in undergrad. So seems to be getting better What I did notice was both the data scien…

America's immigration system is in desperate need of reform. The green card "diversity" lottery is stupid and outright discriminatory. I've considered emigrating from the US to some EU members, and while it isn't easy for any of these countries, it certainly is nowhere near as difficult as if I were doing the reverse. Will it ever be fixed in my lifetime? I'm 22. I have my doubts.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#307

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:22 AM UTC

SpeedilyDamage wrote: post #168

dymk wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Birth rates are tanking because of increased access to contraceptives and people having the wealth and freedom to enjoy their 20s and 30s unburdened by children

My wife and I are having a very hard time convincing ourselves to have kids for exactly this reason. We're wealthy, free to pursue our hobbies, and advance in our careers. Nobody's body is getting wrecked, nobody's free time and sleep is getting upended, and it's generally a Very Good Time. Both having kids and not having kids feels selfish for different reasons. It's hard to really feel like there's a right answer h…

[deleted]

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#308

Post by jimbokun » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:22 AM UTC

User23 wrote: post #111

MuffinFlavored wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

Women signal interest or a lack thereof in a thousand ways. Picking up on that is a basic social skill and like all skills some persons are more capable than others.

This just isn’t true at all.

Women have different personalities and indicate their attraction or lack of attraction in very different ways. Flirting for some women is the exact same behavior presented to everyone for other women.

If you want to know if a woman is attracted to you, ask her out and see what she says

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#309

Post by wilsonnb3 » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:22 AM UTC

fastball wrote: post #143

wilsonnb3 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is probably not weird in the hormone-addled mind of a teenager but yeah, I find it to be some combination of weird, pervy, sleazy, misogynistic, etc.

Wanting to spend more time with women is misogynistic? I don't want to whip out the dictionary definition of that word, but in what way does choosing classes to spend more time with women (because your existing classes are full of guys) mean you hate women ?

If you are someone who genuinely enjoys the company of women over the company of men, then I agree that it is not misogynistic.

But that isn't really what we are talking about. The average hypothetical man choosing his class or major because of how many women are in it isn't looking to make female friends.

He just wants to surround himself with a higher percentage of people that he is sexually attracted to.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#310

Post by lelanthran » Tue, Jan 31, 2023, 4:22 AM UTC

zozbot234 wrote: post #284

jhanschoo wrote: post #198

I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: > number of female students have approached me, noting they are disgusted and uncomfortable with the amount of leching taking place > It's also demoralizing several of them, since we routinely have cases where a young man is leading open labs as if they're a teacher themselves (in order to "wow" their female classmates, offer "…

I think you're right about this. The male auditors are overdoing the whole showboating thing in a way that creates a bad experience for the rest of the students, and probably doesn't really help their romantic prospects either. Sensible women want to get to know friends in a gradual, natural fashion and perhaps be a little wowed in non-obvious ways. No one wants to be advertised to with "FREE private tutoring session…

> The male auditors are overdoing the whole showboating thing in a way that creates a bad experience for the rest of the students, and probably doesn't really help their romantic prospects either. Sensible women want to get to know friends in a gradual, natural fashion and perhaps be a little wowed in non-obvious ways.

They aren't looking for sensible women, they're looking for attractive women. IOW, it furthers their goal, even if you think they should have a different goal.