Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

academia.stackexchange.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

261–270 of 659 posts

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#261

Post by ImaCake »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #215
I-love-india wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, you just to treat women with respect. The issue here is intention. The intention here is not about teaching or learning in the class. But its using that pretence in fact distrupting the intention of the class and people there. How do you like your intention distrupted? How about by unattractive slobs who are objectifying you and trying to be "helpful" and trying tricks they found on internet If someone is trying…

Taking a class, participating in labs and offering tutoring purely to find a partner is an extremely high effort attempt from a man. Men try less respectful and far more thinly veiled attempts on women all the time. > Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you? And what if they are attractive?

Why does the amount of effort make things better? By the same measure we would say spying on someone with binoculars is more acceptable than stalking their facebook page.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#262

Post by mjevans »

Larrikin wrote: post #228
Der_Einzige wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Things have not gotten better. I had several 3 and 4 hundred level CS classes with literally zero women in them. This was at a large, major public school with several hundred in our CS program.

My upper level CS classes in college had one woman back in early 2010s. I entered grad school some years later. My graduate level CS courses that over lapped the data science classes were usually around fifty percent. The courses that didn't were more male but nothing close to undergraduate. It really wasn't something I noticed like in undergrad. So seems to be getting better What I did notice was both the data scien…

The correct answer is to require the hiring of any non-citizen to be for something like the greater than the top 25th (mode average) pay in that field nationally / in that locality AND to allow anyone that's put in 3 months of work or more at a job one year after that job to land the next compatible one or finish up their immigration paperwork as long as they're actively looking for work.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#263

Post by xupybd »

shitlord wrote: post #249
elil17 wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.

It takes two to tango. If the service works, then clearly some of the women are there to date. Who are we to tell them they're wrong, if both parties benefit from the arrangement? Obviously if the men are harassing the women, that's bad and they should be held accountable.

I suspect the problem is not harassment but social incompetence. If the young men are anything like I was their approach will be less than smooth. I can see how that would get tiring over time.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#264

Post by [deleted] »

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #13

I still have clear recollection of the 50:1 men-to-women ratio in my CS2xx classes and higher. Your odds weren't good if you were hoping to meet Mrs. Right. I imagine things have gotten better since. Still, seems like a fairly high effort low outcome place to meet someone who is likely not even receptive to advances in that context. Do colleges not offer many other opportunities for people to meet outside of class in…

[deleted]

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#265

Post by bitmunk »

onepointsixC wrote: post #173
GlenTheMachine wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because I have an attractive daughter studying engineering, and she tells me that her single biggest problem is that she constantly has to reject, avoid, or otherwise fend off male advances nearly every day. It's exhausting, it makes her never feel at ease in her classes, and she is constantly being distracted when what she really wants is quiet time to figure out integration by parts or whatever. As a male, this is…

[flagged]

"There's people starving and being sexually assaulted, so any concern you have is invalid."

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#266

Post by fragmede »

elil17 wrote: post #149
xupybd wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think that taking a class to get to know single women of your own age is disrespectful. Do we know they are objectifying? The post said this was about finding a future wife.

It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.

How exactly do you do disengenuous tutoring? This system of equations only works out if you're hot?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#267

Post by lazide »

wilsonnb3 wrote: post #121
troupe wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. Really? I know people who specifically chose their entire major based on the ratio of women in that major.

It is probably not weird in the hormone-addled mind of a teenager but yeah, I find it to be some combination of weird, pervy, sleazy, misogynistic, etc.

Or, you know, not unusual for humans with healthy hormone levels.

It’s like the attack of the puritans here.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#268

Post by ShredKazoo »

fzeroracer wrote: post #142
ShredKazoo wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>fairly textbook power harassment I thought "power harassment" is when you have power over someone. How does auditing a course give you power over fellow students? >the intention behind joining in the first place is what matters What's wrong with having an intention of finding someone to marry? Suppose a woman signs up for eHarmony with the intention of meeting her future husband -- is that problematic?

Really? They're seniors in a class. It's heavily implied they're joining classes they know and are easy so that they can wow people. They offer tutoring and assistance to other individuals they seem attractive. And the classroom is a place to learn. eHarmony last I checked is not a classroom so can you explain to me what exactly was the point of your comparison? It's literally an apples to oranges point you're making…

>And the classroom is a place to learn. eHarmony last I checked is not a classroom so can you explain to me what exactly was the point of your comparison? It's literally an apples to oranges point you're making.

This was in response to a user who said "the intention behind joining in the first place is what matters". My point is that having an intention to meet your future spouse is not bad.

>And the classroom is a place to learn.

Having lots of tutors available to help people facilitates that objective. My guess would be that the net effect of the practice described in the OP is to increase student learning.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#269

Post by boppo1 »

troupe wrote: post #95
wilsonnb3 wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nobody cares if college students try to date other students from their classes. It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. It is even weirder when the class in question is something that they have a very high skill level in specifically so that they will be able leverage that into some kind of situation that leads to dating. This is pretty cut and dry to me, I am not sure why so…

> It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. Really? I know people who specifically chose their entire major based on the ratio of women in that major.

Unattractive men with poor/awkward social skills who pursue romantic partners in 2023 are misogynistic.

[Edit: It's sarcasm... mostly]

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#270

Post by 8note »

smokey_the_bear wrote: post #40

My university had versions of courses that engineering majors were not allowed to take. Chem 160 for most students, chem 167 for engineers, chem 177 for chemistry majors.

Mine had separate engineering versions of courses to make sure that all the courses work out.

The non engineering ones were equivalent and acceptable so you could switch tracks, but if an engineer didn't get into a chem class, they'd be screwed for their whole degree. The proper engineering classes have specific times both during the day, and during the year.

Engineering students allowed in the non-engineering courses, non engineers not allowed in the engineering ones

Post reply on HN