saw this on stack earlier, this behavior is predatory and I'm disappointed that so many fellow readers think this is respectable behavior
Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#92Earlier quoted context omitted.
Maybe that's what we should work on instead, along with making hitting on people acceptable for women too. That way, it's not just a male thing, and people can still indicate they want to be left alone.
It's definitely acceptable for women to hit on men, in fact there is currently a double standard in place in many cultures. Two days ago at a party I saw a woman sexually harass multiple men without any repercussions, and she constantly apologized afterwards which somehow made it ok to continue the behavior all night. Yes, that person clearly has unresolved issues to work on but the double standard is there and it's…
"Acceptable" may have been the wrong word, I more meant "normalized", sorry.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#93> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…
No, you just to treat women with respect. The issue here is intention. The intention here is not about teaching or learning in the class. But its using that pretence in fact distrupting the intention of the class and people there. How do you like your intention distrupted? How about by unattractive slobs who are objectifying you and trying to be "helpful" and trying tricks they found on internet If someone is trying to come to terms with complex mathematics it just not appropriate to distract or give them the feeling of having to deal with a situation of someone coming onto them.
How do people not get this? It's about basic respect. Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you?
Maybe you'd like unattractive specimens distrupting your coding process by hanging around and offering to be "helpful"?
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#94> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…
That wasn't my reading. It seemed like the instructor was not thrilled that her course was being audited by showboaters, who were interested in meeting/impressing women as opposed to learning.
“College students taking social classes with no intention of learning” is not exactly headline material though.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#95> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…
Nobody cares if college students try to date other students from their classes. It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. It is even weirder when the class in question is something that they have a very high skill level in specifically so that they will be able leverage that into some kind of situation that leads to dating. This is pretty cut and dry to me, I am not sure why so…
> It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though.
Really? I know people who specifically chose their entire major based on the ratio of women in that major.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#96(Assuming that the story is true, and not trolling.)
I'd guess that the school administrators don't want a public scandal for the school, lawsuits for the school (if the people behind it get exposed and harassed), nor individual risk for themselves.
But won't all of that happen if one of the targeted students goes to complain to a news organization (even the student newspaper), or files a lawsuit for harassment, and it turns out those administrators declined to act after they were alerted to the problem?
I've heard of schools gambling like this before, and sometimes it's seemed to probably come down to individual risk to administrators (e.g., definitely taking a career hit vs. possibly taking a worse career hit), not thinking of the school, students, or study. As much as we might've been brought up hearing stories of the brilliant, principled, altruistic, fearless professor... sometimes it seems organizational behavior is better explained by assuming the more common human corporate careerists are also involved.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#97> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…
There are appropriate times and places to pork yourself out, academia is not one of them. Go pork yourself after you've "punched out".
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#98People can tsk tsk this, but it's damn hard to find a mate if you are not in the top 20% of (straight) men, and basically requires you to be aggressive like this. You may be praised for being a "nice guy" by being passive, but it will not get you dates.
I recommend not calling it "finding a mate" and maybe it wouldn't seem that way.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#99Ok which one of you did this?
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#100I find it a little disturbing that the top rated answer that people reached for is to bring in Title IX claiming this is discrimination.
While I normally would argue about virtue signaling, this seems like creepy and unsettling behavior that definitely warrants an investigation. That doesn’t mean there was any rule breaking, but this is one of those creepy things that I strongly oppose looking the other way at. If you’re afraid of an investigation, then it is probably something worthwhile looking into.