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Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

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Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#641

Post by nonethewiser »

Waterluvian wrote: post #376
rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

My wife and I have a rule, "everything needs to have a home." Because if it doesn't have a home, it becomes clutter, and after enough clutter, it finds a home... usually a sub-optimal one, like a junk drawer. The kids (4 and 5) have adapted to this wonderfully. It really helps them. It makes cleanup a trivial task because everything is known to belong somewhere specific. Related to this: the recognition that everythi…

I agree with this 100% but I struggle with finding homes for everything. I feel like I need more furniture with drawers or cupboards. It's creating the storage space that I struggle with.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#642

Post by CipherThrowaway »

jmcmaster wrote: post #438
rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

ADHD weaker object permanence means that lots of people need to see their stuff to keep it in mind. “Hiding stuff” is problematic (and so is clutter).

Non-ADHD weaker clutter tolerance means that lots of people need to hide stuff to keep it from bothering them.

Clutter intolerance can have a profound impact on daily life for sufferers. Many will engage in maladaptive coping strategies such as ritualistic tidying and avoiding cluttered rooms or spaces. Whether tolerance can be improved through therapy is an area of active research. Unfortunately, clutter intolerance is thought to be neurobiological.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#644

Post by dirtyid »

rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

That's why I steer away from open shelves, everything gets chucked into their respective drawer to keep things tidy. Getting partner be onboard with drawer organization probably deadend if they're not into it, but most things need a convenient place to hide.

Also I firmly believe really nice drawer hardware, like soft close and good runners can encourage this behaviour by making operation enjoyable. Grew up with very satisfyingly click put to open drawers, in retrospect not as functional as direct pulling, but man that click conditioned me to want to tidy.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#645

Post by therealdrag0 »

iamwpj wrote: post #127
mtlynch wrote: post #33

Staying warm. In the winter, I used to stay warm by turning up the thermostat. Then I discovered (via HN) the Low-Tech Magazine article, "Insulation: first the body, then the home." [0] The article argued that it's much more efficient to focus on heating yourself rather than your whole living space. I invested in high-quality wool clothes that I wear in layers and warm slippers. Now, I keep my home about 5 degrees F…

I live in the midwest and cold is normal for a chunk of the year, but one thing always worse than cold: wind. After college at some point I splurged on a North Face jacket with the wind protection bit and it was eye popping how much more tolerable being outside became. I always go for a nicer coat/jacket now -- the value brands at the department stores don't always have the right technology. Good outdoor gear is spen…

For wind I think what matters is having a hard ish shell, knowing that can make price flexible. I have pretty old and cheap winter jacket that I ski in and it keeps me really warm.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#646

Post by machiaweliczny »

Swallowing ;) I learned from ortodontist that the reason I don’t have nice teeth arch and the reason that I have trouble with pills is because of „infantile swallowing”, basically pressing tongue to lower teeth and not lower palate. Learning this solved so many of my problems. This lowers efficiency of breathing and make you snore and might be related to sleep apnea and this makes you tired and depressed so please check your kids.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#647

Post by havaloc »

qwerty456127 wrote: post #430
yamtaddle wrote: post #79

Not using an electric toothbrush. First time I used one it felt like I'd had a proper dental cleaning. An extremely half-assed effort with that kind of brush beats a thorough one with a manual brush. I thought they were a gimmick, but no, they're amazing.

My dentist told me I should only use a sonic toothbrush Sonicare or similar because they actually clean while rotational electronic toothbrushes almost literally sweep the crap to under your gums (so they clean the teeth but harm gum gealth).

Mine told me the rotational ones are better. And I think there's some empirical evidence there because when they polish your teeth, they use a rotational tool.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#648

Post by kraftman »

Not my entire life, but competing with my girlfriend/wife. Trying to win arguments instead of trying to solve the problem. Holding onto resentments instead of letting them go. We used to have huge arguements all the time, it took having a kid together to finally hammer it into my head that we are on the same team, we need to work together. Since then we've had 2 kids under 2 during covid and barely argued in 4 years

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#649

Post by papandada »

jmcmaster wrote: post #438
rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

ADHD weaker object permanence means that lots of people need to see their stuff to keep it in mind. “Hiding stuff” is problematic (and so is clutter).

I have this, though it most often shows up as "to-do impermanence" -- I have to keep tasks very visible or they disappear. Come to think of it, I'm a bit like the guy in Memento, I even need to remind myself of the whole history and motivation for a task every time I come to it.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#650

Post by derbOac »

rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

For me at least the bigger point of putting things away is actually to find them quicker later.
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