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High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

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Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#271

Post by bradlys »

lots2learn wrote: post #266
bluefirebrand wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yup. When I met my girlfriend she was really clear that she didn't want to date someone who didn't have a similar level of accomplishment to her. It wasn't about money entirely, but money was a part of it. She has a master's degree and manages a department of people at a fairly big company. I only have a bachelor, and I don't manage people, but I earn more than her. So I guess it balances out? She would never date a…

"Success" is a part of it but that usually comes packaged with other things like similar level of education and similar type of things the two find interesting. Income is a good (but far from perfect) indicator of social compatibility.

I think “success” is also just code for class - to a large extent.

People I’ve known who mention wanting someone “successful” were often looking for Ivy League, rich family, etc. It often had little to do with accomplishments of their own doing and mostly to do with being from the same socioeconomic class/upbringing.

This is why guys pulling good money in blue collar work aren’t often getting women from educated backgrounds - even if they have all the markers of what success would mean to most people.

It’s classism - typically.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#272

Post by xyzelement »

dmoy wrote: post #229
unsupp0rted wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Typically women don't like to marry down in income and earning potential. When they do, it's done reluctantly because the clock is ticking or they're tired of being forever alone and have lowered their standards. Anecdotally, I've yet to see a marriage in my peer group where the woman marries down to last more than a handful of years. Men almost always have no problem marrying down in terms of income & earning potent…

Among our friends I can think of at least three immediately - partnered accountant (f) + teacher (m), some senior executive at a f500 (f) + professor (m), senior auditor (f) + line chef (m). The former two going for 5-10+ years with multiple kids, etc. Probably could think of more if I asked my wife, because I don't keep track of who works where. I think you were correct up until somewhere around 2015-ish, when there…

What percentage of your couple-friends is that?

Chances are you know many more couples that exhibit the opposite pattern.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#273

Post by ameminator »

HeyLaughingBoy wrote: post #246
ameminator wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately, the current trend is for women to marry around the same income/social class, so it seems by personal choice women are marrying these types of people.

The current trend? When has it ever been the trend for people to marry outside their income level or social class?

It's a very long trend

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#274

Post by ShredKazoo »

greatpostman wrote: post #121
bradlys wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to, and having an amazing career to snag a great woman is no longer the best (or even a good) strategy I disagree. It’s not that women don’t care about money as much as they used to. They actually still care! It’s that other factors are more important now than they used to be. Your looks is very important because women aren’t gonna die withou…

I don’t think this is true. I’ve seen a lot of investment bankers in nyc struggling with women

Seriously? Interested to hear more details.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#275

Post by blep_ »

zozbot234 wrote: post #264
blep_ wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's signalling class , not respect. People can be assholes in any clothes. It's a tool for getting a certain type of person to respect you .

It was not signaling class historically. There's plenty of old photos showing lower-class folks who did wear suit-style clothes, and took pride in what that meant to them. It only devolved into signaling class when basic norms of mutual respect began to be widely connoted as a "middle-class/bourgeois" thing, which started in the mid-20th c. in much of the West and continued to the present day.

Yes, because there are often incentives for lower-class people to signal higher class. That doesn't mean it's not signaling.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#276

Post by Der_Einzige »

greatpostman wrote: post #21

Controversial opinion: Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to, and having an amazing career to snag a great woman is no longer the best (or even a good) strategy. In some ways, being a dedicated corporate employee makes you unattractive as a person. I know a lot of guys in their late 20s that think this. And I know a lot of broke bar tenders dating great women. Unless you are mak…

This is correct and im glad people are bringing this up.

Blind is too full of sad and chronically single dudes for "beta bux" to be as successful as it's claimed to be.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#277

Post by mLuby »

bqmjjx0kac wrote: post #153
52-6F-62 wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s not their potential mortality. It is their mortality. Very real, and always imminent. Once it stops becoming a “potential” thing, and it’s accepted as reality, then you start making real choices. The outcome is telling but not surprising. It’s among the oldest human wisdom.

Doesn't everyone wonder if they're the first immortal to be born?

Is being certain of one's im/mortality similar to the Halting Problem?

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#278

Post by bluefirebrand »

bradlys wrote: post #271
lots2learn wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Success" is a part of it but that usually comes packaged with other things like similar level of education and similar type of things the two find interesting. Income is a good (but far from perfect) indicator of social compatibility.

I think “success” is also just code for class - to a large extent. People I’ve known who mention wanting someone “successful” were often looking for Ivy League, rich family, etc. It often had little to do with accomplishments of their own doing and mostly to do with being from the same socioeconomic class/upbringing. This is why guys pulling good money in blue collar work aren’t often getting women from educated back…

Maybe so, but like the person you're replying to said, there's a lot of other indicators about social compatibility.

For instance my city has a lot of blue collar workers making pretty good money, but as a group they have a terrible reputation. Tons of drug abuse and wasteful spending habits.

If you're looking for a dude to party with and who owns quads and snowmobiles and can afford to live large and wants to live large, you probably could date those guys.

And of course there are probably some that absolutely do not follow that behavior trend.

But if you're looking for a more responsible person who lives a quieter life, you're probably better off avoiding the rig pigs.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#280

Post by bradlys »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #278
bradlys wrote: post #271

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think “success” is also just code for class - to a large extent. People I’ve known who mention wanting someone “successful” were often looking for Ivy League, rich family, etc. It often had little to do with accomplishments of their own doing and mostly to do with being from the same socioeconomic class/upbringing. This is why guys pulling good money in blue collar work aren’t often getting women from educated back…

Maybe so, but like the person you're replying to said, there's a lot of other indicators about social compatibility. For instance my city has a lot of blue collar workers making pretty good money, but as a group they have a terrible reputation. Tons of drug abuse and wasteful spending habits. If you're looking for a dude to party with and who owns quads and snowmobiles and can afford to live large and wants to live l…

Generally, that's just classism though. There are a ton of dudes in that work who are wanting to come home to a family. This doesn't change that the women don't want to be with those guys because what they do isn't considered educated work and isn't considered high status.

I mean - are we really going to ignore how poorly doctors spend their money? (doctors are notorious for living paycheck to paycheck!) What about guys in finance in NYC who waste all their money on hookers and blow? This is such a ridiculous argument.

People who spend in ways that many women don't want to exist everywhere. The way they spend the money is just different.

But if a man wants the same things that some other woman wants and she has a PhD and grew up in a rich family and he's only been working in the trades and is from a poorer background - she's not going to get with him even if he makes good money and has all the normal non-class-based traits that she wants from a partner. It's purely classism. I see this shit all the time. I know a lot of women like that - especially in NYC and SF.

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