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High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

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Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#241

Post by klyrs »

tomp wrote: post #215
tristor wrote: post #172

Great. I count myself amongst this group. I used to regularly do a bit of work across weekends, and stay late or start early to always be the one willing to adjust for the timezone differences of other people. I no longer do this, I work my set hours, with an hour buffer in the morning and afternoon (8AM-6PM local time) and I don't work weekends. My weekends are now sacrosanct and used for social hobbies, spending ti…

> we have now learned about the harm caused by absentee fathers Can you expand on this, references etc? Up until now, I've only heard about the (substantial) harm caused by fatherless homes / single mothers (maybe single parents? not sure, it might be too small sample for single fathers).

Traditionally the term absentee refers to a parent who is completely absent, or nearly so. However, there's a growing body of research into parents who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Especially as phones have enabled us to be present at work 24/7, which necessarily comes at cost to those who are physically present but ignored, it makes sense to examine the impact that can have on children.

A few hits for "emotionally distant parent research"

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14330237.2015.10...

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/319684673_Emotional...

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#242

Post by havelhovel »

wolongong942 wrote: post #123
greatpostman wrote: post #21

Controversial opinion: Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to, and having an amazing career to snag a great woman is no longer the best (or even a good) strategy. In some ways, being a dedicated corporate employee makes you unattractive as a person. I know a lot of guys in their late 20s that think this. And I know a lot of broke bar tenders dating great women. Unless you are mak…

> Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to Is there evidence to suggest women lining up to date forklift drivers?

Probably the same amount of demand as for snarky tech workers.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#243

Post by LeanderK »

xyzelement wrote: post #53
greatpostman wrote: post #21

Controversial opinion: Men are concluding that women don’t care about money as much as they used to, and having an amazing career to snag a great woman is no longer the best (or even a good) strategy. In some ways, being a dedicated corporate employee makes you unattractive as a person. I know a lot of guys in their late 20s that think this. And I know a lot of broke bar tenders dating great women. Unless you are mak…

Nearsighted view that's probably not common among those raised with a long term values perspective. Being a broke bartender is maybe cute in your 20s and maybe they are enjoying the "great women" they are dating. The problem is - once you hit 30 and beyond, being a broke bartender ain't that cute, and the kind of women stuck dating them aren't that *great" either. And there's no easy leap from a broke bartender in yo…

I was nearly laughing out reading this comment. It's so materialistic and conservative. I bet if it was the other way around you wouldn't care since the women just needs to find itself the right man who can support her!

> Being a broke bartender is maybe cute in your 20s and maybe they are enjoying the "great women" they are dating.

it's like you wouldn't believe women care about other aspects besides stable careers. It's not all just meaningless fun and adventure. I know (professional) bartenders personally, working in more sophisticated bars. They are all very social, easy to talk to and confident. I can understand how they are successful on the dating market and able to have meaningful relationships.

> The problem is - once you hit 30 and beyond, being a broke bartender ain't that cute, and the kind of women stuck dating them aren't that *great" either.

That's so condescending. Is it because you think all great women are already married when they are 30 and home looking after the kids?

> And there's no easy leap from a broke bartender in your 20s to someone who can buy a house and support a family in your 30s.

We are not in the 50s anymore. The women can have the career and support the family! But why would a successful women date a bartender? Maybe love is not guided by your pay grade and people can date whomever they want. And even if money is tight, a happy family is still possible. My family I grew up in ticked all your boxes and it just didn't work out in the end. I guess you will also make all decisions since you bring the money into the family?

> So what I hear in this story, is maybe someone who would otherwise do 130% to go from "director" to "senior director", doing 120% instead so they can play with their kid and extra few hours a week.

> It's a very different choice than opting into broke loserdom.

That's just mean and so primitive that I am sitting here smiling. Have fun with your 120% corporate job! Though, I hope you will see your kids in between. Maybe you can squeeze in some quality 1on1 time on saturday between your 20% extra work. But I guess that you've got the biggest house in your street and your car is also more expensive, that's all that's important, right?

This comment just feels like you consider yourself the superior man and you want to show it.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#244

Post by bushbaba »

I wonder if remote work is attributed to it. HCOL puts a lot of financial stress on you, leading to a need to work hard to keep the standard of living. Mortgage + daycare + food is easily near 10k/month for many. With remote work you can about half that expense and there’s simply less financial pressure.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#245

Post by LeanderK »

bradlys wrote: post #75
xyzelement wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nearsighted view that's probably not common among those raised with a long term values perspective. Being a broke bartender is maybe cute in your 20s and maybe they are enjoying the "great women" they are dating. The problem is - once you hit 30 and beyond, being a broke bartender ain't that cute, and the kind of women stuck dating them aren't that *great" either. And there's no easy leap from a broke bartender in yo…

I’d also argue that for young men - unless you’re an absolute unit and breathtakingly handsome… you’re always going to need to make more than your partner for a long term relationship. Being a bartender or taking a lower wage job is a surefire way to only being able to sleep around. I’ve only met a few women who earn more than their spouse and can actually only think of one off the top of my head. Every other couple…

I would guess that people date mostly "inside" their social bubble (or with a similar social prestige). A broke bartender probably did not go to university etc. and therefore the background is different to the accomplished women with an MBA. There should be studies about it, maybe there's a way to make the conversation more fact based? For example, all relationships formed at work will probably lead to similar backgrounds.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#246

Post by HeyLaughingBoy »

ameminator wrote: post #146
thatfrenchguy wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I love how you cannot imagine a world where the women is the high earned, pretty insanely conservative to me.

Unfortunately, the current trend is for women to marry around the same income/social class, so it seems by personal choice women are marrying these types of people.

The current trend? When has it ever been the trend for people to marry outside their income level or social class?

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#247

Post by HeyLaughingBoy »

siftrics wrote: post #158
bluefirebrand wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yup. When I met my girlfriend she was really clear that she didn't want to date someone who didn't have a similar level of accomplishment to her. It wasn't about money entirely, but money was a part of it. She has a master's degree and manages a department of people at a fairly big company. I only have a bachelor, and I don't manage people, but I earn more than her. So I guess it balances out? She would never date a…

Wow, I am sorry your girlfriend has such superficial values.

Low blow, dude!

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#248

Post by blep_ »

zozbot234 wrote: post #197
mstipetic wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A suit is a signal of being considerate of others? Since when?

Since the suit became popular as informal clothing in the Western world, starting from the mid-19th to the mid-20th c. Look at old photos from that era and you'll see pretty much everyone wears suit-style clothes in public, even and perhaps especially folks we would consider "lower class" today. There was a reason for that, and it had a lot to do with signaling respect and being considerate to others.

It's signalling class, not respect. People can be assholes in any clothes. It's a tool for getting a certain type of person to respect you.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#249

Post by Retric »

zug_zug wrote: post #235
Retric wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article was mostly quoting statistics from a linked study in the beginning, only quoting a few people to get a feel for why this may have changed. Anyway, people taking time off between jobs only applies to people who actually swapped jobs. Unless job hoppers started taking a month off it’s not going to result in these numbers: The top-earning 10% of men in the U.S. labor market logged 77 fewer work hours in 2022…

So top 10% is $173,176 So basically this is just saying layoffs exist in tech.

10% of the US workforce is 16 million people, tech layoffs are nowhere close to that scale.

Also, being unemployed for a significant timeframe tends to lower earnings and pull people out of the top 10%.

Re: High-Earning Men Are Cutting Back on Their Working Hours

#250

Post by havelhovel »

bradlys wrote: post #75
xyzelement wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nearsighted view that's probably not common among those raised with a long term values perspective. Being a broke bartender is maybe cute in your 20s and maybe they are enjoying the "great women" they are dating. The problem is - once you hit 30 and beyond, being a broke bartender ain't that cute, and the kind of women stuck dating them aren't that *great" either. And there's no easy leap from a broke bartender in yo…

I’d also argue that for young men - unless you’re an absolute unit and breathtakingly handsome… you’re always going to need to make more than your partner for a long term relationship. Being a bartender or taking a lower wage job is a surefire way to only being able to sleep around. I’ve only met a few women who earn more than their spouse and can actually only think of one off the top of my head. Every other couple…

That the people in your life have led you to believe that a man’s romantic value comes from his appearance or relative income is only evidence that you need to meet better people. The reality is that women who feel that way are never going to be happy with anyone. You should check out the first chapter of Don’t Trust Your Gut if you want to know what really matters in a successful long term relationship.
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