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Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

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Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#1
When I started working for my company, I was ploughing through code at a good rate. A few months in, I was given a project that I never liked.

I don't know what an acceptable level of programming productivity is; I just feel as if I am 5-6 times slower than when I started.

Should I commit seppuku (this feels like the most honorable thing)? Should I renegotiate to take long unpaid breaks (this should revitalize me)? Am I panicking too much (I always panic too much)?

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#2
Am I panicking too much (I always panic too much)?

If you are asking this all seriously, then yes, you are panicking too much. Calm down.

Talk with a superior candidly about the situation. Taking breaks is not going to solve things if it is the project you don't like. Something about what you are working on/with is what needs to change.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#4
It is important to get yourself out of this situation as soon as possible. It's depressing, you're not learning as much as you could, you're (probably) learning bad habits. Seppuku is not the right answer.

How about a new project, a new job or find a way to make this project interesting (i.e. use a new approach, a new language, switch tasks with someone else working on the same project). Anything!

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#5
You have to get on a project that you do like. If you don't have enough "political pull" to make that happen right now, try to make it clear to your boss or other people in the organization that you'd really like to be doing something else. Taking long breaks is only a temporary solution.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#6
Welcome to the morass of professional life.

Is your career progressing? Have you accomplished anything in the last year that you'll put on your resume? Yes? Good, continue. No? Consider other options.

Is the project proceeding? How does your manager feel about your work? Good? Maybe it's a perception problem on your part. Anxious? Perhaps you're not being applied well and should be moved to a different project within or without the company.

Things checked out OK so far, but you're still not happy? Perhaps you should consider trying to flip your role in the company to something that would be more beneficial to both you and the company.

My productivity plummets during certain phases of projects. If you're feeling that way perhaps you just need to get past a milestone onto a better or more interesting task.

Don't panic about it! Some corporate structures can withstand an almost malicious amount of unproductive behavior; in fact, managing the spectrum of productivity is in large part what corporate management is about. That said, don't abuse it -- long term it will definitely hurt you more than them -- but think of it as productivity insurance while you figure out how you can succeed.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#7
Seriously, calm down. What's up with the assumption these days that everything done in our work is supposed to be fun? It's work. Sometimes it sucks, it's un-interesting, it's laborious, sometimes maddeningly menial. You're not always going to be learning at a fast pace. You could just quit and go somewhere else, get assigned a crappy project and find that the grass isn't any greener. Or you can suck it up and take the good with the bad. Put your head down and get through it and you'll learn how to deal with work that's not fun.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#8
This happens to everybody. I think I've commented on it here before: a lot of nascent entrepreneurs here appear to be working under the delusion that they'll redline at their peak productivity levels throughout the lifetime of their startup.

Here's what you need to remember: the difference between a professional and an amateur is that a professional comes and in and delivers work they'll stand behind all the time, whether it's fun or not. You are always going to work harder and faster when things are fun. Things are not always going to be fun. If you're a pro, you're going to keep going regardless.

Obligatory essay (not that they've set the world on fire either, but the sentiment is good): http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000339.html (Fire and Motion).

Best of luck.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#9
post #8

This happens to everybody. I think I've commented on it here before: a lot of nascent entrepreneurs here appear to be working under the delusion that they'll redline at their peak productivity levels throughout the lifetime of their startup. Here's what you need to remember: the difference between a professional and an amateur is that a professional comes and in and delivers work they'll stand behind all the time, wh…

That's a fantastic essay.

Somehow I always thought that no-one else had this problem. Seriously.

I hope I can finally give up my youthful arrogance. I always believed that when people spoke about getting experience they meant learning more about writing software (and how I scoffed at that). But it's just as much, if not more, about learning how not to turn around and run away.

Re: Ask HN: I am delivering mediocre work and feel awful about it. Should I commit seppuku?

#10
I'll be a contrarian: if you really don't like what you're doing, find a way to transition to something else.

That doesn't mean quitting immediately (and potentially jumping into another bad situation).

Rather, start making inquiries (either internally, at other companies, or start your own) and see what else you could be working on.

Just don't accept the idea that "work/life sucks, get used to it" as that's the surest way towards becoming a drone.

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