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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#162

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

I think it's very telling there's no real lesbian equivalent to the sex clubs for gay men, or Grindr for that matter. They do exist; relatively few women actually use them.

Pornography by and for gay men, is as popular if not more so, with gay men as pornography is with straight men. The market for such material aimed at women, gay or straight, is rather marginal by comparison.

Similarly, a very large % of gay men who are partnered romantically, are in open relationships. And by large % I mean around half. At least with American gay women, open relationships are a very minor thing, similar to the rates with heterosexuals.

The sexual behaviour of homosexual men and women is very different at a population/statistical level. Whether it's nature or nurture can of course be debated, but it seems like a very strong indicator that women's and men's sexuality are of a slightly different nature.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#163
post #65
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Prostitution is already legal in lots of countries. I’m not sure that there’s any evidence that it makes a huge amount of difference to this problem.

"lots of countries" To my knowledge only Germany.

There's a bunch more and coincidentally most of them are also leading countries for human trafficking.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#164
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To be fair this is not entirely due to social dynamics but rather due to MatchGroup companies following identical monetization patterns. They’re just capitalizing on male desperation and artificially widening or narrowing the gap depending on how much you pay. If you observe the actual dating climate it’s nowhere near this bad and in larger cities like NYC it can even be closer to 1:1. Rather than a social problem th…

There was an article a few years ago saying that in Manhattan women outnumber men, and that led to men needing to compete less there, so yeah probably economics related. But a gov-sponsored app? No way. It's bad enough they have your whole financial/employment history (IRS), but to add your health (medicare/aid) and now dating/sexual histories too? What's left that you can keep private? Sorry, bad idea there.

I hear you on privacy, but would you rather the data be given to MatchGroup who can sell and use that as they wish, or to the government that at least has an incredible amount of oversight and has to go thru greatly transparent lengths to move data? Having worked in both the gov and commercial spaces for a while I’d definitely say govt agencies are much, much, much more careful about how they handle sensitive information.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#165

The classic formula for hooking up is time and proximity - throw people together in the same space and wait - people will start hooking up. No app can provide this - they are designed with the exact opposite scenario in mind. This is why people meet in high school (4 years)/college(4 years)/at the office (40 years). With the move to remote work in many places we've cut off the office part - where people had the most…

I agree with this, remove school, college and work and what is left? Not much. Maybe a house of worship if you are religous. Remote work while it provides benefits to people; especially those already in a relationship and with kids, has its costs. Online college is an option now.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#166
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

So King Louis XVI witnessed the end of French monarchical rule because he failed to ban... what? Revolutions? Monarchy has nothing to do with whether or not the people in power believe in bans being useful.

Flag and move on, the guy is a troll and doesn't have a single useful/non-inflammatory post.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#167

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

> her inbox would be flooded with messages

Yeah this is a unstable feedback loop.

Women want men to message first. So they don't message first. So a lot of men spray all the women with generic messages first (because spending even any amount of effort on a single woman is most likely going to get ignored, so men just assume 1 in 100 people respond and don't put much effort until there is at least one response from her). Women then get inboxes flooded. Women then increasingly don't message first because they get complacent with the hundreds of messages in their inbox.

The dating culture needs to change, women need to stop expecting men to lead, take some control, and pick and message people they'd like to get to know. If men start getting some nonzero amount of inbound from people who like them, they are less likely to need to "spray" the entire female population with generic messages.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#169

> It was reported that the 5% of the population with the highest number of vaginal sex acts accounted for more vaginal sex acts than the bottom 50% of the population Damn, when you put it like that...

Sounds like we found a group that needs to be taxed

/S

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#170
There is a well-known, foolproof solution to sexual loneliness. As the ancient philosopher Diogenes put it, "I wish it was just as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly!"

Now, relationship loneliness may well be a different matter. But it can only be addressed by the individual.

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