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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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31–40 of 806 posts

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#31
Does anyone think this a lot of this is hormone driven? I know there are studies that show sperm counts are dropping due to chemicals, but I haven’t been able to find anything regarding testosterone levels. I’m not arguing that having higher testosterone will make women more attracted to men, but having higher testosterone undoubtedly gives you more energy/confidence to succeed in life (which probably makes you more attractive to women).

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#32

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

Tinder is straight up depressing for the median dude. My mind was blown just how much harder it was to get a date on tinder vs getting a date in real life. I can do the latter pretty easily but trying to get one on tinder would be like months of constant effort to then get ditched before the date even starts.

It feels like 90% of women on there are chasing the top 10% of dudes and not settling for anything else.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#35
post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a difference between sexual loneliness and being an Incel. Incels believe the world owes them sex and they are entitled to it. People suffering from sexual loneliness aren't all incels and to lump together both groups does a disservice to non-incel people that suffer from this.

"Incel" just means "INvoluntary CELibate". It's a diverse group with diverse opinions.

That's just factually wrong. Even a quick read of Wikipedia would tell you that.

> An incel (/ˈɪnsɛl/ IN-sel, an abbreviation of "involuntary celibate"[1]) is a member of an online subculture of people who define themselves as unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.[2][3][4] Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment and hatred, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against women and sexually active people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel

That's almost like arguing Nazis are a diverse group with diverse opinions because some hate black people, others hate jews.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#36
post #6
post #2

Haven't incels been talking about this for years?

Yeah, but it is their response to the problem that is problematic.

That's one-sided view. Obviously the sexual market disposition is PROBLEMATIC to some(majority?) of men. Then minority of men will create PROBLEMATIC situation for the rest of society.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#37
post #28

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

To be fair this is not entirely due to social dynamics but rather due to MatchGroup companies following identical monetization patterns. They’re just capitalizing on male desperation and artificially widening or narrowing the gap depending on how much you pay. If you observe the actual dating climate it’s nowhere near this bad and in larger cities like NYC it can even be closer to 1:1. Rather than a social problem th…

Can we skip the dystopia and do some free-software peer-to-peer or federated solution somehow? Are ActivityPub-like protocols useful for this?

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#38

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

I've been running online communities for years and this, as far as I can see, factual.

I've read somewhere, maybe multiple times, that most men are emotionally and sexually deprived. That sounds correct given the data I have.

I'm ok looking and I feel like I can make women like me. I still struggle sometimes. Many of my friends do much worse than me. I have friends that I find intellectually stimulating, average-looking, that have not been touched by a woman in years.

We don't talk too much about this but it's clear to me that it hurts them a lot, because it's not only about feeling desired, self-steem, or they can't fullfill their sexual desires.

It's that they don't have those moments of intimacy that you have with members of the oposite sex, when you're naked or just cuddling.

The only advice I've told them is to get out of any online stuff and hit bars. But they're in their 30s, their self-steem is already pretty low, and when I bring em somewhere it's pretty difficult to get it running. The times we've been around women, they get tired after a while and just want to grab me and go somewhere else.

The've had GFs and hookups from time to time (meaning maybe about 2 years), and from my POV the've been treated pretty badly.

IDK what to say, but I try to not think about it too much because it makes me sad.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#40

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

You say that like she's getting the good end of the deal. But everything I've heard from women on those apps, they'd rather have the "handful of sincere responses" experience than the "bazillion goofs spamming them and sending dick pics at the first hello".
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