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Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

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141–150 of 167 posts

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#141
I just decided to focus on getting through life as comfortably as possible. Chasing after extra money I don't need doing things I don't want to just means subsidizing less hard-working people at the expense of my own well being.

If I were in the US and could make $500k for being a typical employee then I may have been more motivated. It's not that I don't have my own business plans, but I'm generally taking it easy outside of a corporate career.

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#143
post #85

A semi-controversial take for OP and other commenters like OP: Try religion out. These kids of questions and angsts are very normal and very old. Religion has been there to help with this for a very very long time. If not a daily/weekly practice, then the religious texts that you prefer may help. For jews/christians, the Book of Job is a good starting place : https://www.bible.com/bible/1171/JOB.1.MEV (MEV lacks the…

For Hinduism I actually think a great book is Srimad Bhagavatam. But every hindu you ask may end up telling something different.

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#145
For me, it's about the process as much as the outcome.

I don't write code only because I want to achieve some distant future goal. I write code because that's part of who I am in the moment. I enjoy typing, I enjoy problem-solving, I enjoy building things, etc. Like a spider weaving a web, it has become part of my nature.

The beauty of humans is that we are general purpose machines, which can do a wide variety of things, because of how our bodies are, especially our hands.

The future of course is also important. Greater financial independence, learning new skills, improving one's character, meeting interesting personalities. All these of course are things we can hope for and strive for, but should also try to have reasonable expectations about, and avoid excessive entitlement.

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#148

First of all, these are valid feelings so don't just discard them. They are normal. They reflect your values. You want your life to have meaning, you want to have an impact on the world, you want to be happy. These are good things. They get you out of bed each day and motivate you. Now, just learn to tone your emotional response to these thoughts from 100% to like 20%. Remember that your desire to grind is rooted in…

For me, I'm chasing a great team to work alongside. I want to sit next to the developer I can ask about the pro/cons of any web development framework, that can help me analyze a heap dump, or explain why some transitive dependency is getting pulled in at compile time.

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#149

My answer was found by having kids. For me, one of the absolute best things about having kids was that it eliminated all doubt: I now had a 100% crystal clear main quest that trivially answers, "what should I be doing right now?" if I'm ever not sure. Everything else in life, especially my career, is just a side quest now. Why am I working? Before kids I foolishly thought it had something to do with being part of a t…

Have you not described just another goal to pursue, but in this case one that is very long-term and leaves you so busy you have no time to contemplate anything else? Also, is it that it really eliminated all doubt, or is it that you had no other realistic choice once the children were born?

What happens once your children grow up and leave? You are back in the original situation, except worse - the relationship with your spouse has now likely deteriorated, and you have now likely neglected your hobbies and interests (and often even your health) to the point you don't even know how to live by yourself anymore. Most parents do not seem to deal with that well, trying to hold on, pushing for grandchildren etc.

It does not seem like a solution at all, just a more extreme version of 'we keep grinding, hoping we'll achieve X and then we'll be content forever, only to find merely emptiness on the other side' where you voluntarily choose to intensify your grind dramatically and leave yourself no alternatives.

In fact, just substituting 'by having kids' with another such activity that dramatically intensifies your grind and leaves you no alternatives seems to work just as well. "My answer was found by [going on a trek through the Sinai desert/giving everything to charity and going to live on a homestead away from civilization/circumnavigating the world on a small boat]. For me, one of the absolute best things about it was that it eliminated all doubt: I now had a 100% crystal clear main quest that trivially answers, 'what should I be doing right now?' if I'm ever not sure. Everything else in life is just a side quest"

Re: Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

#150

You're supposed to enjoy the journey, not hyper focus on the destination. If the journey is not fun, the destination is not worth it, especially since you may never even get there in the first place.

Who says you are supposed to enjoy the journey? As a trivial example, 'the journey' of studying for an important exam is hard work, and you would enjoy playing video games instead a lot more. But by focusing on the destination and enduring hardship, you ace your exam, which has a massive effect on the rest of your life. Was the destination not worth it?
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