Ask HN: What are we even chasing?

Get yourself to a therapist, and evaluated by a psychiatrist. Concerns around holistic well-being aside, it is an urgent practical matter for you to be able to sustain yourself.

For me, the combination of COVID, a soul-sucking employer (though with a fantastic team I miss very much), and being unable to see my family on the other side of the planet for three years was too much. I'd have been fired were it not for the fantastic team. I had almost nowhere else to turn, so I finally took the (extensive) advice to see a therapist. Between therapy and psychiatry I found what was needed to get myself out of the awful job and into one I enjoy, and I can be productive again.

Once sustaining yourself is worked out and the pressure is off, you can work on the more holistic aspects.

Good luck mate! Happy to talk further in the comments if you'd like.

Context for those who haven't read OP's replies below: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34520883

What would that be?

CS Lewis captured this perfectly in his essay " The Inner Ring". TLDR: there is none.

>As long as you are governed by that desire you will never get what you want. You are trying to peel an onion: if you succeed there will be nothing left. Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain.

>If all you want is to be in the know, your pleasure will be short lived. The circle cannot have from within the charm it had from outside. By the very act of admitting you it has lost its magic.

>You merely wanted to be “in.” And that is a pleasure that cannot last. As soon as your new associates have been staled to you by custom, you will be looking for another Ring. The rainbow’s end will still be ahead of you. The old ring will now be only the drab background for your endeavor to enter the new one.

https://www.lewissociety.org/innerring/

Read some philosophers who have didicated writings handling those topics. It might change your views on the matter in a more meaningful way than HN crowd. I would try to find something, I am passionate about and try to use my skillset in that area. There is plenty there [1]. Personally, I try to make the world just a little better and keep my physical and mental well being in check.

[1] https://80000hours.org/

I'm 47. After worrying a lot about this, I came to the conclusion that the objective should be to be comfortable and that's it. If you have a roof over your head, can save some money and are able to travel and have fun, you've made it. Everything else is basically bullshit.

Also, don't create unnecessary problems for yourself - keep it simple. Don't have kids if you don't want to. Don't buy a car if you don't need it. Don't buy a huge house if all your need is 2 bedrooms. In other words, don't measure your success by external metrics.