It makes me kinda sad that if this were to happen in my country (Peru), the police wouldn't do anything under the pretext that the suspect hasn't actually done anything.
How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
141–150 of 225 posts
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
I thought this too. But you can feel incredibly powerless if all you do is “let the police handle it.” Even in this instance, nothing would have come of it had they not traced the guy. Prosecution of crime happens after a crime is committed. Cops can’t do much if you’re worried someone will harm you or a loved one. Even if stalking is illegal, cops won’t / can’t feasibly spend the resources investigating and punishin…
> nothing would have come of it had they not traced the guy Notify the cops. Track the guy down. Go to the station and request someone come out with you. This takes cops off the desk, which they’re rarely against unless you’re a nutter.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#143Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am sure he didn't mean it in a bad way, but that doesn't mean that emphasis on gender like that isn't problematic. I specifically am referencing the multiple spots where it is highly implied that the brothers were there to rescue her and that she was completely naive otherwise and would have been helpless without them. The fact that they were in the business of online security was what specifically helped her, and…
Why do you have to neutralize them into ‘people close to her’? They are her brothers. Call it like it is. Every brother-sister relationship I’ve known is distinctly different than brother-brother or sister-sister relationships.
Three sisters would not have gone this route and the police would likely have done nothing until after the stalking had escalated further. Also, 1 brother might not have attempted this either, especially considering the guy was a large creep and smart enough to wear a mask.
Nor would a woman allow her sisters to go vigilante for her.
These guys were quite restrained. I know families with 3 or more brothers and at least 1 sister. And for them, at best, the stalker would not be walking for awhile.
Brothers can be protective, and enraged and activated in a different way. Not saying that's the best route for this situation or others. But in many cases, it IS the best solution. Stalking can escalate very quickly.
Everyone that is like "oh they were so dumb" likely 1) doesn't understand that brother/sister dynamic, 2) hasn't had much experience with the police and/or 3) has never been violated by a stalker/home intruder/etc or very close with someone who has.
I've helped get someone arrested and charged before. I had video of the man breaking into my neighbor's car. I confronted him with my neighbor in real-time. We got him out of the car and questioned him and checked to see if anything was stolen or damaged. We called the cops, they eventually showed up after the guy left. Asked me some questions and they tried to downplay it as a likely homeless person looking for place to nap which it clearly wasn't as I saw him going through the car.
I'm talking with the cops and I see the man down the street. He never left the neighborhood. I tell the cops "there he is"! They keep asking me questions and I'm confused at their inaction. Yes he didn't take anything. But he entered the vehicle, was trespassing and going through the glovebox. Go question him!
They respond slowly and head the man's way. They do nothing. Later that night, guy comes back and is seen by the neighbor from the car incident. He sees him attempt to break into the neighbors garage. Then succeeds in breaking into the house. Cops come and take it more serious. They clear the house and arrest the guy later down the street. I submitted evidence from the earlier incident and he was charged.
Without any resolution, these criminals escalate.
It's easy to say - don't confront criminals, call the police, it's their job and they're trained. But that's what people who haven't experienced these things or had to rely on the police say.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#144It makes me kinda sad that if this were to happen in my country (Peru), the police wouldn't do anything under the pretext that the suspect hasn't actually done anything.
I am not defending him because it starts like this and sometimes ends horribly bad... but what did he really do? other than wrote something on dirt (didn't even destroy her paint) and broke an egg on her car? In 80s I remember it was a normal thing to take few dozen of eggs to any street manifest and throw them at cops, other groups, etc. Insane how soy late snowflake weak people became these days.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#145Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sadly, if someone wants to find information there is enough online without needing to help them with social media. My parents have never had a social media account and I deleted mine years before I had an issue with someone who found out not only where I lived but my parents as well. (and having 20+ years in the software industry, I'm aware of how things work). Doing a simple search isn't that difficult to get the ad…
> Sadly, if someone wants to find information there is enough online without needing to help them with social media. I agree, but there is a fundamental difference between dealing with/managing publicly available information and contributing to it by vlogging/blogging/posting otherwise non-public details about your life and family. Sure, anyone could use the internet to find me/info about me with the right details an…
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hi, Where I live the police won't get seriously involved unless someone is injured or dead. I prefer not to wait that long.
I’m not sure if this is a regional thing; police are like this just about everywhere. In my region, most of the people in my community have all stopped calling the emergency services line to report crimes in progress because the dispatch yells and screams and berates the callers. There’s a Facebook group for my local town with dozens of people who say they don’t call anymore because of this. At some point, the police…
Obviously police are a diverse group, but certainly no white male police officer in his right mind would risk a violent encounter with a minority suspect in today’s political environment. If I were a cop, I’d get another job ASAP and focus on paperwork until I found one.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#147Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…
Cowardice: the post. Cops won’t care or do anything near me. Dangerous confrontation > dead/raped sister any day of the week.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am not defending him because it starts like this and sometimes ends horribly bad... but what did he really do? other than wrote something on dirt (didn't even destroy her paint) and broke an egg on her car? In 80s I remember it was a normal thing to take few dozen of eggs to any street manifest and throw them at cops, other groups, etc. Insane how soy late snowflake weak people became these days.
You're not allowed to harass people. With it being targeted, that's what this is. Also, you JUST acknowledged that these sorts of incidents have a history of escalating.
And acknowledging something does not make it a rule. People who drink and drive do cause more accidents. But not every drunk person will cause an accident.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#149Those brothers are lucky this stalker was so meek. Things could have easily ended horribly.
Could have also ended horribly for the stalker too if the brothers weren't so meek either. Three adults, a couple of them working in construction? Anywhere else, we wouldn't be reading this story. It'd just be a note in the local paper about a random assault one night. If that.
Not to mention criminals and crazy people do carry guns. The whole thing might as well ended with "three 6 feet-tall construction workers with black belts in jujitsu ended up dead shot by a 140 pounds stalker with semi-automatic gun"
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m not sure if this is a regional thing; police are like this just about everywhere. In my region, most of the people in my community have all stopped calling the emergency services line to report crimes in progress because the dispatch yells and screams and berates the callers. There’s a Facebook group for my local town with dozens of people who say they don’t call anymore because of this. At some point, the police…
Where is this awful place? It sounds like it's in the US; can you say which state at least?