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What to do when you’ve ruined your life

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Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#51

Post by spaniard89277 »

Is it a good thing to ruin your life more than once?

I'm still paying the price of not having a structured family (not my fault), not studying when I should, and spending pretty much all my life until I was close to 30 yo doing mostly nothing of substance.

It took me serious determination and hard work to close the gap. I did get my diplomas and stuff (and even chose the wrong degree for me), and still takes a toll on me.

I'm 35 and I'm in a free self-paced bootcamp (because I need to work and sustain myself, and I can't just pay 8k to barely learn anything for six months, without income), doing what I have should done 15 years ago, which is programming/data/etc.

Internally, I'm (kind of, not completely) in peace with my life, but mistakes do have a cost. Maybe if your family is rich or your mistake is a one-off then you can manage it without much of a problem, but fucking up your life can take very different forms.

You pay not only with your income, but socially too. You really have to get good at selling snake oil for getting attention from girls for example, or befriending people who's above your income level, and so much more.

So yeah, I don't think "ruining your life" is that fine.

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#52

Post by s1artibartfast »

kingkawn wrote: post #48
bounceyhouse84 wrote: post #19

[flagged]

The privileged have to invent their suffering in their leisure activities so that their lives feel any drop of meaning other than being an achievement trophy for the elder generation.

There's absolutely no need to make things into a competition.

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#53

Post by zafka »

drewcoo wrote: post #34
RubyRidgeRandy wrote: post #18

When I was 23, I misdosed myself and took 110mg of 4-AcO-DMT. The experience was EXTREMELY traumatic and I believed I was dying. At one point I was so overstimulated I just lay on my kitchen floor convulsing uncontrollably. The next few days I didn't know what to do. My body would just shake, I couldn't sleep and I stayed up until I passed out for an hour, and then my shaking would wake up myself up again. I was over…

> When I was 23, I misdosed myself and took 110mg of 4-AcO-DMT. Are you sure that was "micro" dosing? It doesn't sound so micro. And this says it's at least an order of magnitude larger dosage than a microdose would be. https://thethirdwave.co/microdosing/dmt/

I read micro dosing the first time also. Somewhat out of habit when there is cognitive dissonance, I reread it and saw what it actually said. Usually this feature of my mind helps me to read quickly, but it comes with side effects :)

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#54

Post by meindnoch »

pigtailgirl wrote: post #24

-- article gives no good advice on what to do when you ruined your life - so maybe hackernews has some good advice? --

Depends on how you’ve ruined it.

E.g. if you’ve got senteced to life in prison, then you should pick up a hobby like mathematics.

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#55

Post by Firmwarrior »

omginternets wrote: post #37
RubyRidgeRandy wrote: post #18

When I was 23, I misdosed myself and took 110mg of 4-AcO-DMT. The experience was EXTREMELY traumatic and I believed I was dying. At one point I was so overstimulated I just lay on my kitchen floor convulsing uncontrollably. The next few days I didn't know what to do. My body would just shake, I couldn't sleep and I stayed up until I passed out for an hour, and then my shaking would wake up myself up again. I was over…

How did you end up overdosing like that? What's the story, there? Also, how disruptive is the visual snow on a day-to-day basis? And does it attenuate a bit over time?

In case anyone else here isn't a druggie and wanted some context: According to Dr. Search Engine, MD, 2-5 milligrams is a "micro" dose, and 10-20 is a normal dose

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#56

Post by anigbrowl »

mb_72 wrote: post #13
anigbrowl wrote: post #4

tl;dr subscribe to my blog and maybe sign up for a course, basically a support group for people who like memes and need a pep talk. Shallow but not insincere.

Graham's writings and book helped me make it through Covid isolation and a relationship breakdown. He and his partner have done very good work for many people in the area of mental health in Australia: https://www.bigfeels.club/about-honor-eastly-and-graham-pant...

Agreed it might be just right for many people. I didn't realize he was Australian, that would have made the tone easier for me to interpret.

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#57

Post by throwayyy479087 »

pigtailgirl wrote: post #24

-- article gives no good advice on what to do when you ruined your life - so maybe hackernews has some good advice? --

Yes!

If you’ve really screwed the pooch, delete all internet presence and leave the country. No one in Costa Rica will look too deeply into your history. Leave illegally if you have to. Better to start over than many other options.

If you’re too fucked for that, like you’re an active pedophile or a SBF figure, there’s another option that I’m not going to mention by name. Some modes of living - bring Derek Chauvin right now for example - are going to scare you so badly that when they end, you’re still fucked.

Generally though, restarting is possible and much more common than you think.

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#58

Post by joshmarinacci »

There’s not really advice here but it does speak the truth. In one year both my marriage and my mother died. I’m still here and still surviving. I still have days that feel hopeless, but that really is because fear doesn’t know the future. It makes me feel comfortable saying to myself “Today sucked and was a complete wash. Let’s go to bed and try again tomorrow.”

Re: What to do when you’ve ruined your life

#59

Post by simonebrunozzi »

throwayyy479087 wrote: post #57
pigtailgirl wrote: post #24

-- article gives no good advice on what to do when you ruined your life - so maybe hackernews has some good advice? --

Yes! If you’ve really screwed the pooch, delete all internet presence and leave the country. No one in Costa Rica will look too deeply into your history. Leave illegally if you have to. Better to start over than many other options. If you’re too fucked for that, like you’re an active pedophile or a SBF figure, there’s another option that I’m not going to mention by name. Some modes of living - bring Derek Chauvin rig…

> there’s another option that I’m not going to mention by name

I don't know if you're suggesting one should commit suicide, or if you're talking about something else entirely.

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