Ask HN: Where are all the parties? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#191

Post by whstl » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:16 PM UTC

pavlov wrote: post #69

I'm 42 and last year moved back to my home country. We wanted to throw a housewarming party but getting enough people in one place on a specific day at a specific time seemed like an impossible challenge. Everybody had busy schedules for their precious August weekends anyway. We ended up doing a full-weekend party where people could drop by whenever they can. The first guests came on Friday around 6 pm and the last o…

I've noticed exactly the same thing. Everybody is busy with their schedules.

In retrospect the COVID years were much better for my social life than the last six months. During COVID, people were really looking forward to interact with people, and would jump into activities as long as it was online, or if you did a quick test before meeting.

But now people went back to their busy schedules of solo activities outside the house and they're tired, and there's no time for concerts together, no time for going to a soccer game, no time for playing board games or going for a hike.

Unless you're willing to compromise and do something you're not really into (I'm not good with FPS games, Allan, sorry), people are gonna do their own things and "mandatory socialization" seems enough for them.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#192

Post by yafbum » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:17 PM UTC

axlee wrote: post #47

etothepii wrote: post #20

My problem with many of the comments is that even at 35 I'd find it quite strange, "taking someone to a party." So assuming that I'm remotely normal by almost 50 there is very little chance of successfully using the host more parties and meet more people that like parties strategy. If you invite people to a party, I think they are most likely to bring their spouse/SO so you are thus unlikely to meet new people that m…

If you have a cook or a housekeeper you're nowhere near upper middle class. Those are bygone times.

I guess a cook can be hired for parties.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#193

Post by curiousllama » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:18 PM UTC

yunwal wrote: post #185

TechnicolorByte wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thai rings true IME. My (small) social circle died out with COVID/remote work/moving to the city and I’ve struggled to make connections because I’m not the type to initiate events. Realizing now that I’ve taken for granted these organizing people and will have to be comfortable becoming the “shameless type” and risk rejection if I want to make friends.

I went through this probably a year ago and I think it’s probably something everyone should go through. Like immersion therapy for rejection.

> Like immersion therapy for rejection.

Love this phrasing

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#194

Post by louwrentius » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:18 PM UTC

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#195

Post by yafbum » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:19 PM UTC

orangetuba wrote: post #91

ankaAr wrote: post #86

Argentinan here. 38 yo. "Parties" Are now dinners with friends, no more than 10. Many of them has child's so is hard for everyone to go, but we do some meetings. As professional, parties moved to After offices, until pandemic, no more than 1 or 2 hours in a bar with colleagues (even we had the adminbeers for sysadmin community). That was really nice. Anyway I'm moving to Chicago, so just tell me when you wants to do…

Unfortunately I don't even live in the US, but BBQ with someone Argentinian would be incredible.

One Argentinian I knew really wanted to BBQ a whole cow. Does need the ability to throw a big party!

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#196

Post by fnordpiglet » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:19 PM UTC

hansbo wrote: post #187

fnordpiglet wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We introverts will make great residents of Mars. People always talk about how impossible it’ll be for humans to live there in relative isolation. Those people are obviously normals, and they always assume the others like us don’t count. I’d do just fine with myself or a small number of close partners for the rest of my life. Further, a lot of folks on the spectrum wouldn’t do _just_ fine, they would do better. . A pl…

I think the relative isolation is one of the smallest challenges related to colonizing Mars.

Yes, I didn’t rank it in the challenges, just that it’s always brought up.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#197

Post by michaelcampbell » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:22 PM UTC

My guess is your first two hypothesis. I'm in my mid 50's, and if I want to socialize, I find I'm almost always the one to have to initiate it. Generally with younger friends/colleagues.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#198

Post by FpUser » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:23 PM UTC

61yo. Still have parties often enough but mostly it is between narrow circle of old friends. Also I have get together with friend or two 1 - 2 times a week.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#199

Post by rank0 » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:23 PM UTC

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

This idea is something if felt but have been unable to articulate.

For example, one of my very close friends is an ultra progressive guy. He’s vegan and talks a lot about personal responsibility to combat climate change. He was condemning people partying at my house for using disposable vapes since the packaging and plastic is wasteful…never mind the 6 pack of beer bottles he brought!

Another close friend is borderline carnivore, and likes to joke about controversial topics.

Having both of those guys around inevitably leads to arguments (mostly friendly) but that shit makes the other guests uncomfortable!

People need to stop caring so much about how others live and speak. Your personal philosophy isn’t special and shouldn’t prevent you from socializing with others!

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#200

Post by stirfish » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 4:23 PM UTC

motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

I saved this to copy/paste whenever I hear about a party I'm not invited to (my fussiness scales negatively)